Finding it hard to be positive

[knackered76]

This is my 4th pregnancy, I already have 2 dc's. My miscarriage was last summer. So far, I'm 19 weeks, this pregnancy has been fine. I've had positive scans, a good nuchal result and apart from tiredness I feel fine. My 20 week scan is next week. The trouble is I am finding it really hard to be positive and properly enjoy this pregnancy. I feel as though I am just waiting for something to go wrong.

I ordered some maternity clothes which arrived the other day and have refused to unwrap them until after the scan incase I have to send them back (luckily I am wearing borrowed ones at the moment!). My dd is 5 and soooooo very excited about it, she talks about it everyday and wants to listen to the heartbeat on the doppler we have. I've been telling her on and off that we still need to have another picture taken of the baby to see that it is okay because sometimes they aren't are we don't know. I feel as though I am trying to prepare her for when it all goes wrong and I have to deal with the questions she will ask. My ds is not as bothered and doesn't really mention it so I don't feel the need to do it for him.

I only realised how negative I am being when my dh, after seeing me refuse to open the clothes, asked me if I thought I was a lot more negative this time. I laughed and then conceded that I probably was but don't mean to be. He said he was talking to someone the other day and said it was strange because I was the most negative he's ever seen and he was the most excited about this pregnancy then he's ever been. That made me feel even worse!

Not sure what anyone can say really, just clawing my way to next monday and then I hope I can be more positive for everyone. Doesn't help that I seem to be an emotional wreck this time either, ready to cry at the smallest things! Sorry for twittering on, feels quite cathartic telling someone that I am clearly a mentalist!

I have no advice, just didnt want your post to be unanswered, im sure someone will be along soon who knows what you are going through.

Un-mumsnet hugs for you though

Dont be silly you are not a mentalist! first of all you have had a miscarriage last year so you have experienced what it is like to loose a baby, so to be pregnant again it is only natural that you will be worried at every stage that it may happen again, i have no personal experience of miscarriage but can only imagine how traumatic it would be, you say you are 19 weeks so not long till your next scan, how many weeks were you when you miscarried last year??
secondly your proberly really tired as you already have your children to run around after, im 8 weeks pg with my 3rd and im not really looking forward to it as im dreading how im going to cope with 3 children under 6!! i only seem to think of the negatives now im actually pg!! and its so exhausting doing everything for the other 2 when im so tired, hoping that will pass soon. I dont think its as exciting being pg 3rd time round because i find being pg so boring and long and i know how fed up i get at the end, this might just be me tho!!
so i sort of know how your feeling. ive not much advice just wanted to let you know that others feel similar, Im sure after your next scan you will feel a bit better, take it easy and rest as much as you can, fingers crossed for your scan post on how it goes xxx

Thank you! I just can't believe I have turned into a person who sees potential problems everywhere! My miscarriage was fairly early at 10 weeks, discovered at a scan, but was a huge shock as the other 2 pregnancies were fine. I now need to keep away from all the stories of things going wrong, I seem to torture myself with them just to prove that it does happen and therefore can/will happen to me

im sure last years miscarriage was a blip in the system, just not meant to be, but your 19 weeks now with a lovely baby growing every day in your tummy, after the scan next week you will get that extra reassurance you need to start looking forward to the future of having no 3 in your family!! i find being pregnant can change you into a totally diff person you will get back to your normal self once you have your baby with you!! ooh listen to me im getting quite excited for my no 3, got to wait till aug tho which is so long away. Good luck x

Im nearly 22 weeks with an IVF baby and i still have not stopped worrying.
I worried up to my 20 week scan. Had one day of relief and now worrying as i dont feel proper movements and i think i should be.

So scared all the time.
Booked my maternity leave with work this morning and ended up thinking what would happen if i lost the baby before getting to my due date.

I get so angry as this will probably be my only pregnancy and i feel like i am ruining it. :(

We just have to have a little faith i guess.
Sorry i am just as bad but it actually makes me feel better that someone else out there worrys too. xxxxxxx

oh i was exactly the same after my 2 MCs!!! I'm 35 weeks now. i remember saying to DH that I felt as if I wasn't even sure that there would be a baby at the end of this pregnancy. Totally normal!

My sympathies. In my last pregnancy I bled from 7 weeks until about 25 weeks and everytime I thought it was a miscarriage. And due to other medical complications I went into the renal ward at hospital for 4 days. So I could not get happy.

Once I got past the 20 week scan I was still a misery. But I had seen my baby and I knew I had to shake the fear away somehow. My DP said whatever happened I would always love my baby so being detached wouldn't make any difference. So began to talk to my baby in my tummy and tried to make that bond.

Just take each day at a time. Don't give yourself a guilt complex about how you feel but perhaps a little chat with baby each night might help?