Taking the plunge...

[Capreece]

New county, new job for hubby, entirely new life with new (better) prospects, but things are financially still pretty tight atm, esp since I am having trouble finding a job (probably due to the very fact that I'm married and in my late twenties). Am currently tossing the job vs. baby plans in the air and waiting to see what comes down face up...

How did you decide to take the plunge and try? Was it an easy decision? How crucial was the financial aspect? And to those who have smalls already - exactly how expensive is a baby in the first year? I find it hard to believe the cost projections I've seen in the media of late.

I don't think there's ever "good" time to have a baby - life gets in the way! If you're going to do it sometime it might as well be now... :)

Oh, and we have been given tons of baby equipment by friends and family, so if you're not too choosy about having the latest designs then you may well find you can keep costs pretty low. Childcare is another matter entirely...

Good luck.

Hi Capreece,
when we planned our first baby i was working so to be honest although tight they weren't so tight we couldn't afford a few luxuries iykwim!
And in my opinion, you can always afford a baby..don't know how but you just do. I don't know of anyone having to give their children up because they can't afford them. I'm not saying for one minute that its easy but, you just manage!! there is always such places as ebay and gumtree for clothes and equipment, and family ( however far away!!) usually want to help out!

Firstly... if you don't believe the cost of a baby, make a list of things you need before the baby is born. The basics, the cot, pram, car seat, bedding, clothes etc.. and just check it out. It really does mount up. Though I would say that you don't have to buy all these things new and e-bay saves you a fortune. I'm a spreadsheet addict and have done some projections and although the ones quoted in the media are a little extensive the real costs are still high - especially if you don't have the luxury of friends or family lending/giving you things.

The rest depends on whether you need to work or if your husband is able to support you so you can be a SAHM. For me this was never an option as I am the main earner so I couldn't consider a baby until I was in a job and worked long enough to be entitled to the whole maternity pay package offered. This still means I can only take 18 weeks but it will work for me.

Last year my mum was getting concerned she was never going to be a grandmother and brought up the subject of children with me (she has 4 children, eldest-30 and gay, 2nd-single and given up with relationships, 3rd - me and 4th - only 20 and has bad taste in men). I told her I couldn't afford it but would like a family one day. She then told me that nobody can ever afford a family on paper but somehow you always manage. This was the kick I needed to start thinking about it seriously and go for it even though everything isn't financially perfect.

in the first year i would say costs are minimal actually.

there is a lot of stuff that you can buy, but very little that you actually need.

if you're happy with second hand then scour car boot sales etc.
also, you'll get lots of presents from people, and you could ask for vouchers to use towards things that need to be bought new such as car seat and cot mattress

Thank you for such prompt replies. These are kind of the lines I was thinking along, I must admit. I already have a friend offering all her 1 year old's clothes (luckily I'm not that bothered about putting a potential girl into little 'boy' clothes) and it would be the first of its generation born to my side of the family, so would probably have some generosity from my rellies, even if hubby's aren't that bothered :-)

I suppose it's just one of those things that once you start down the road you can't go back and change your mind - more so than anything else I've ever done I think. That's probably why I'm dithering. Oh well. Start the folic acid and freecycle scouting and see what happens I guess :-)

Anyone got any non-baby-related ways to meet some people in this new area? I'm trying a couple of things (knitting group, W.I.) but am open to suggestions...