Am I being out of order?

[swannny]

I'm in pieces at the moment. My Mum has been in Cyprus pretty much since the beginning of my pregnancy. She came home in November, but went back in December as her Mum died. She was meant to be back in time for new year but she didn't come back and is still there.

Am I being out of order to want her to come home? This is my first pregnancy and I always expected her to be there and go through this with me.

I've begged her and all she says to me is that she needs a rest. I'm 22 weeks tomorrow and she's only been here for 3 or 4 weeks of it :(

What could she do for you if she were here?

Hi Swanny i found the 22 weeks stage really hard. So don't beat yourself up to much. It does get better.

Sadly my Mum has passed away (i'm currently 37 weeks) I'm finding it tough, but please remember that you can pick up the phone, skype and email her etc. And when you need her she will be there, you have a while left before baby arrives. I'd enjoy this time ..no doubt before long, she's be back and driving you crazy!!

Also your Mum has just lost her own mother, and no doubt needs some time to adjust and sort things out in Cyprus. I'm sure she will be back and fighting fit soon, but in the mean time give her a bit of time to get used to life without her Mummy.

I'm sorry to hear that highlandgirl - It just upsets me that she's been on at me for years to have a baby and now that I am, she doesn't seem to care. She's on messenger telling me how much she's enjoying it over there... I'm not even sure she's going to come back at this rate :( I don't mean to sound selfish, but I hear how everyone elses Mum is being so supportive and stuff and it just breaks my heart that mine doesn't seem to care.

Hi there, I guess everyone is different and has different expectations of support. My Mum lives in Canada and has not been over as yet. She is due to fly in 5 days before my EDD. I am currently 33 weeks.
I'm cool with that. The thing that does upset me is my partner not being supportive enough.
Have you got good support from the babies father?

YogaMummy2B I think if she lived there, my attitude would be different. It's the fact that she won't come home that bothers me.

My husband has been amazing, as has my Dad - But I really wanted to share this experience with her :(

I agree with yogamummy, that everyone is different and has different expectations of support. My mother is in Australia at the minute - she went when I was about 8 weeks pregnant and Im 23 +2 now.

Personally, I miss her terribly, I've had a bad year or so and would love to have her around that said, I wouldnt ask her to come home and am happy shes off enjoying herself while she can. I'd sort of be of the mind that its not her responsibility to be here at the minute - am big and bold now . Also, what would you want her to do if she was here?

Meant to say - that said, just because others feel differently, its not unreasonable for you to feel this way. I remember when I had a miscarraige my mother happened to be in Australia at that time too and despite being married and a mother myself all I wanted was my mum!!!