why am i not relaxed?

[sarahmia]

I have one healthy DD who I had no problems with and then 2 pregnancies where I found out at the 12 week scan that the babies were not viable.
I have had my 12 week scan and everything looks good, nuchal looks good although I denied the nuchal test. baby growing well (big problem in last pregnancies)
so why am I dreading my 20 week scan??
why can i not even imagine that I will have a new baby in the summer?
I want to relax and enjoy this pregnancy, Ive had such a tough year (this being the third time Im pregnant in a year) but I cant seem to relax.
anyone have any advice?

I'm not surprised you aren't relaxed, be gentle with yourself. You've had things seem fine in the past and then had bad news later. It's natural for a bit of you to think "okay, so the 12 week scan was all right, what about 20 weeks". Once you've got to the third trimester and baby is viable you may find it easier, but maybe not. Try not to beat yourself up about it.

I can sympathise, I've not had the problems you had but have my risk level has gradually crept up with every set of tests and scans and I'm not finding it easy. DH has ready too many books and wants me to cuddle, talk to and bond with my bump. At the moment I can't picture looking after a baby at all, all I know is that I have to stab myself 4 times a day (have GD) go for 2 antenatal appts most weeks and feel rubbish both physically and about my body and how it deals with pregnancy.

I think you'll be absolutely fine once you have the baby. I don't think pregnancy is relaxing at all (just look at all the "should I worry" posts on here). Enjoy the bits you can, don't get hung up on the bits you can't. Maybe once it's kicking you it'll be easier.

Sorry, hope my ramblings helped, honestly not trying to hijack with my own whinges.

sarah I'm feeling exactly the same... I had a mmc at the 12 week scan last summer, and have my 20 week scan with this pg in three hours and am bricking it! I think it's because we've had experience of the sad side of why they even offer these scans, so it's only natural to worry that you'll be on the sad side of the anomoly scan too.

When's your scan? Hope you don't have to wait too long, and fx it will be perfectly lovely for both of us. ((hugs))