stigma

[Claire129]

Hi, I know this may seem like a weird question but does anyone think there is a stigma in having a fourth child at 29, smae partner as other 3 children? I love my kids and hubby to bits and would another baby but worried what my family would think, seems strange but I really want another child with my hubby and cant stop thinking about it.

Hi Claire
Isn't it sad how much we worry about what others think.
I had my 1st at 20 and my 3rd at 26 and like you all with the same partner who I had married at 21. We had a few comments from family about how we would cope but once DC3 arrived everyone fell in love with him.
I am now nearly 35 and we have just decided the time is right to try for #4. Hubby was reluctant at first and a lot of that was down to what people would say, regarding our ages and the age gap between the DC. But sod them I say. Only you know what is right for you and your wee family and if its what you all want then I say go for it.
Life is too short to spend it worrying what others think.

I agree with gizzyboo that you can't plan your life on what others think, saying that when I was announcing I was pregnant with my third (I was 31) I found people reaction very annoying, I got a lot of "oh you'll be busy" instead of congratulations. I'd dread to think what they'd be like if I announced a fourth! Saying that I decided very quickly "sod them" I am completely happy and comfortable with my decision!

I don't think there is or should be any stigma to that its just some people seem too feel 4 kids is "too many" but that is their problem, it's not their life it's yours so if this is what you want then go for it. Maybe just get a few replies ready to any stupid comments you get but no way should you leave doing something you want to do (when there's absolutely nothing wrong with it) just because of what some people will think, whether its family members or not.
Hopefully they will surprise you and just be happy for you without making any remarks or finding it strange

Doesn't seem strange at all; it's lovely that you want another one! Some people just want one, but others want a large family. Took me ages to get started after loads of miscarriages and I'm now pregnant with 3rd at 36. I certainly wouldn't completely rule out No 4, I'm so pleased to be able to actually have babies that I don't want to stop. If you can support and care for them, what else matters? I don't really care what other people think, my family are very supportive and they know that I would consider another- and my eldest isn't 4 yet!

WOW what lovely responses,thank you so much for such lovely replies. I have tears and feel so much better by your comments. I would love a big family and I wouldnt do it unless I thought we could manage and give it as much love as I give my other 3 whom I love unconditionally.

It is so very sad we worry about what others think and as long as my family are happy I know I hsouldnt worry about others coz they have 2 choices I suppose.
Whenever I am feeling scared or worried I am going to read your lovely comments thanks guys you are all my new angels xxxxx

Oh you are most welcome my lovely. I am happy we could help.
Love doesn't get shared out between our babies...it multiplies with each one.

BTW my friend is just turned 30 and is mommy to 6 girls!!
The house is noisy and chaotic most of the at times to say the least but its by far the happiest house I have been to in a long time

Her hubby has just had the snip though

Take care and good luck on your journey x

To be honest, I don't really know what stigma exists as I was in mid early 30s before I was even ready to think about DC1. But think of all the places around the world in which four-child families are the norm, and where all women start having babies at 20! Globally, you will be in very good company, and you sound like a fantastic wife and mother

As long as you have the emotional and financial resources to raise a fourth, then go for it. And you've already done it 3 times so it's not as though people might think you don't know what you're taking on!

Best of luck - enjoy it!