When do you say you're pregnant?

[wagon]

I've told my mum and my sister that I'm 5 weeks and I'm gagging to tell everyone but I know you're supposed to wait until 12 weeks. Does everyone wait that long?

Congratulations!

I am waiting this time. Sadly I'd told family last time and I lost the baby at ten weeks. I have told my sister only this time as she understands what I'm going through but will wait til twelve weeks to tell rest if our families and possibly sixteen to tell work.

I think you must do what you feel comfortable with.

The first time I conceived I told everyone immediately, only to lose the baby at 9 weeks.

With DD I waited until 20 weeks.
With DS I waited until 12 weeks.

We waited but I told my mum just under 5 weeks incase anything went wrong and I needed her support. She then told my sister and stepdad cause she kept acting strange and they were worried. DH told his parents and brother only cause he felt if fair to tell them too. (I didnt want that to be honest as i told purely for emotional support) My dad was told a few weeks later and then everyone else at 13 weeks.

This time around, I told friends at around 8 weeks - I'm not good at secrets - I figured that if anything went wrong then I'd need their support. At around 9 weeks I had a bump and people started noticing anyway.

Ruthchan, I didn't know you lost a baby

I use to work with DH - he announced it to the whole office when I was about 8 weeks. I was . I had already told my family by then.

Congratulations!
This is a difficult one! With my first pregnancy we only told our parents then lost the baby at 12 weeks. It was much harder to tell friends I'd been pregnant then lost, without them even knowing I was pregnant.
This time I've had really really bad morning sickness so I had to tell family and friends (hard to explain months of illness and ignoring everyone otherwise) and even a couple of people at work.

My sister upset me as she gave me a serious telling-off when I said I'd told my line manager (in confidence) at work. 'You aren't supposed to tell anyone until 12 weeks, that's the rules' she said! I needed sick leave and didn't want to lie about why!

First time round I told only family but lost baby at 9 weeks. I told close family only at about 5 weeks.

My 2 nd loss was so sudden I only told close family after it happened.

This time round I told only family again but not all of them. Told parents straight away due to other commitments but then rest of family at 12 weeks, friends I only told this week whcih was 15 weeks.

I am too scared to really and truly properly announce it. I shouldn't be now but I'm 16 weeks but I am still wary!

I'm tin king about putting it as a status this week as I'm sure more people now know but wouldn't ask. I can't really hide it anymore anyway!

You will probably not have any problems mind you I'm just giving my expericne. My rule was to tell the people that I would want to know if I lost the baby again before 12 weeks. After that it didn't really matter if people found out. Once I hit 12 weeks I then wanted to know my downs risk before I told anyone else.

This will be my first child, so exciting!! But a little scary
Congrats!

Hi Portofino

Yes, I lost one, but it was 5 years ago now.
To be honest, after struggling to conceive at all, my sadness at losing it was tempered by relief at having been pregnant at all. :)

congrats
We told everyone as soon as we found out, mainly due to the work I do. Im a gardener so had to tell work as soon as I found out as my work is too dangerous for baby. Lots of lifting, fumes, chemicals etc.

I sometimes wished we had kept it a secret because I got so fed up in the first few weeks of people telling me what to do because I was pregnant. Telling me stuff I didnt need to think about till I was nearly due. But then again at least I got that over and done with early.

I didn't. With close family (mum + stepdad sister, dad + stepmum) I told them straight away.

Told work collegues at 8 weeks. I figured as I saw them everyday they would figure out my tubby stomach and sickness pretty quickly.

Most people knew at 12 weeks, XP got the DJ to announce it at the pub. But I left it until the 20 week scan to put it on FB.

FWIW I had an early miscarriage at 7 weeks inbetween DC's and had to sit at work going through it on my own and really wish I had told someone that time. I know they would have been lovely to me.

First time round i told my sister at 5 weeks (we are very close) and DP's parents at 10 weeks (it was his Mum's 60th birthday and it seemed like a nice present)! Told everyone else, including my parents, after the 12 week scan.

This time I'm 9 weeks and have only told my boss because she asked me to take over part of her job around the time baby is due! I'm a bit more concerned about something not being right this time - I'm 38, all my friends have had problems concieving or holding on to baby number 2- so we're not telling ANYONE till we've had a scan, bloods and NT result.

Thanks for all your replies. It's a weird one. I had my first nearly 9 years ago - fell pregnant six months after being told I'd have problems conceiving. I told everyone at 6 weeks as soon as I found out. My 2nd, two years later I told everyone as I figured I'd need the support of mates as I don't live close to family. After a horrible divorce I met and tried to have a fling with (now) DP who is 12 years younger than me. 3 years later we are pregnant and Im trying to get him to reign in it in - he wants to scream it from the rooftops! We did the test on his birthday. Best birthday present ever but I am aware it's early days. I'm a stand-up comic so I suppose I could dress like Jo Brand at work for 9 months and no-one would be any the wiser.

I told a few close friends and family when I found out at about 6 weeks, then waited until my dating scan to tell everyone else. My rule was, if anything went wrong then I would want my closest friends to know I had gone through this...so I would tell them for the support. Everyone else could wait until I was sure enough to be able to get excited myself.

I wanted to save my news so I didn't have to put a big BUT at the end eg. I'm pregnant BUT I'm not getting too excited yet because I'm only 6 weeks. It was nice to wait and be able to just say 'Hooray I'm pregnant!' without worrying whether I was jinxing it or not.

