No 2 on the way- no room

[anon80]

Hello,

this is my 8th week since my last period and im too scared to take a test.

Me and oh have been together over 5 years we have a little one 16 months, we live in a one bed flat that we have a morgage on, even thou this is a 1 bed its very spacious and fits the 3 of us perfectly, a snug fit- my ds sleeps in the same room as me and my oh, bed wardrobes and cot, not really room for anything else. we are/where planning on moving to a house, minimum 2 bed in summer, but with the prices on the market at the moment it doesnt look like we will be able to afford to do this.

My lo is a very happy child and aprt from a few little niggles between me and oh regarding his family, things are improving massivly and were very happy together and stronger than ever.

moroles tells me not to get an abortion if i am pregnant - i dont aactually agree with them, but in reality and rationality, how could i keep this baby, if anything, if i was to keep this baby we would all be stuck in this 1 bed forever, or have to go on coucil, which will mean when me and oh die our lo's will have nothing handed to them. we also cant have 2 cots in our bedroom, there just insint room, i feel we would struggle, putting stress on us all and eventually making my ds1 misrable.

Is it acceptable to put the borns intrests first over the unborns????

this is obviously mine and my oh's fault, we are not trying to deny otherwise, i could be pregant and there is noone to blame other than our selves, but if it helps in anyway this was not planned - and we do use condoms, and im pretty really really sure that they havent split, when i mentioned to him today this is my 8th week his chin hit the floor- literally- and to be honest if i was him i would be thinking ' you must have slept with some one else' good thing he knows im not like this, as it realy is a mistery how this has happened to us, we are a responsable couple.

what would your advise be if i was pregnant - instead of taking morale high ground plase try to think that this is my life and think - reality instead.

i know i will get flamed in this thread, but if you could ofer advise alongside it that would be great
x

tbh it depends on what decision you could live best with...

I think you need to find out if you are definitely pregnant. Then you can decide what you really want. There are lots of reasons for missing a period. Mine always goes if I have lots a bit of weight or am very stressed. It could be the stress of worrying that has delayed it!

Then if you are....

Do you want another child, regardless of anything else?

Could you think about renting a bigger place (if you own your flat you could rent this out to cover some of the cost)?

If your flat is big enough is there anyway you could split up a room or hallway to make room for another cot? The family across from us growing up had 2 girls in bunks in one room, and their son in the space under the stairs!

Fist you need to do a test.

There is every possibility you are not pregnant.

Constantly worrying about it can keep your period away IMO.

Hi anon could you get a settie bed and make your living room able to convert into a bedroom for you and DH?. Give the bedroom to the DC?. Then stay where you are until you go back to work (which having children close usually helps in the long run with finances) and maybe then get a bigger place when you ave more wages and equity?

My advice to you would be to buy a good quality sofa bed, and move yourselves into the living room, then when your babies are older they can share the bedroom until you can find a 2 bedroom flat.

I've a feeling house prices are going to drop within 3 years.

First, do a test. There are too many uncertainties at the moment and that must feel really scary.

Then ask yourselves if you want another child now (or are likely to in the next few years).

Then you'll hopefully have your answer. The practicalities (finding room in your flat or moving house) will sort themselves out if you want another child.

I really hope you don't get a flaming here. I think it is good to be honest and sometimes it just really helps to write things down.

Only you can decide what is right for you and your family, and you should follow your heart. Do a test and at least you will have a starting point.
There are lots of families living in situations like yours, and even if it is a squeeze it won't be like that forever, things change. Good luck.

Good luck what ever you decide - no one has the right to preach morals at you. :) x

bless you, things happen.

i agree with the others, do the test. but sometimes it is best to think through a situ before so the panic doesnt overwhelm you should you be pg.

if you are and want the baby then i do agree the sofa bed solution is the best way to go. i echo crawling and coldtits with a plan of action.

we cant afford to move out of our 2 bed flat, but we will keep dc2 in with us then do bunk beds for a while. by the time dc2 is at school my work will ease so i can increase hours. noone finds it easy when littlies are young but we needed to take the gamble as we want 2 kids, we WILL end up with a lovely house and income but for now we are having to be a bit cosy!!!

happiness is important and as long as you can finance things and bumble along you will be fine

xxx