Is my PTSD hurting my baby?

[nello]

I am 36 weeks pregnant and everything seems to be fine, except that I have one over-whelming worry. I was badly assaulted just before I got pregnant and I have been suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Most of the time I am fine, but I have occasions, especially when I am made to talk about it (which has been necessary in terms of counseling and legal matters)where my whole body shakes badly with a kind of adrenalin that surges through my body.

Because I don't like this I have put any further talks about the assault on hold for now, but i am so scared that I have hurt my unborn baby. I can't bear the thought that the assault could in effect hurt my baby too.

Yesterday I had a scan and the doctor commented that the baby was very calm, as she wasn't moving much, and I can't help but wonder whether she is not moving much because of all the stress and that I have damaged her. I do feel her move, and I don't know what is 'normal'.

In addition she is in breach position. Is this common at 36 weeks?

If anyone has any wise words, it would be really appreciated. Thanks :)

hi i have never experienced this, but what i will say is try not to worry or focus on it, the worse is over( i pray) and you just need to focus on your unborn child that needs a relaxed mum. I have heard that some babies pick up the feeling from the mum but it will drive you mad if you think about it too much and so close to the finish line - think about the positives and the wonderful things you should be doing now as in preperation to your baby coming!
have you got anyone who can offer you some support?
Sending you massive hugs, best wishes and prayers to you and your baby.

all the best

Thanks for your message. Yes, my partner is very supportive but he, like everyone else, just says of course I'm not harming the baby, but I just can't quite believe them and relax with it. Most of the time I manage to put the worrying to the back of my mind, but it is always there.

I am so excited about the baby, but so scared that there could be more bad news around the corner.

Thank you so much :)

Hi Nello sorry to hear about your assault. If it is any consolation i think the fears and worries you are experiencing are common with your experience. So don't worry that you are worrying
I have sent you a private message but for now just wanted to say try not to worry, easier said than done. xx

Thanks so much OompaLumpa :)

I've just found out I'm pregnant and have been wondering about risks from PTSD as I suffer after being raped 2 and a half years ago. I have flashbacks where I start shaking badly so would appreciate any advice as well.

Hi Unicornlover,

Not sure I can offer any advice as only going through this myself, but thought I'd reply as another person in a similar position.

When I found out I was pregnant I wasn't sure I could keep it, even though I wanted a baby, because of my mental state. Now I'm nearly there, and I have honestly been scared the whole way through it, but as well so so excited and I want this baby so much. Probably the reason why I am so scared, because I want her to be perfect and for nothing to go wrong. I do think it is hard going through pregnancy with PTSD as I haven't been able to relax into the pregnancy the whole time. My doctor tells me that everything is fine,and I do try and rationalise that it is just me fearing the worst without any real reason. I have scared myself with the shaking, it doesn't feel nice at all when you are carry a little baby, but everyone reassures me that the placenta does an amazing job of protecting the baby.

Maybe someone else will have some proper advice. Sending you all the positive vibes, I'm sure you'll be fine. Make sure you speak to your doctor about it.

I'm finding that morning sickness etc is a lot worse if i have a flashback. Doc keeps saying it'll be fine but has had to take me off all of my meds cos i'm pg so it's really bad atm. I know it's not helping with me worrying but what else can i do especially considering I've had chemical pregnancies in the past caused by stress

So sorry to hear about your traumatic experiences, nello and Unicornlover. As I have not been through anything remotely like this, I'm not sure if any thoughts I have are relevant at all (and you might have already tried them) - I was wondering if you have looked into relaxation techniques to help you with the anxienty attacks. Something in the line of hypnobirthing, that can help you with pain management, only in your cases trying to manage stress and anxiety?

Just a thought, please ignore if you think this is irrelevant!

I had PTSD whilst I was pregnant with my twins... they are now over one and seriously chilled out babies. They are fun, a delight, but chilled - and that's a GOOD thing. Believe me, from the mother of another livewire! I don't think it was anything to do with the PTSD. Your baby will be just perfect - your baby, perfect for you.

I have never been pregnant but I was treated for PTSD with clinical hypnosis and EMDR light therapy and for me it turned out to be more effective than prescription medication.

One of the things I found most helpful was that I didn't need to even talk about the trauma, I just needed to let the feelings be felt (but not to the same extent) and was eventually de-sensitised with the treatment.

If you have health insurance it's covered by both BUPA and AXA.

People who are alcoholics, smokers and heroin addicts give birth to healthy babies far more often than doctors would like you to believe, and cortisol and adrenaline are nothing by comparison. You will be okay, chick.

why the blame on yourself? If you had pre eclampsia, would you blame yourself? or were diabetic? or any of a myriad other illnesses? None of them are your fault and there is nothing you can do about them, other than to keep them under control as best as you and the healthcare team you are with, can do.
Please dont worry about this question. What will be, will be, and you will have a lovely baby that will be entirely yours, for you to love and cherish.

:)

Have just come back to this thread after a few days away, and thank you for such lovely replies, i actually have tears in my eyes!

Unicornlover - remember the morning sickness will soon be over. I felt much better not having to cope with it. I have had to spent the last 9 months not doing a very good job of anything, just focusing on the pregnancy, that's all i could do.

Weegle - so good to hear that your twins are fine despite the PTSD, really really good to hear!

JBrd - yes, and trying lots of relaxation :)

thomasbodley - totally agree with your last sentence, and have been using this idea to help me rationalise.

Ladysybil - thank you. i know i need to stop blaming myself, you are right.

Only 3 weeks to go. I am so excited, just need to get the little monkey to turn head down now! Any ideas?!

Thankyou so much, it really helps :)

I cant offer you scientific advice just personal experience.

I have had two babies since have PTSD. They are both laid back and very bright kids.

Studies have been done about cortisol and trauma etc but these are usually with regard to the babies of women suffering prolonged trauma. Studies are generally done on drug addicts/those living within violent and chaotic households etc. You have to remember that these women almost always have muliple factors that could contribute to difficulties their babies suffer from. i.e. drug and alchohol abuse, sleeping rough, inadequate diet etc.

I did yoga and listened to hypnobirthing CDs and these things really helped me.

I am very sure all will be well with your baby.