Has anyone asked to change there MW?

[mannicmummyhavinaiccy]

Has anyone had problems with there midwife and asked to change? how did you do it and was there problems, my dp and dm are telling me to change mine, as they always get the call from me in floods of tears ofter appointmnts :( Im worried the other mw's will think im a troublemaker and will get less care? im 38 weeks, so should I bother or put up and shut up? this mw will be atending to me in labour as well.

Hi Manni

I'm 9 weeks, just had an appointment with nurse who will be my assigned carer/midwife equivalent where I am here in the USA (they don't seem to call them midwives). I had to see her as I had a scan and bleeding. Long story short, it was an horrendous experience, instead of talking me through my scan results (the sonographer wouldn't, weird hospital policy here), she said, yep all fine, now let's talk about your 'advanced maternal age' and genetic counselling and spent the next 25 mins aggressively pushing me to go for this test and that, despite me saying I wouldn't do anything no matter what the results might be. She didn't want to listen, was aggressive to the point of offensive.

I came away so distraught, cried all the way home, I texted my DH who come home from work straight away. We absolutely will be changing dr's as I think they might all be like this. Haven't met the consultant she works for but don't feel good about their ethics.

Don't let her intimidate you, be rude or whatever / however she behaves that is making you feel bad. Absolutely change if you are feeling vunerable or pissed off with her and bugger if she is offended by your change!

Can't unfortunately claim to know the process for changing...say to the surgery you categorically don't want to deal with her?

Sorry you have to deal with this so close to your due date when you have enough going on. Sorry this probably doesn't help much, just wanted you to know there are others unhappy with their health carers.

Good luck.

Forgot to add that I wouldn't want someone with me during labour or visiting me in my home afterwards who left me feeling uncomfortable or vunerable, or someone I just plainly didn't like! They are there to reassure and make you feel safe and protected.

Hi manni,
I would like to echo what matt. said above - no matter how embarrased you feel about doing it (I hate confrontation too) you should 'bite the bullet' and change. Your GP receptionist may be able to tell you how. For some 'imparital' advice - they're usualy quite knowledgable and seem to like to be asked!

You dont want this woman around when your giving birth! Or, as was said above, in your home afterwards when you may be even more emotional than now. Other midwives are unlikely to have any feelings about ladies swapping, it's a personal thing. By the sound of it you probably wont be the first to ditch her anyway! Find yourself a nice one, there's some real angels out there -

Good luck hun, :)

Definately change. I did in my last pg as I wanted a homebirth and my midwife firstly refused and then I had strings of comments such as 'you're brave' and 'rather you than me'

I rang the supervisor of midwives at the hospital and they changed me discretely to another midwife.

I would definitely change her. I had a midwife I had problems with who I dreaded seeing in my labour and she came. I think it partly caused my failure to progress as I was doing fine until she arrived and then stalled as I was hugely tense around her and didn't want her there. Every time she touched me I tensed up and I couldn't get away from her.

I didn't change because I was too embarrased to ask and I really regret it. My DH said if she turned up this time round he wouldn't let her over the doorstep.

CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE
This is such an important and special time and your labour will be intimate and stressful as it is without having her there to ruin it for you. The last thing you want is some horrid woman making you feel self-conscious and upset. Contact the supervisor of midwives and if she is no help demand to change hospitals - state in your birth plan that that woman is to come nowhere near you and get DP on Witch-Watch!

I too have had to do this. The other midwives will understand. As someone already posted they are probably used to ladies switching away from her. If she is that bad then her colleagues probably don't like her either (let's face it, do any of us really like every person we work with?) and at the end of the day you (and they) can blame it on your hormones. Not that it is your hormones. You are a bloody goddess performing a sodding miracle and anyone who is going to be nasty can just bugger off!

^what gothmum said!

It's too important. Ring the hospital, ask to speak to the Ssupervisor of Midwives and clearly and factually set out your concerns about this midwife. Ask to be transferred to a more supportive midwife and explain you do not want the original one to attend to you in labour.

She should then just get on and arrange this. But the supervisor needs to know and it may well be you are not the only mum-to-be who's had problems with this midwife - and unless someone speaks to the supervisor, then she won't know to do anything about it!

Wishing you a good labour :) take sports cap bottles of lucozade cos they can be drunk at any angle!