People touching your bump. Freak you out or make you feel good?

[LexieH]

Ok so this weekend it happened for the first time. My father in law asked if he could put his hand on my very small (14 week) bump and before i could answer his hand was on me.

I actually flinched as he came towards me. It felt weird. I've always though I'd be such a natural at being pregnant and enjoy every aspect. I thought i'd be so proud of the bump and be happy about people wanting to touch it and me.

So my flinch and reaction took me a little by surprise. I am now dreading the next time someone does it. I actually don't think I like it.

What is really strange is when friends and other people before me were pregnant I would ALWAYS want to touch their bump and be completely in awe of it. I would always ask first of course but never stopped to think if it would be weird for them.

Does anyone else feel the same? Or did anyone else feel like this at the beginning and then get used to people wanting to touch their bump and be ok with it?

I didnt mind people I usually let touch me ouch my bump, but it still felt weird I assume because the skin is all stretched and itchy it can be sensitive and even touch you dont mind mentaly can feel uncomfortable physically.

Freaks me out completely, but then I'd never do it to anyone else. If they ask, I say no. If they don't ask, I visibly flinch, then touch their stomach back. I can't help it.
A friend said to me the other day "Oh, you're getting big!" I replied "So are you." (She's not pregnant.
Just because my body host for another person does not mean people can touch me all the time when they wouldn't otherwise. It's weird and creepy. The worst is when it is people you've never even met! Ugh!

I hated it too. I didn't mind DH touching it of course but anyone else, it just felt so intrusive!

You wouldn't pat a non-pg stomach normally, so why do people think they have a right to pat a pg one??

It's freaks me out too, even after 3 times, I don't mind too much when people ask at least you can
Prepare but when people just start groping your stomach I hate it!

It freaked me out first time around (apart from my Dad, when I was about 32 weeks, asked very gingerly if he could touch it when it was leaping about all over the place, as he lives in France and only saw me with a bump once, I didn't mind) - second time around, it almost freaks me out more when people ask as their hand is approaching - how do I say no (is what I feel internally, last time I actually slapped someone's hand away as they did that ); whereas some of DD's friends' mums have touched it and, as they're warm touchy types anyway, it didn't feel weird.

It's your body, your right to say who can touch - sometimes DH wants to touch bump when it's all sore and sensitive and I'd rather be left alone - different horses for different courses!

I found it a bit odd when the local butcher came round the meat counter for a good feel! But it hasn't happened too much really, I do think when your pregnant its like your body isn't really yours any more.

I'm 36 weeks and look like I'm smuggling a basket ball up my top! I'm not that surprised when people want to check that its real!

I am really surprised at how much I hate it. Love hubby touching it; hate anyone else doing it (even family). I have absolutely no idea why! My MIL does it and even though I know she's only trying to be nice I just don't enjoy it at all. If you ask someone if they want a feel it's different, but when someone just does it, it really grates on me.

thanks everyone, i read your answers aloud to my husband yesterday and he laughed so much at the local butcher story bluebeach! it's SO bizarre that people think they can just touch you like that! i am dreading it happening again and i think i might have to make some kind of public statement saying i do not want to be touched!

Allatsea - I don't think i'd like my family touching me either.. even though we are SO close, it's one thing when the baby starts kicking and there is a reason for them to feel it but until then it's just weird.

i just feel so guilty about all the pregnant ladies tummies i've had a feel of in the past they must have hated it!

Anyway thanks all :) x

Hate men doing it
Don't mind v good friends/sister/mother etc doing it if they ask first (actually sister mother probably didn't need to ask first)

But v tempting to do it to others lovely bumps! Have to stop myself

i really hate! i do not let anyone except my mom and husband touch it. i went to a new yoga class last week and when i was lying down in relaxation the teacher started rubbing my tummy from both sides. i was so agry, i wanted to punch her really hard. some people have no common sense.

I'm 20 weeks today & unintentionally flinch when people try to touch my bump without asking. I absolutely love DP doing it though.

I hated it. Anyone other than DH I visibly flinched and asked them not to do it again.

I also hate people touching me, but then I am not a touchy person anyway. I do like it when DH touches it but that is it!

