Accuracy of 22 wk ultrasound at determining sex?

[jedsmum]

I've just had my second scan (at 21 weeks and 2 days) and found out that my baby is a boy. I already have a DS age 3 who I Iove dearly, but I had totally set my heart on having a girl. This pregnancy has been so different to my first, I'd convinced myself I was expecting a DD: last time I felt fantastic, looked great, didn't feel sick etc - this time I feel rubbish, look crap and felt nauseous all day long until 16 weeks.

When the scanner told us it was another boy I burst into tears! Now feel really guilty about feeling that way, and coming to terms with the idea of another boy. Of course, I'll love him loads when he comes out. But just wondered how accurate scans are at telling sex? He pointed out what looked very much like boys bits and seemed totally certain - am I deluding myself that it might be a girl after all?

I'm afraid to say that I would be more inclined to believe the scan than how you've been feeling. In my mind there are so many different factors that effect your body (age, diet, just basic hormones changing as you get older) that any one of those could be the change in your body's reaction to pregnancy.

Yes, the scans can be wrong, but it is a much smaller chance I would say.

I wish there was something more warm and fuzzy I could say.

Jedsmum - I have a ds. When I got pg again I felt like you about a girl. There are no girls on either side of our families for 27 years and DH's Mum & Dad already had 4 grandsons. I felt SO much yearning for a girl that it sickened me. At first I hated myself for it. Afterall I was just so worried about the baby being okay, how could I feel so much disappointment if I had another son???

I was so frightened of the midwife saying "it's a boy!" and me just being devastated.

BUT as the pregnancy progressed I really bonded with my baby. We couldn't find out the sex due to the baby's position even though I was desperate to know. I wanted time to get used to the idea of another boy.

By the time I got to about 32 weeks it really had blended into insignificance for me. I actually resigned myself to the fact that it was a boy and prepared for that. When the baby was born I didn't even look at the sex, I was just mesmerised by my wee bundle . Then the midwife said "Oh its a girl!!".

DH and I burst into tears! But I can honestly say that until she announced it I hadn't even thought about the sex. You have time to get used to the idea and probably by the time your wee boy is born you'll have forgotten all your worries!

When they make errors, it's generally thinking a boy is a girl, not vice versa.

Give yourself time to grieve. You've lost the daughter you thought you were having. It's perfectly understandable that you're upset.

By the time your baby boy shows up, you'll be ready and happy to see him.

i would definetely believe the scan. i too had very different pregnancys with my two children but had 2 dds, i think the boys bits are a lot more obvious and easy to see. i've only heard of 1 case to be wrong and they'd told her it was a girl as they couldn't see his willy, it seemed to be hiding and he's about 3 now, he looked lovely in all the pink though LOL
don't feel guilty about your reaction, if everyone is honest, you'd find that pretty common. if the scan had told me dd2 was a boy, i think i would of reacted the same as i was convinced she was a girl, and had my heart set.
Congratulations on your pregnancy,and i hope the rest is stress free for you xxx

I don't think they tell you unless they are really sure. When I had a scan at 21 weeks even I could see ds2's bits - it was very obvious. However, with ds1 they weren't sure (he was being shy) and so wouldn't tell us either way. I'm delighted to be having another ds but I do understand the dd thing. I did actually go through a bit of grieving for the dd I'll never have (there's no way I'm having any more!) and felt much better for it.

Good luck.

Hate to tell you but I know from doctors that is very hard to get it wrong when saying it is a boy. If they can see his bits, he is a boy.

Occasionally they get it wrong when they predict a girl because they think they can't see the boy's parts so they say it is a girl, but sometimes the boy's parts are simply hiding IYSWIM.

Funny how we react differently. When I was told (at a similar stage to you) that my second child was a boy, having already had ds1, I was overjoyed. I drove home saying repeatedly to myself "It's a boy! It's a boy!" I never really cared if I had a girl TBH (which sounds awful but is the truth). But then I went on to have a girl later and I have to say, they are very different to boys and a joy in their own right. perhaps you will have to try for a third!

Back in 1956 my gran gave birth to a son, and she then beleived she would have a daughter next, she knitted for 6months solid all pinks would you beleive, and when her next child was born in 1958 (a son) she hadn't noticed sex of baby until her mother said oh its a boy, my gran burst into tears, my uncle was then dressed for 6m in pink cardigans, anyway she wasn't as naive when it came to her third(my mother) in 1960 she had knitted yellow and whites. What I would say is you and your hubby decided to have another baby, a baby to love and care for and a sibling for your ds, you will absolutely adore your new son when he is born and you will have forgotten about even thinking of the baby as a girl, well until you plan your next that is!

jedsmum, you have my sympathy because I felt the same - 1st baby was a boy so I was really hoping for a girl second time around. Second pg was very different to the first so had high hopes of it being a girl. But found out at 20 week scan it was another boy. I was so upset, but by the time I gave birth felt a lot better about it and now he is here I adore him.

