Had a wobbly moment last night..:(

[LovelyKatie]

Hi im 35+2.

Last night for the first time in all of this I just felt really upset about the impending motherhood.

I was lying in bed feeling really rotten crying lots and imagining what was going to become of me.

highlights of my day including the baby being sick on me or something. I love my job and Ill miss it lots and I am so scared I wont be able to do it or know what to do. This is my first baby and im 21 in 2 weeks.

my OH was none the wiser snoring his head off but its ok for him because he will still leave for work every morning and come home at 6 and I dont think he even realises how much his life will change either.

I just started thinking of how i only ever needed to look after myself and holidays and nights out. but last night i felt daunted and worried about EVERYTHING.

Just need a bit of reassurance I guess :(

xx

it's hormones! well, partly hormones and party just general realisation of what a HUGE thing motherhood is

and yeh, you have days where the highlight is the baby being sick on you and daytime tv

but most of the time it's jusxt overwhelmingly fantastic
babies are just fabulous and you will love your little one so much that nothing much will really seem to matter

DO talk to your otherhalf about how you're feeling though, if you haven't already, cos he is probably feeling the same and you'll both feel better for talking to each other about it

No matter what age you are, with your first you panic over everything and worry you're failing all the time (I do anyway).

Babies don't have high expectations - we put them on ourselves. Just remember to enjoy your baby and some people actually struggle with that stage. My dd is now 3 and imo so much more fun than a new born. After maternity leave, you can go back to the job you love.

I think we all get wobbles every now and then. dd had terrible colic and now I'm pg with dc#2 I'm worried this one will cry as much but I'll have a 3-year-old to deal with too so can't have a lie in if baby's been up all night. But then I remember that the sleepless nights don't last and how much I love dd.

Now I'm worried I won't love the next one as much or will accidentally push dd1 away to care for dd2 etc. dd1 is soooo perfect, dc2 is bound to be disabled... we couldn't be so lucky twice. Oh dear, the list of unreasonable thoughts goes on.

I'm not trying to scare you, just make you realise you are normal. I love my life - without children is somehow seems pointless. I've never laughed more than I since dd was born.

Take care and smile.

Hi Katie, I can't reassure you about how things will be as I'm still pregnant but the wobbly moments have happened to me too! I love my work and my independence and even though this LO is very much wanted and planned, I am fully aware and quite scared of the impending changes to our lives :) Friends who have kids reassured me it's OK to feel like this and it does get better. Perhaps you could talk to a trusted friend or family?

Every first timer feels like this at some stage during their pregnancy, regardless of their age or situation, I was 26 when pregnant with my first and at 7 months I freaked out about the labour, would I cope, etc.
I also had a freak attack after baby was born and DH left for the night and I realised that I was solely responsible for this tiny baby and I remember asking the mw "what will I do if she cries?"

As for how you'll cope with baby all day my advice is to find out what is around your area in terms of mother/toddler groups and get out and about as much as possible, you'll get cabin fever if your stuck in the house all day so keep busy, keep in touch with your friends and work collegues and you'll keep a hold of your sanity for much longer!