When your partner wants a child and you don't?

[YourKiddingMe]

Im new here and was not sure if there was an intro section?
I have the dilemma of being in a relationship where my partner wants a child (I think he just likes practicing myself)lol, but he ain't gonna get far with a coil firmly in the way.
He does not pressure me as such and would never end the relationship but he brings it up often!, but it kind of gets me thinking "well should I" but then I talk myself out pretty quickly!
We do have a very stable relationship and are fine financially, but im just not maternal, Im terrified of the actual birth, and considerng im "small" Im sure I would get pretty badly damaged in my rather small "neather reagion" lol, and I have dogs, the take up alot of my time, they are all large breed, and there is no way hosay I would part with them if a child came along.
Im just not sure what to do I guess? has anyone had this dilemma?

On whos behalf? he won't leave me, and I would not leave him, it would have to be his choice, I feel he would rather be with me than have a child, but at the same time, I keep thinking time is moving on and will I ever change my mind?, I guess im looking for similar experiences?
Tankyou for your reply though, it's nice to get other opinions.

Yourkiddingme just wondering how old you are? I have been with my DP since I was 19 and always knew he wanted children. For exactly the same reasons as you I was unsure and was honest with him about this, however last year (I'm now 30) I realised it was now also something I wanted. And one thing led to another and I'm 36 weeks pregnant now..... He loves my dogs as much as I do btw, and is a lovely man. I am so happy now, but never would have thought I'd be excited about having a baby 10 years ago.

Hello yourkiddingme,

This was the exact same position I myself was in. (I being the man, well in body anyway. And I say was because my other half is 7 weeks pregnant) :)

Having a child is something that I have planned since I was 17 (I know it's crazy) I'm now 33 and having a child now, just makes so much sence to me. My other half just like you is small in stature around 5ft, and petrified about giving birth. We have even looked at a private Csection £2500 and she would always come up with excuses to delay. (good excuses too! Dam her. My argument normally consisted of throwing a tantrum and shouting I want one, I want one. I haven't stamped my foot though)

Like your partner I too would have stayed if she was to say that she will never have a child. But to be honest I think there would always be a part of me that would resent her.

I just don't see a point to my existence, if it was not to have children and make them a better person than I am.

I know lots of women who have all said that they will never have children and all of them are now great mums! And my other half, can not wait for the arivel of our baby. We have already had 2 scans one you couldnt see anything the other one at 4 weeks you could see the sack approx 4.6mm (to be honest i thought it was a hole) and next week we will probably go for another one and hopefully see the heart pumping.

How you feel now may change, who knows what the future will bring? But Fate often likes to play cruel jokes so be careful.

Thankyou so much for those very helpful replies, im nearly 30 by the way, and very interesting to find out the cost of a C section as this was one of the conditions of me even thinking of having a child considering I was sedated for the coil it was so painful and took a good few attempts.
I think it is something Im definately going to chew over and ponder for a while, just wish I could top talking myself in and out all the time.
Im lucky that my Other Half is not the resentful type and does accept that it's possibly not something Im going to come round too, or will I? Lol
Thankyou for the mans perspective too, that was very interesting.

Paternal I have to say that's a very sweet post. It's nice to hear a man's experience!

Sorry YourKiddingMe I don't really have any advice - it's such a terribly personal decision. All I can say is that I think the thing to focus on is whether you ever see yourself with children (what do you want your life to be like when you're 40? Or when you're 50?). The practicalities (dogs etc.) will sort themselves out.

Best wishes to you whatever you decide in the end.

Our situation was the other way round - I desperately wanted a baby and my husband didn't. When we had been married for 5 years, had a reasonably good financial situation and had moved to a bigger house my darling husband agreed to having a baby. He still didn't want one and I tried not to pressurise him in any way but I couldn't help him noticing how unhappy not having a baby was making me. Our baby was born a year ago, and DH was supportive and lovely but he did struggle bonding with DD until she was about 9 months old and became fun and interactive. Now he is besotted with her and is a fantastic dad. I'm not saying that I was right and he was wrong, but I do know that we are all very happy now.

I know I'd like another one in a year or so, not had the courage to raise that one yet with DH! But I wouldn't insist on it, I know I'm incredibly well blessed with the daughter and husband I have.

Not sure if that helps you in any way.