Fear of erratic feelings in first trimester

[Jhas]

Hi I am pregnant with my first child. I am only 5 weeks in, and I am suffering panic attacks. I have wanted a baby for years, and I now have the perfect partner, and he feels so happy. But I am constantly worried that something will go wrong, and that i might suddenly go off him, and the relationship will fail, and that there is so much pressure that i can barely function. He is really worried as well now. Has anyone else experienced these irrational terrors in the throes of pregnancy? If so, can you suggest anything to help to calm me?

Oh bless you - I had a horrible time in the first trimester as well as I felt incredibly irrational/overwhelmed and with hindsight was really not myself. I'm 29 weeks now and can barely believe how I felt at the beginning.

Ours is a very much wanted pregnancy, but nothing out of the ordinary and I am fortunate to have no previous history of miscarraige but I was obsessed with the thought of something going wrong and with symptoms or lack thereof. I was in tears every day with anxiety and behaved very out of character. I'm usually very even tempered but one weekend got in such a rage that I had to go out in the car for the afternoon to get far away and just sat there sobbing not knowing what to do with myself or where to go. I have no idea what made me feel like this apart from hormones and I am very pleased to say that I am back to my normal self now and really enjoying pregnancy and looking forward to the babies arrival.

I'm not sure what to suggest for how to help but just wanted to let you know that how I felt sounds very similar and I can appreciate how awful it is.

On a practica level, I went for a private scan (babybond) at 9 weeks as I couldn't face waiting till 12 weeks and did everything I could to look after myself like getting a good nights sleep and trying to relax. I know DP was worried and couldn't really work out why I felt like I did but he did his best to try and help.

Are there specific things that your anxiety is focusing on? Are there practical things that you can do to help relieve some of your worries?

If not, I can honestly say that it did get better for me after the first trimester was over

Hi Jhas, its very common to feel panicky and anxious, remember that there are lots of hormones rushing around your body in early pregnancy. Things that might help are to confide in some trusted friends, write it all down in a journal, try some meditation/relaxation techniques and just generally look after yourself. You might find that in a few weeks when the hormones settle, you will start to relax and enjoy it a bit more. If not then talk to your midwife and/or doctor, they are used to it and can help.

I experienced them with DC1, DC2 and I have just found out I am pg on DC3 and I am feeling them again. I also cried my eyes out when we got a dog and a house.

It is because it is a big responsibility so I think it is natural to be scared and anxious especially on the first, you are about to become tottally responsible for a person.

It will slowly pass and by the time you hit 12 weeks it should be gone or mostly gone just try to remember there are no perfect parents only perfect intentions, and worrying shows you care and that is a good sign that you are trying to do whats best .

Try to stay calm everything will work out fine.

Hi Jhas, I'm only pregnant with my first too (although a bit further along than you at 28 weeks) so don't have pearls of wisdom to impart! Just wanted to add my support and say that although it sounds like a bit of a fob off, your hormones will be all over the place at the moment and you are likely to be way more emotional than normal.

My DH and I (under normal circumstances) are blissfully happy and like you, thrilled about the baby. However, it's a massive life event and I think it would be strange if it didn't throw up all kinds of doubts, worries, insecurities (and that's just before you add on the crazy hormones!).

So yes, I have the same irrational terrors and I deal with it by explaining to DH how I am feeling but asking him to bear with me (when I am feeling more sane). I have had several 'incidents' with him where I have decided I want him to leave, or I want to leave, I think it's just a panic reaction that things are changing.

So I'm sorry but I can't advise anything other than speak to your partner about it but then also speak to him when you're feeling more positive and happy about things (assuming the feelings come and go). My DH is now able to just keep me calm during one of my outbursts and then it passes and he promises not to take offence!!

If it is literally constant, non-stop terror then it would be worth seeing your GP or midwife to discuss and making clear that you feel it's more than just the 'wobbles' that we all get and that it's seriously affecting you. I hope you start to feel better very soon

Agree with Lucieloo as well, if there are practical things that you can do that really helps sometimes - very early on I went into meltdown that we didn't have shelves in the cupboard with our boiler so I didn't have an airing cupboard. This became the biggest issue our relationship has faced - until DH calmly went to get some wood and a hammer and made me some shelves!!

Silly little things but addressing them one thing at a time really helped calm me down.

Thanks all, It's such a huge relief to hear you all say that you have experienced something similar. I think that i started to worry, and then i worried BECAUSE i was worried. Self perpetuating. Boyfriend is total star though....however long suffering. Thanks again!:)