Has anyone been pregnant with a toddler?

[MrsVidic]

does anyone have advice on how to entertain a toddler while preg? How to deal with tantrums? How to physically carry them when they refuse a pram etc? I am hoping to be proactive on this as i'm only 14 weeks and dd is 18 months but still struggling. I work part time so at least i get a break, but wondered if anyone has found a way to excel :-) oh and i.ve just limited tv to 2 hours a day as i don.t want to rely on it x

Mums and tots groups! Keep yourself out of the house and entertained as much as possible, walking, the park, fresh air! Tire little one out and keep the brain active will hopefully limit the tantrums and your also spending quality time with them without shouting etc. My two are only 15 months a part so it wasn't as bad for me as my first was very little still! But it is just a phase that won't last long!!! Busy busy busy!!

Oh boy , good luck!

I have a 18 month age gap between my two children , and I found it very very hard.
But think of it like this you will get all the "baby" stuff out of the way all in one go (well sort of)

As for entertainment .... arts and crafts were always the best for us , you get to sit down and kinda relax and spend time with your child.
Play areas , bring a friend so you can have a chat and your child can let off some much need steam!!

Dont stress to much about the tv thing, I let me kids watch tv somedays ALL day, and to tell the truth I only felt guilty because of how "others" perceived that to mean I was a bad mother!!

Would there be room? How would you push it out?

Acanthus I read it the same way! I thought.... Oh dear someone is really confused or playing a funny joke, so came to check it out!

Very funny Acanthus, thank you for the first laugh in my very shitty day!

Don't worry, it's manageable... lots of us have been there and survived and the toddlers in question weren't too hard done by

I have an 18 month gap and a 2.5 year gap and they were tough, although tbh I found the early parts of the pregnancies the worse at I was so tired and in one case violantly ill. Once I got to 15+ weeks it was better.

Toddlers adapt quickly, once it becomes difficult to carry them you just say no, explain it's too difficult with a baby in your belly and distract them with something else (easier with some kids than others)

Lots of outside stuff, lots of quiet, non messy activites and most importantly.... NO MOMMY GUILT!

Tee hee!

Now, to actually help the OP -

My two children are 23 months apart in age. The first few months with both are hard. The pregnancy I didn't find a problem. Just accept that for the first six months you will do very little except look after the kids. After that there are advantages - similar stages and interests. And they'll play together, when they're not bickering!

thanks, i read it back and did think it sounded wrong lol. We have been doing crafts and i will begin saying no to carrying, my back is really sore

I've got three under five so well versed in this area You have to let standards slip, bit of Cbeebies does no harm plus they love being helpful so distract and help by getting them to help you unpack shopping/put shopping in trolley/dust and so on. Get a Buggyboard for pram refusals, also we have one of those shark backpacks with a lead and that helps too. Attend lots of groups to help burn of some energy.

And finally accept ANY help offered!

If all else fails play doctors and patients with you being the patient on the sofa

I've got a 2-year gap between my 2.

Saying no to carrying was tricky with a very clingy, huggy toddler, but we just had to stop it completely explaining that mummy's tummy couldn't take carrying. Distracting never worked with mine, but we had a lot of sit-down hugs instead.

Story-reading, lots of it, worked with us. Dd1 loved listening to stories, it's non-physical and relaxing.

And toddler groups - these helped in lots of ways. One being that because some of the other toddlers had newborn siblings who would come along, dd saw the concept of siblings in action and was better prepared.

Congratulations by the way!

I am still lifting DD (18mo) at 39 weeks pregnant e.g. into the cot, highchair, carrying up the stairs etc but I couldn't carry her any distance without hurting my back from 4 or 5 months so she just has to go in the buggy and I strap her in forcibly if I have to. She is normally ok once we're moving anyway.

I also limit TV so we go out a lot (at least once a day, sometimes twice) and read books and play with toys and go in the garden. I have a nap when she sleeps at lunchtime and don't worry too much about housework as long as we have clean clothes and plates.

You should start to feel less tired soon and the rest of the pregnancy won't be as bad as the first trimester (at least mine hasn't been)

Congratulations Mrs.V! I am 12 weeks with DC#2 and I have an 18 month old girl. I just do what I can. I usually feel pretty good until 2pm. So I do as much fun stuff with her in the morning. Then, if I need to lay on the sofa in front of the TV for an hour or so in the afternoon I don't feel bad. We go to play dates as much as possible and I try to give her at least 45 minutes of outdoor time when the weather allows. I also second Restrainedrabbit on getting DC#1 to help with housework. I also give her pots and wooden spoons to play with so she can cook with me in the kitchen. Good luck, and cut yourself some slack.

Glad I'm not the only one who read the thread title and nearly choked on my tea! Ouch! Anyway, yes am 5 months gone with DC2 and DS is 18months. It is hard cos he still won't walk properly outside so I have to carry him in and out of the car etc. He still has a big nap once a day which helps. Other than that, lots of toys on the floor so he can amuse himself and a couple of groups.