Good luck with your pregnancy I'm sure everything will be good, and just look forward to when you are ready to tell everyone. Understand your partner wanted to tell all - I'm sure you do too but there are good reasons to wait that if you explain I'm sure he'll understand x x x I think a lot of people close to you will tend to guess anyway

I'm eight weeks and told no one yet, except DH of course. I'll tell everyone after the first scan.

First time, we told DP's sister, my parents & a few close friends straight away. We told everyone else at 12 weeks, after the scan.

This time, we are 8 weeks & so far have told just 2 friends. Feel like I have heard a lot of unlucky stories lately & don't want to have to untell the world... So waiting until the 12 week scan.

1st time i told everyone straight away well waited 3 days to tell my parents as i was young.
and this time i waited 3 days to tell my parents again as im still quite young, and then close friends but didnt officially announce it till my 20 week scan although quite a few people knew already as my friends are blabber mouths

congratulations :)

I'm only 5 weeks but we have told most of our close friends and both our families- we're all really close so it would be weird not to tell them. Our rule was- anyone who we would tell even if something did go wrong, we've told them. I think it would be worse to have to explain a pregnancy and a miscarriage all at once, to someone who didn't know you were pregnant in the first place.

Just like soudnofherwings, early on we tell any one we would want to know if I had an mc.

I mc'd my first. I had only just told my folks and hadn't told dp's folks. It was very wierd to say "I was pregnant, but I'm not now..." (but even wierder to say nothing at all)

Having an MC is distressing and I know if it happened again I would want to hide from everyone for a while. At least if they knew what was going on I know I'd be left alone.

I planned to wait until 12 weeks (except for telling parents), but have had a few problems and been to hospital so told my line manager making it clear it was in strictest confidence (this was at 5.5weeks ish) She's blabbed and basically announced it to my senior managers and her mates.

Definitely best to keep it in until all ok - going through what I am knowing that everyone knows I'm pg is hard (she didn't tell them about problems so people are saying congrats - 1st time it happened it threw me and I burst into tears... I was 3 hours off going for tests to see if baby was alive!)

I think it's all looking more positive, still annoyed the big announcement was taken away from me. And dh and I just wanted to deal with it on our own without having to send an all users email if everything goes wrong!

I waited till 16 weeks but then I'm slightly paranoid of things going wrong. I guess you just need to tell people when you feel comfortable to do so, there is no right or wrong answer. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope it all goes well.

I told everyone straight away and I'd have no problem telling everyone if I had a mc either. These things happen and I don't know anyone who wouldn't understand or be sympathetic.

I'd rather have people to lean on in circumstances like that than grieve alone, but that's just me.

But I didn't have any choice as I was throwing up every day at 5 weeks and in hospital with hyperemesis at 6 weeks. Couldn't have held out til 12 wks anyway!

i found out at 5 weeks and most people knew within a week! My assistant heard me read the tests results from the toilet (the gasp and jessssssusssss gave it away) and then a few days later was my work party and most people guessed as I wasn't drinking (and I was scared they would spike my drink!) I also had morning sickness start that week so there was no hiding it.

Told our parents straight away and a few very close friends (how can you not tell people?!).

I think most people have guessed - no one has seen me since before Christmas, they know I not been working and constantly ill (very unlike me) and no one has been constantly asking whats wrong (like they normally would)!

Have first scan tomorrow so will then post on fb and then they can all breathe a sigh of relief they can talk about it.

I do worry about something going wrong but I thought I would rather all the people we have told know early in case something does happen, so we can get support/space. Must be nothing worse than having to tell people you lost something they never knew you had

Congratulations!

First pregnancy I told no-one until we miscarried and then told parents and a couple of close friends.

Second pregnancy (this one) I had to tell a few select people at work as morning sickness was so bad and people were getting worried that something was seriously wrong. I've had a difficult pregnancy and am not going properly public until 20 weeks if all's fine then.

I think it depends who you would like the support of if anything goes wrong. If something did go wrong this time, the people that know are probably the people who I would tell anyway for support or work reasons.

x

Hi wagon. Congrats!
My OH was dead against telling people this time - we miscarried last year at 7 weeks and he felt awkward undoing the telling (we had told parents, a few good friends and some of my colleagues). I, on the other hand, found that I needed the support when things went wrong and was glad I had told a people to get that.

But regardless, this time I have told a few select colleagues and friends exactly for the same reason. We'll tell parents this weekend. My OH is in the forces and away at the moment - I also feel I need someone to talk to about my fears and concerns. Otherwise I might go mad!

I am planning to wait to tell anyone else until the scan and until as late as possible with all the randoms at work who are going to try and give me their advice / pry!

Good luck and do what feels right to you!

I'm hoping to tell close people after I've (hopefully!) had a successful 8 week scan. I miscarried at 8ish weeks last year and ended up telling the world and his wife about the miscarriage as I needed all the support I can get, but I don't want to get too many people's hopes up too early this time.

Only thing I would say is that I'd think twice about announcing it on Facebook - so many people have been affected by miscarriage and pregnancy loss that seeing a facebook annoucement and scan pictures as your profile pic has huge potential to upset people without you even knowing it. I figured that I'd see or speak to people that are real-life friends to tell them in person, and couldn't care less if other facebook friends don't know.