HELP! Do I find out the sex or not.

[swannny]

Hi Ladies

I'm in a pickle... Hubby and I decided that we would have a surprise at the beginning when we found out I was pregnant. In fact, I've always said that if I was pregnant, I would keep it a surprise, but yesterday, I came over all anxious.

This may just be nerves, but recently I have started to lean towards it being a boy, despite calling it, 'she' from the beginning to avoid calling baby 'it'. Arrrrrrrrggghhhh...

Anyway, I'm wondering if I should find out as it might help me more if I know whether I'm going to be bonding with an 'Alex' or a 'Lily'?

I found out with my daughter and I enjoyed knowing! It was just as much a suprise at 20 weeks as it would have been at 40 weeks. I am pregnant again now 32 weeks and we know we are having a little boy! I don't regret finding out with either and think that after that it's a ... moment there are so many more exciting things to find out so the birth experience was just as special. What do they look like, do they have hair, how much do they weigh and so on. So much more than just gender for me. I agree though it's a personal choice and many of my friends (in fact all of my friends) didn't fine out the sex of their babies before the birth. Perhaps that says more about my 'control freak' personality than anything else.

I would want to know.

When you give birth, you just got a baby. That's pretty exciting.

Why not spread out the fun, by having the excitement of finding out the sex at a different time.

Not finding out because you want a surprise sounds to me like when people get married on their birthday - a waste of the chance of having two separate happy things.

ooooo I like the envelope idea... I think I'll put that to the Hubby :)

Hi Cocca :) xx

Thanks to everyone who's responded by the way :) I feel so much better about things now xx

Wow fanjo, you had it written down and you didn't look, that is impressive self-control!

I personally would never find out. I love not knowing. In fact, thinking about it, I could probably resist looking at the piece of paper as well. My SIL had her first a few months before we did and she did find out. She's now expecting #2 and is not finding out; we suspect she saw how much excitement us not knowing generated and she wants a piece of the action. She's the first not-knowing convert i've come across!

My DH really wants to know, so we'll find out (if we can). If it were just up to me, I wouldn't find out. It's not really the surprise element, I just want to put off the moment when people start making assumptions about my baby because of its gender and I really don't want loads of pink/blue gender stereotyping clothes, toys etc. But as DH says: people who know me probably know better than to do that anyway, unless they want a stern look!

But what has surprised me is the number of people who have told us in no uncertain terms: "You definitely don't want to find out." We're both pretty clear in our own minds what we want, so it's very odd to be told that we're wrong. I can see the pros and cons of doing both, but at the end of the day surely it's just a personal preference...

OK, so I decided not to find out the sex, but it would seem that my baby didn't like me calling him 'she' or 'her' and so decided to flash his willy... I'm over the moon anyway and can't wait to meet my son in June :) xx