Well, DS2 was 9lb 12ozs... does that count as a toddler?

Seriously, I am watching this thread as I'm in early pregnancy (8 weeks) and have a 10month old ds (the 9lb 12oz-er, infact!). He's been walking for some time, but not really a 'toddler' in the traditional sense but, yes, I'm at a loss as to what I can do with him when I'm feeling particularly grotty (like today... ugh).

Have to admit, the play pen and cbeebies have been my helpers today (in the absence of actual real, live helpers). As much as I feel the guilt creeping in around the edges, I have to push it away - is it really so awful in the scheme of things, to get us through a few difficult weeks or months?

OMG I'm finding it tricky! I'm 29 wks and DC1 has just turned into a terrible 2 yr old!

I have started taking the lightweight pushchair just incase there is a tantrum, but even then I have to lift and strap him in. Reigns help but not if a child refuses to walk or thinks it's a bungee cord!

Craft stuff /playdoh is pretty good. I have also found a carrot and grater can occupy a toddler for 20 mins and a tin and a can opener!

I go to lots of groups which are good, but I am nervous of him hurting another child as he is quite boistrous, but I am trying to hold back and sort it out when it all kicks off. I know with DC2 on the scene there is no-way I will be able to follow DC1 around and play with him like I do now.

This week he had a major tantrum at the swimming pool, ran into the male toilets and started banging his head on the wall. I had to run after him and carry him over a wet floor. It is sooo difficult. I'm just avoiding those sort of places now!

My DS was 15 months when I had twin girls so I know what it can be like, unfortunately I had a bad pregnancy though and had SPD so couldnt get out and about as dont drive, we relied on making things (seriously boxes can make rockets and all sorts!!) painting, making cards instead of buying them, cooking, lots of things to do. DS is now 3 and the twins are 2 and Im 26 weeks pregnant with more twins so its harder this time and im having an even worse pregnancy!

Softplay and Zoo (we got annual passes) - preferably with friend. At both places toddlers can run around in safety burning off energy!

I know I might get told off for saying this... but I just carried on lifting and carrying DS1 when pregnant.

I had no choice really, as he couldn't yet walk for the first 5 months of my pregnancy. Granted, there's only a 20 month age gap, but he was a big, tall, boy....

Buggy board has been a lifesaver, as has a sling.

Also stickers and pens. He can play with those for hours with minimal (physical) input from me and very little 'mess'.

picc... dd only learned to wal when I was 5/6 month pregnant with ds1 so I was carrying her until close to the end. She was only 18 months when ds1 was born though and weighed 10kgs so not a massive strain

ds1 was 2.5 when ds2 was born and was a huge child... there was no way i could have lifted him even if i'd wanted to, I was in physio for my back and SPD.

It depends on the child, the mother and the pregnancy

yep... sorry :)
i know it's not always possible and know it's not exactly advisable anyway

i just know this was something i really worried about at the start, and it actually made me relax a bit to read on here that people had managed to just carry on lifting sometimes

but... yes... best not to rely on or expect it!

I'm 34 weeks and still lifting my 2yr DS, it's not been a problem.

We've got our DS into a toddler bed so no lifting over the sides of the cot.

I always take the buggy out and when he asks to be carried I tell him he can either walk or get in the buggy.

I make sure I walk him every day somewhere to get him out of the house and burn off some energy which really reduces his tantrums.

We also do loads of arts and crafts and baking. I find if he's distracted and doing something it keeps him from tantruming.

If they are still having a nap make sure you sleep when they do, it's the only way I've got through the last few weeks.

I was expecting it to be worse than it has been, it might be fine so don't worry.

i've had my pelvis realigned 5 times already during this pregnancy (no problems first time around) with inevitable lifting. You can't avoid it entirely but can minimise it.

I have taken to getting toys to ask toddler (2.5 yrs) to do things like go upstairs (he listens to them more than me!)

Take whatever shortcuts you can, without guilt, it's such a difficult time. There's plenty of time for all the 'good mummy' stuff when things get a bit easier.

Soft play and friends' houses worked best for us as you get to relax a bit then.

And training your child and partner to pick things up off the floor themselves would be brilliant, but I have to admit I never managed that one.

There was 2 years between my first two, and 18 months between my second two, so I had three in very quick succession. I think the earlier months were the hardest, and found it hard changing nappies on the floor, avoiding being kicked and that sort of thing. I had to keep lifting and carrying to a certain extent, and saw my chiropractor fairly regularly. She advised that if I couldn't not lift my son, I should hold him centrally rather than on one hip, which is easier said than done with a large bump!! Dc#3 was born four months ago, and my middle one has grown up a lot in those few months, now walking upstairs and downstairs, not needing lifting into highchair etc. Things do change very quickly, and they do grow up fast. All I can say is rest when you can. Good luck!