Would you ask for a seat on a bus?

[CalaLilly]

I have to take public transport in rush hour tomorrow and am not looking forward to it! I don't live in London so we don't have baby on board badges. People may wonder if I'm pregnant in my huge maternity coat (I'm 30/40) but I could easily just be on the round side so most people wouldn't dare ask. Most people who are lucky enough to get a seat tend to avoid any eye contact with the standers so that they don't notice if someone needs the seat more than them. Also, a lot of people sleep, read or listen to music so it can be hard to communicate.

Would you dare to ask someone/ the bus at large or stand for 2 20 min bus rides, facing the risk of squashing your bump as people get on and off?

I prob wouldnt ask but would be expected to be offered. Make sure ur coats not buttoned up and you bloat urself out more haha.

Yes. Did it on the tube the other day (very nicely, and direct to one person rather than the whole carriage) and they didn't mind at all.

I used to have this problem with bus to and from work full of school kids plus other adults even if I got to the bus stop first the kids would push tp the front and get on first as i would be sitting on the little bench thing. I usually had to ask them to remove their schhol bag so I could sit down but often men and women use a seat for their bag and seem quite happy for others to stand, so rude. Ask someone what if you lose your footing, just ask for a seat , don't be shy.

Yes, I most definitely would and do. My grandmother fell down on a bus when she was 6 months pregnant, had a big bleed and lost the baby. Just thinking of that gives me the courage to ask people to move, as I'm normally really shy and would resort at best to passive aggressive tactics.

I have yet to have anyone object and most people have been really nice about it. But you do need to ask as people either don't notice or pretend they haven't and hope you'll bother someone else!

It's a lot easier if they're already sitting in the special seats - the driver will intervene if they won't get up and they don't have a genuine disability.

I'm 29 weeks and I commute to London every day. Some days I'm happy to stand - I figure I should enjoy being mobile while I still have the chance. If I'm offered a seat though, I always gratefully accept (apart from the day a really old lady offered me her seat). I only ask for a seat on the rare occasion I'm feeling a bit hot or faint.

If you need to sit, you shouldn't be ashamed to ask. Better that than keeling over!

I have the LT Baby on Board badge, and have found it has very little impact on others' behaviour but excuses my own! Scored unsolicited seats only twice, so far, in about 8 weeks of wear, but it has also excused a fall into someone's lap as well as giving me the right to sit in seats-reserved-for-people-less-able-to-stand. I'm now 26 wks and found the badge most helpful earlier on when it was a lot less obvious I needed the seat!

If you're 30wks there is no doubt or embarrassment, I would certainly not hesitate to ask if no seat.

I have two phrases for the tube/bus, said as assertively as I can manage (think teacher-type statements, rather than questions):

"May I sit here, please" (when bags are taking space - I'd sweeten my tone a little if asking someone to get up for me)
"Excuse me, please"

They tend to do the trick.

I almost always ask for a seat on the tube. I just go over to the priority seat and ask nicely without trying to make a statement - that way people are normally very happy to get up.

Normally I'm always the one getting up for people so I figure it's simply my turn now

Absolutely. Why wouldn't you? An "excuse me, I could really do with a seat, I'm pregnant" whilst standing in front of a couple of people you reckon might be capable of standing (or someone in the priority seat), usually does the trick.

I commute into London 3 days a week (involving a train and then tube journey - so 12 separate journies a week) and now I'm 27 weeks and very def showing I've actually had - on more than one occasion - several people stand up at once and argue about whose seat I should sit in!

Agree with others who say that they've stood up for others long enough, it's hardly wrong to ask for a seat for the short time that you really need it.

Oh, and I was struck by a comment on a similar thread (the OP was complaining that no one noticed her bump and people never stood up for her): you are pregnant, not mute. If you need a seat, just ask.

As a London commuter, a 7ft green alien could get on and I wouldn't notice.

LOL Wigeon - I am sure I've shared carriage space with that 7ft green alien but only noticed when he was getting off!

Definitely ask. Like Smiler80 I've almost always had to ask for a seat on the tube/train. Nobody has refused or been funny about it, they look up and see my big bump and my TFL 'Baby on Board' badge and they're fine with it. I've been offered a seat a fair few times, but most of the time had to ask. It always amazes me how few people offer - plenty of people have even checked out the bump and the badge and then looked away again (which makes them a prime target for me to ask as I think that's really rude of them) I'm always polite about it though and tend to ask the people in the priority seats.

I used to ask when I was heavily pregnant and using the Tokyo subway system - they have priority seats for elderly/disabled/pregnant people, but they are usually full of fit young men pretending to be asleep.

But I am a foreigner and have no shame. I don't think many Japanese women have the courage to ask - I have often seen them swaying on the handstraps next to the priority seats being ignored.