History of FGM with bad psychological effects, do you think I can be eligible for a section?

[normathesurvivor]

Hi all,

Hope you have had good Christmas and looking forward to a happy New Year. I am new in the forum although have been reading it for awhile; couldn?t allow myself to join till I felt a little bit assured and had my 12th week scan. Now I am feeling awful, please bear with me and read on as I am desperate for advice.

I am 36. This is my third pregnancy. My first one ended with a medical termination at 7 weeks which was done privately, the public reason was that I and DH weren?t ready for it but big part of the reason was my panic over the idea of being full term and having to give birth. This psychological issue started early in my life as a result of a traumatic FGM at the age of 6 (another long terrible terrible story). As a result of that, I was 30 when I lost my virginity (sorry if tmi) as could not handle the thought of being intimate. I am pleased I had waited for the right person but honestly the waiting was due to the above mentioned experience (DH was understanding had to wait for 12 months before I even considered the idea, bless him). I had used a lot of self help psychological therapies to be able to go through this and then to get pregnant again. I got pregnant again in July 2010 and had a miscarriage at 7 weeks , felt so awful, that I am being punished for the termination I had. Now I am 13 weeks and I can?t imagine how I can give birth normally. My only hope is being able to get a section but not sure if they will agree to that. I have met the midwife, she offered a reversal of female genital mutilation, I couldn?t handle the though as I had read about it already and started to panic. I explained about my symptoms, the panic attacks, the nightmares, the flashbacks etc; she said she will arrange for an appointment with the consultant so I can discuss my options further. I am struggling with the idea of losing my control over my body again, the internal examination, the idea of the cuts, the catheter etc  and I feel I wont be able to carry with this pregnancy if I was not going to have a section, since I have known I am pregnant I feel so unwell worrying about the baby being stuck there about me being in that position. I would be grateful for your thoughts and advice. Many thanks

Thanks for updating Norma, I posted back in December and remember your thread. I hope you feel more positive about the whole pregnancy experience now. How many weeks pg are you now?

Wow, brave lady. I hope you can enjoy your pregnancy now and look forward to having your baby.
Best of luck

Many thanks Sarah and Greasy chip. Sarah, grateful for your support, I am 20 weeks now and for the first time feeling relaxed and establishing a better bonding experience with my babyboy. Love x

That's great news Norma - I ham so glad that you are finally able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. I just wanted to say well done for being so brave - I think your user-name is absolutely right - you are a survivor and soon you are going to be a wonderful mum to a lucky little boy.

Thanks Sausagerolemodel, just being able to stop worrying about the delivery has made all the differnce :-)

Thanks for updating.

So glad you can get a c/s. And delighted that hearing that has helped you relax.

Please keep posting here if there's anything else MN can do to support you...

Hope everything goes well for you.