Calling mums of 4 - or planning a 4th. Should I have one more baby..

[laa]

..or not. DS is 4.5, DD is 2.5 and baby DD is 7mos old. Obviously life could not get much busier at the moment, but when life gets calmer (if ever?) a 4th might be nice. We'd planned on 4 but having been so rushed off our feet recently, wonder if that's the best way forward. We have short age gaps so I thought about leaving a bigger gap. But then would no.4 feel like a tag on. If there are 3 will there always be one left out. My gut instinct is that I'd like another (I can't ever imagine not wanting one). However, I was v.v. morning sick throughout the pregnancies with my two daughters and had SPD. Also there's the money factor - specifically the car.
Obviously all this soul searching will be pointles when baby DD is 14mos old, DH and i have a glass of wine or three, no condoms and just say, what the hell let's make a baby..Does anyone have similar age gaps and a 4th? I'd love to hear back.

Go with your instinct Laa. I love having 4. Busy though.

When number 4 is born my eldest will be one month short of her 5th birthday! It's going to be really hard work but I am convinced that the benefits outweigh the cons. I won't be having anymore though!

Good Luck

Lu

The first thought that came into my mind is how expensive they are as they get older. I have two teenagers and a five year old. The teenagers want money hand over fist - allowance, school uniform, school trips, contributions to school projects etc. Hardly a day goes by that there isn't something you have to shell out for and it's hard work providing for all that. Plus they lounge around the house as if you were a servant. Even if you do 'explain' to them. Even if you do 'bring them up to be considerate'. They're teenagers. They don't respect your furniture, 'borrow' your toiletries etc, help themselves to everything. You spend your life shopping and repairing things. While your dh works himself into an early grave trying to make the money you need.

If you still want to be surrounded by them after all I've said, good luck . Remember if you have one now you will have 4 teenage schoolkids all together...

anorak - a friend of mine has 9 children, 8 of them were teenage at once. she adores teenagers. but her shopping bills are huge.

OMG!!!

anorak - indeed! now she has loads of little grandchildren some of whom live with them too.

actually they can't all have been teenage, but she had 9 children in 11 years. close enough.

I have 4. I always wanted 4 and just went ahead with it because I reasoned if I didn't I would be forever thinking I should have done it. That said, it is hard and yes we had to buy a new car to fit them all in.

The age difference between mine is a bit bigger though. When ds3 was born, ds1 was 6.8 yrs, ds2 was 5.2 yrs and dd was 2.11 yrs. I don't know if that makes it esier or harder. On the one hand, two of mine were already at school by the time No 4 was born, but then, to counter that, the time I have spent at home with them has really gone on too long for my liking. I have been a SAHM for 9.5 years and if I wait until ds3 goes to school before getting a job, I have another 2 years to wait. So if you really want this, I would say, go for it and get it over and done with quickly so they are all quite close in age and enjoy each other and so that you can get on with other things you want to do.

Go with your gut feeling, I have 3 - 11, 9 and 7 and am currently pregant with number 4 - remember everything passes!

HI i am pregnant with our fourth we already have dd6, ds5 & ds3. I really wanted 4 as with 3 i always feel that 1 is left out & you get middle child syndrome. I know it will be hard work but very rewarding, our little girl is very keen to help!

have 4 kids - 8,4,2yrs & 3 wks. it's busy & I have no time to myself!! happy though. go with how you feel - if you would like another baby go for it.

I love it. Complete symmetry. There's not gap around the dinner table and they can pair off and play together. You have a proper gang to take places.

You might need a bigger car though.

We bought an old Toyota Townace 8 seater for a grand and it's grand!

didn't need any equipment or clothes (sister in laws gave loads) but needed a car to fit 4 kids!! major expense!!

They may be expensive but (and this is what swayed me when I was thinking about it and having a chat with another woman) the greatest gift you can give a child is a sibling.

hi. got 4 kids.
2 boys 2 girls..
ages 10 , 7, 3 and 16 months.
hard work but rewarding..
last 2 age gap was hard work but easier now ds2 is growing up...yes u need a big car/mpv. but you dont have to pay loads for one.
nust say though had spd with all and was especially bad in my last pregnancy.
i am one of 4 and it is great to see them all together and happy