upset at GP reaction to pregnancy

[panashe]

Hello, I find myself drawn back to mumsnet after finding out I was pregnant over Christmas.
Have new GP due to house move and last week registered with nurse told her about pregnancy and she was very supportive and positive..made me appointment with a 'lovely' doctor who I went to see yesterday.
I went in and he was all smiles saying Oh I believe you have good news, is this your first pregnancy ?

and I said no I have 4 children, youngest is 12, but am in new relationship.His attitude changed completely. He started humming and haaing saying Oh well you still have time to change your mind and that he wasn't judgemental !!! Started quizzing me about new relationship , if he had children and if he saw them and I just came away feeling like he thought I was completely mad to contemplate having a child at 41 with new partner, and that I needed to decide whether to continue with pregnancy. I said to him I wanted him to refer me to midwives and he said if I wanted to change my mind I could go back to see him. He also told me he had 4 kids and think the thought of starting again horrified him. Has anyone else had negative experience due to age or family circumstances ?

By the way new partner is 10 years younger, has one daughter who he has custody of and is delighted we having baby. Just waiting until fist scan before we tell my brood :)

Hi Never, I know I need to grow some thick skin because am sure he won't be the only person to react negatively.

I read a thread on here about just seeing midwife without going to GP. I have always gone to GP and then they did referral, thought that was normal ?

thanks for all the congratulations :)

I had my first dd when I was 24 and got a similar reaction but from a female doctor!

I think they often just think a young person couldn't possibly have a good job, house, is happily married and in a stable relationship in their early 20s etc and the same for older mums, that they must want a termination once they're over 40!

I also happened to be living in an area where teenage pregnancies were high and so kind of blanket-spoke to everyone who seemed quite young!

I think the GPs should have better 'bedside manner' training!!!

I think that nationally, they are trying to get midwives to do all pregnancy first apps now.

Congrats on your pregnancy - I know loads of mummies with a big age gap between their last two and it's lovely.

Thanks vintageteacups I am very exited, went walking down baby aisle in asda yesterday thinking omg here we go again..

Congratulations on your lovely news! :)

Yours GP sounds like is a complete prat. Completely unprofessional and inappropriate.

I too went to my GP first, as I looked online here - www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy/pages/introduction.aspx - and it says see a GP or midwife.

I moved house early in pg as well - my old GP was brilliant - I said "I'm pregnant" and burst into tears at excitment/panic at saying it out loud, and she said "Are you happy?", which was an excellent way to go with the conversation - totally neutral and opened it up for me to say how I felt. She advised me to make an appointment with a GP in my new area once I'd moved.

In my new area, the GP looked at me like I was an idiot for being there and said that I needed an appointment with a midwife and should call the hospital. Which was particularly annoying, as when I spoke to the receptionist and said I was pg, she'd given me an urgent appointment - I felt like I'd wasted everyone's time. Wish there was better/more consistent communication about this.

Hi tubbyglossop, as I had registered at surgery last week the nurse made me appointment with GP so assume for them it normal. I had to fill in forms requesting maternity care from them.

Am 8 weeks on Friday so hope to see a midwife soon