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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Are you finding out if it's a girl or boy beforehand?

21 replies

girlfromdownsouth · 27/01/2011 14:02

Just interested in who is finding out the sex of their unborn child and who isn't and what your reasoning is.

I am not (DC3) as I believe there are so few surprises left in life so would prefer not to know. My sister has 2 DC's and found out beforehand for both of them (1DD and 1DS). She thinks I'm pre-historic for not wanting to know, saying that the technology is there so why not use it? But then she is somewhat of a control freak!

I didn't find out with my other two, but I suppose now having one of each it doesn't matter one way or the other. Perhaps if I had 2DD's or 2DS's it may change how I feel.

I am interested to find out how others view it.

OP posts:

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nannyl · 27/01/2011 14:06

Im going to find out

already have a beautiful pink room (the nursary) and would like to know if it can remain pink!

if i have 2 dc and was pg with dc3 and i already had a boy and girl i might not find out then but want to know now for practicle reasons!

snotdroolanddirtybums · 27/01/2011 14:08

i didnt find out with my first and ill have to admit it was a lovely surprise after all the hard work. i have 3 ds's i found out with my second and third and it was also nice to be able to buy boyish things and think boy names. im going to find out with this one if i can as im just impatient! although people will be assuming i want a girl but i wouldnt mind either way as i think boys are 'easier' and i wouldnt know what to do with a girl! so my reasons for wanting to find out this time is simply impatients!

harrygracejessica · 27/01/2011 14:09

Found out with the first as we were trying to set up home together and buy baby stuff so for money we found out.

2nd time found out it was twins so that was our surprise so we had a private scan at 16 weeks to find out as I needed to know what they were

this time, suprise at 12 weeks was another set of twins so paid at 16 weeks to find out again lol i HAD to know as thought it was 2 boys this time and I was right.

MrsRhettButler · 27/01/2011 14:11

i need to know! i need to buy clothes and i hate beige! dd had her legs closed so we didn't find out until we had another scan at 34 weeks and it was horrible not knowing!

i also need to know what names to start looking at

i'm impatient :)

propercrimbo · 27/01/2011 14:13

Hiya,
We didn't find out with DS and loved it being a surprise.
I thing (imo obviously) it's nice for the dad to have the responsibility of phoning and saying it's a boy/girl, I wanted it to be his 'thing'
We are expecting twins and won't be finding out this time either for the same reason

ecuse · 27/01/2011 14:18

I'm 28 weeks with first and haven't found out because I don't want an avalanche of pink sparkly crap if it turns out to be a little girl!

ecuse · 27/01/2011 14:18

...and I get really irritated with the whole pink for girl/blue for boy thing generally so I have no wish to paint the nursery in one way or the other depending on its gender.

thefurryone · 27/01/2011 14:23

I'm not finding out because I just don't really have any desire to know before I get to finally meet it. I also love all the old wives tales and trying to work out how it can be a boy one week and a girl the next

Haven't bought anything beige or painted anything beige as a result because of this though.

Pesha · 27/01/2011 14:24

I didn't find out with dd and ds1 as the hospital policy at the time was not to tell so I had no choice! It was really nice having the surprise.

Found out with ds2 as I wanted to know if I needed to swap the dc's rooms around and redecorate and didn't want to have to wait and be trying to do it with a baby to look after!

This time I will (hopefully) find out as I want to start buying bits and have plenty of gender neutral clothes and things already, I want to buy girl/boy stuff, including a new pushchair - I'm bored of black/beige! Also if its a girl then we're going to have to think about moving as dd is in a box room and theres no way we'll fit another girl in there.

And I'm really impatient so TBH I'd prob find out anyway without any of the above reasons, if I can know then I want to know!!

propercrimbo · 27/01/2011 14:25

ecuse I'm with you on that, we just went to Ikea and got lots of brightly coloured stuff, suitable for a boy or a girl, not into blue/pink specifics but not beige and bland either

Pesha · 27/01/2011 14:27

Ecuse - You'll still get all the pink sparkly crap if its a girl, you'll just get it later!!

nunnie · 27/01/2011 14:30

I found out with the last two, as DH was there and we decided we wanted to. This time DH is working away and I will attending my scans alone so I won't be finding out, if DH can't know at the same time I don't want to know. That way we both find out together at the birth.

JBrd · 27/01/2011 14:34

I'm not finding out because I want the surprise.
I also enjoy thinking about both boy and girl names, and I also don't want to encourage people to give gender-specific gifts - I hate pink and baby blue!

MrsNoggin · 27/01/2011 14:35

I found out with DD, glad we did - I thought she was a boy!

I would like to this time, partly because I don't like surprises and partly for financial reasons. If it is a boy we'll have to buy a lot more and will need to put more money aside. Knowing my luck legs will be firmly closed!

EauRouge · 27/01/2011 14:40

We didn't find out with DD or with DC2, we like the surprise and I'm another that hates all that gender-specific stuff.

ShowOfHands · 27/01/2011 14:45

You do what's right for you. Generally there are good reasons for both camps, but as an individual/couple you just do what works for you.

People who find out aren't ruining a surprise just as people who wait aren't any less invested.

I don't think it has anything to do with pink/blue (either you go with that divide or you don't) excepting cases where you already have one gender and need to know for practical reasons and everything to do with preference.

Junebugjr · 27/01/2011 16:20

Found out with both of mine. With DD1, mainly as I wanted to shop and do the room out. I like the gender specific stuff so wanted to have fun picking stuff out.

This time round it was more for practical reasons, we were moving and a few cousins of mine are pregnant too, so I needed to know to give dd's pink sparkly crap away, or keep it for the next one.

Having another dd, so worked out well financial wise as I probably would have gone all out on blue stuff for the novelty.

cowboylover · 27/01/2011 16:34

We have found out with our 1st due in May.

We are having a girl and for us it just made it feel more real! We are not getting any gender specific items as I dont like them either but it is helping with the name shortlist.

Misty9 · 27/01/2011 17:17

I'd quite like to know - but OH is adamant he doesn't.... So far I've said we'll leave it as a surprise. Maybe I could secretly bribe the sonographer to accidently tell us at the 20wk scan?!

Tolalola · 27/01/2011 17:26

I'm finding out, I hope at my 20 week scan (next week).

I don't buy into that 'there are so few surprises' thing at all (no offence, OP! :)). I find myself being surprised by things constantly, and this is something I really want to know.

I found out with DS, and it was brilliant not having to call the bump 'it' any more and made both DP and I feel much more connected, somehow.

DS is very very excited about the baby, and I really want to be able to tell him if it's a brother or a sister.

ButterflySally · 27/01/2011 19:45

I have the opposite, OP...My partner and I are planning on finding out at our 20 week scan yet his family keep reminding us they think we are making a huge mistake!

I agree with Tolalola about it not just calling the bump an 'it', I'm looking forward to starting to say 'he' or 'she'(when the ILs aren't around, obviously...) We also just want to know from a practical perspective. And I personally don't get the whole surprise thing.

However, that's just our opinion. There's no right or wrong answer for this question. Your reasons for NOT wanting to know are valid. I think it's only a decision the prospective parents can make - it's what feels right for you that matters.

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