I'm almost 19 weeks and haven't had it happen a lot yet.

So far it's only been family (IL) that I would hug and touch at any time anyway, so I don't mind at all (also without asking). I think it would be awkward if I wasn't on that level of familiarity with someone though. I do love my bump however and if someone would ask I might not particularly mind.

hated it. didn't happen very much - as soon as anyone came near my stomach with their hands at the ready I'd announce "there will be no touching of the stomach" and fold my arms in front me. occasionally someone surprised me, but it usually worked

Hate it. Can someone tell me under what other circumstances virtual strangers feel it's OK to come up to you and run their hands over you?! Do it right back to them! If they object, point out that it didn't exactly thrill you!

I think the guidelines of what is acceptable get blurred during PG, the amount of people who have asked me "Was it planned?" is ridiculous - erm, hello... none of your business!? (It wasn't but that's besides the point).

The first person other than DP to touch the bump was DP's Station Manager (he's a firefighter), I was only 11 weeks at the time so didn't even have a bump by then! I found it really bizarre, him & DP aren't close - if anything they lock horns quite regularly!

I hate the idea of it.

I said this at lunch with my close work mates and they were really taken aback at how I said I hated the idea. To be honest close mates and family I wouldn't mind but I would rather they asked first and not this early on (I am 17 weeks with a small bump) once bubs started moving and could be felt from outside I would prob let them.

However one of my fairly close work mates suddenly said whilst I was stood mid office today that she just wanted to stare at me and kept coming up and staring at me stooping and staring just odd. I hated it. I mean really hated it. I didn't like the way people think they can intrude in your way like that. I covered up with my notebook moaned explained that if just one of them touched my bump I would not be held accountable for my actions and then walked off. It was a group of people surrounding me she knew i would not want to be so exposed in front of. It's not like u r suddenly a free for all!! Am finding men deal with it better than women at the moment.

Ps love when hubby does it tho. It all feels more real when he does. I like the bonding side of it.

I used to hate this, with close friends or my mum, fine. But my in laws no! I got a t shirt with 'don't touch the bump' on it and wore it to FIL's. He still took no notice! Mind you this is the bloke that when my feet ballooned up said let me rub them for you. I couldn't get away due to said bump. Had to sit there with him massaging me telling me to relax and enjoy it!!

Vomit.

Ha ha vomit! That made me giggle TheDoctosWife46.

I do hope I don't feel this way when bump is a baby...kind of already dreading other people holding the baby: how utterly absurd and awful of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A baby is a human not an object. Shame on me....

I hate it and it really stresses me out, feeling like I have to protect my bump from wandering hands. I know other people who don't mind it but I like my personal space.

My mum even did it, after asking, BUT I'd said no! I pushed her hand away and even resorted to singing a primary school song at her ("my body's nobody's body but mine...") - which she taught me as a child! I think she got the point, but she's still disappointed...

Don't mind if I know them well, but if they are strangers it's just weird.

Once my MIL's (now ex) boyfriend came up behind me (I didn't see him coming) and put both arms around me from behind for a full body hug and belly rub. I yelled and jumped as I found that tooo freaky!!

Its never happened to me! I'm pregnant with DC3 too (32 weeks). I must send out.......
DON'T TOUCH MY BUMP VIBES.

This thread has me freaked out. I am very private and hate being touched; the kissy-kissy 'hullo ritual' with dh's family always gets me worked up enough as it is. I'm very early and no one knows that I'm pg yet - the idea that people will start to touch me makes me feel physically sick. Is this really common? I mentioned the thread to DH last night and he was appalled that people do this. And I specifically asked him if his parents would try it, or his other family members - because, I can tell you that that would make me throw up and probably cause a big row between me and dh afterwards. He says not, but FIL has zero boundaries and loves to humiliate people in public so I'm not so sure. Strangers I think I can cope with - a swift right hook and some swear words should do it; but friends and family ... god, how awkward ... how do I get control of this before it happens. Incidentally, a pg cousin once asked me if I wanted to touch her bump when her baby was moving, and I declined ... I am not comfortable with that level of intimacy with people I am not intimate with!