I would say, just ignore anyone who says `It still might be a girl' because it's extremely unlikely. You need to come to terms with it being a boy.

Good luck.

Am now preg with DS2, and felt the same as all of you at the scan - a sadness at the little girl that I won't have (this time ). Think that it's totally natural to feel like you do - I had tears in my eyes in the scan, and the doctor said 'next time'! Think it is a very emotional time anyway, and tbh, the feelings you are having will fade by the time you get to the end (I'm 35 weeks). Am now just sooo excited about my houseful of boys who are going to love me for all of my life, even when I'm old and ugly. Boys are great!

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

They are very accurate. If he saw a willy, he saw a willy IMO.
You'll feel differently about your lovely baby when he's born, I'm sure.
And just think how close brothers can be - imagine them down the pub together in 18 years time, or playing sports together. And you will have your handsome boys to take you out and spoil their ma.

With my first baby i had a scan at 22 weeks and they told me i was having a little girl so i went out and bought pretty pink dresses... did the room pink... chose a name for my daughter and had lovely dreams about plaiting hair and baking cakes...

after a two hour labour i was the proud mom of... a son!!

there was a woman on the ward with me who had been told she was going to have a little boy.... her daughter was beautiful

we didnt ask when i was pregnant with ds2.

I have to say, I have a ds and when I found out dd was in fact a dd (at the 20 week scan) I was absolutely delighted, but also sad because my ds wouldn't have a brother. I agree that it is natural to feel sad about the baby you aren't having as well as happy about the one you are.
I even felt sad when I named my dd as I had to say goodbye to my imaginary Viola, Nina, Edith and Angelica.

Jedsmum, I felt exactly the same as you when I discovered that DS2 was a boy when I saw boy bits at a 37 week growth scan. I too had convinced myself the baby was a girl and I was gutted.

Needless to say, he turned out to be the cutest, cheekiest, most infuriating child in the world and I love him to bits. I did feel guilty for being so upset that he was a boy as, having "met" him, I felt disloyal that I'd ever felt disloyal.

If they say it's a boy, they are unlikely to be wrong. It does happen but as others have said, they are more usually right when they say it's a boy than when they predict a girl.

Thanks so much everyone for your kind messages. I have totally accepted that I'm having another boy, and now looking forward to it. I'm actually glad that I found out now so I can bond with him while I'm pregnant. And yes, I think that a little brother will be great for my son - me and my brother never got on, whereas my DP and his brother are great mates. Thanks again for all your support.

Good news Jedsmum! Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy, I'm sure it'll just fly in!

Names yet???

My partner and I had a 4d scan and I really really wanted a girl so was really pleased when the sonographer told us it was a little girl but now Im really scared its going to be a boy! (im 34wks). My partner cant understand the need a woman has to have a girl - I just know ill be devastated if it comes out a boy so at least you are planning for "worst case scenario" - my partners mum has 3 boys and was told her 3rd was definately a girl! imagine how she felt!!

They can often see "girl bits" (a sort of hamburger shape, I'm told), and if the sonographer was sure it's a girl, it probably is one.

Best to be prepared for it being wrong, though. I had boys both times, knew they were boys before any scans, all scans confirmed they were boys. But I still tried to remember that it could be wrong.

jedsmum I could have written exactly same as you. My second pregnancy was completely different. I too cried at scan and felt bloody guilty I can tell you. ds2 is now 6m old and gorgeous and completely loved. I am still in a strange way griving for my never to exist daughter but would not swap my sons. A lot of women are very judgmental about this one but you just can't help how you feel IME.

The pont that some people miss is thats its perfectly possible to feel disappointment and grief and yet still be aware how lucky you are and love your baby to bits. I know if I had a third boy I would love him just as much but the desire for a daughter would still be there. This seems to be a much discussed topic and brings out a few strong feelings.Generally it seems to be much more common for women to long for a girl than the other way round so maybe its a basic biological urge to have a daughter? If it was men discussing it perhaps it would be the other way round?

all men seem to want a boy but when we found out it was a girl the whole "daddy's girl" thing comes into play! i think its because a girl will be with you for life but once a boy is married they tend to forget about their poor parents! also, you want that mum-daughter bond you see on tv. I think once you actually have the baby the sex becomes a lot less important because they become a person!