Pregnant body

[autumnberry]

I am feeling miffed about my pregnant body and fancied sharing. It is not ugly or awful, and love feeling my little baby growing, but I really, really miss the freedom of my slim pre-pregnant body. I did not realise I was so vain and spend a lot of time thinking that I'm just waiting this pregnancy out. Does anyone else feel the same? Any positive stories about post-pregnancy bodies would be welcomed.

I have had 4dc and am slimmer now than before children.Breast feeding always took off my baby weight.It took 6 months with the first 2 and 1 year with the other two.No dieting, no depriving myself and infact eatting more than before.(sadly i have lots of stretch marks but they are my baby scares.Thats life)

I've got one DD, and am currently pregnant with dc2.

After DD, it took me about a yr and a half to get back to normal. My body looked much better after being pregnant than before for some reason! I think my hips were wider, so looked better with my boobs.

I must admit being a bit scared during this pregnancy as I got off unscathed last time. Pregnancy is sort of a means to an end for me, and I much prefer my not pregnant body and the way it feels. It's more the heaviness and being more tired and less strong which bothers me more than it actually looks.

Ok, hated the middle bit - where you look fat not pregnant, but loved having a proper bump. WAs one of those annoying peopel who (apparently) didn't look pregnant from teh back. in hindsight, bollocks as my wasit was lovely and small pre-preg.

AFter......
People generally say thigns like: 'Ooh, you've lost all your weight' and 'Have you lost more weight?'.

No and no.

My (once loevly) boobs have suffered and now need to be poured into smaller bras and fluffed up (almost cried in Bravissimo when the sales assistant tactfully suggested 'perhaps a differnet syle of bra').

My waist is 1.5 inches bigger than it should be.

I have a bit of a mum tum and weird squishy bits on my back/hips that even really skinny peopel seem to have once they've had a baby - or so they tell me.

I had to buy control pants for teh staff xmas do. But then, I was wearing a skintight dress.

Basically, I'm not bad considering I've had a baby, and if I could wear a badge to that effect, I'd be made up.

Apologies for typos, very much enjoying not breastfeeding this xmas.

Ps. Forhet about your body - I never knew what under-eye cream was for before i had Ds.All makeup now has to match the deep purple bags under my eyes.

But 15month old DS trying to lick the orangutans at he zoo today more than makes up for my changes.

'I get big. Get over it' BreastmilksOnMe- love it, I will have to remember that one. I too go gigantic in pg, not really overall weight gain but very very big pointy bump that makes people raise their eyebrows at the least. Can't count the 'sure it's not twins hurhurhur' comments.

I found it weird at the beginning of my first pg, my body changing- it hadn't really since I was a teenager, not dramatically. I found once I had a 'proper' bump and just basically made peace with my body changing I really truly enjoyed it, and loved being pregnant. It's easy to say and hard to do in our culture of slimness/celebrity/pinging back into shape/stretchmarks are the devil etc.

I am currently 28 weeks with dc #4. I am feeling fat and sluggish - especially after all the Christmas fayre and not going out much for a couple of weeks.

IMO anyone who expects their body to be EXACTLY the same after they've had a baby is being completely unrealistic. I lost all my baby weight after my first 3 dcs - mostly due, I believe, to breastfeeding and eating sensibly. However, my norks have had a hammering, my tummy looks saggy where I got so big,I have some stretch marks and piles which if I'm diligent don't bother me too much.

I do however have 3 beautiful healthy children who are worth every single perceived flaw and imperfection on my once pert little bosoms and bottom! Sometimes, you just need to give yourself a little reminder of what life's really all about

I had DC#1 at 18 and surprisingly I was not all that concerned about my body changing. Pre children I was a tiny size 6 and very petite at 5ft0. Naively I just thought I would snap back into shape again after the birth, and many people told me this (ha!). My idea was tummy gets bigger - baby comes out (somehow!) - tummy goes down to normal! Was not prepared for it being a full-body experience, with even my nose getting wider!!!
Despite just eating normally (and not even much due to sickness) I gained 3 and a half stone and my bump was sooo big that on the ward the midwives kept assuming I was carrying twins - people were actually shocked when I said there was only one baby .

After DC#1 I did not snap back into shape. It took 9 months for me to get to a size 8 (half a stone heavier than previously and up one cup size).

I have ALOT of deep stretchmarks from that pregnancy. However I would say to anyone who has them for the first time that they DO fade to skin colour. And your womb will take time to go down and tummy muscles will tighten. I found it helped to try not to put too much pressure on yourself - enjoy your new baby, and the rule - 9 months up, 9 months down. It also helps immensly if you have a partner who is still "into" you sexually during pregnancy and post birth.

My pregnancy with DC#2 I was not quite as big but still pretty impressive bump!
The legacy of the 2nd pregnancy has been very wrinkly tummy skin (think my tummy has been stretched to it's limit!), c-section overhang (had 2 c-sections) and slightly 'fallen' boobs. Again it took me 9 months-1 year to get to a size 10 (another half a stone heavier) and up another cup size.

I did relish being able to sleep on my tummy - actually jumped onto the bed tummy-first! , have sex in missionary again and feel like my body was my own again.

However pregnancy is temporary and a normal thing, it's only 9 months out of your life.

I put on half a stone after each baby which I find hard to shift (I dieted after DC#1 to no avail) - I'd practically have to starve myself lose that stone - and f**k that! I see this body as the body I am meant to have and actually prefer being this weight, and don't really mind my tummy sticking out a bit and being a bit flabby (well not enough to do sit ups and crunches!).

Once in my previous workplace ladie's changing room there was a conversation and a 'pulling up of tops showing of stretchmarks'. Compared to mine the other ladies stretchmarks were minor, so I showed mine and some of the other ladies recoiled in shock and gasped - seriously! I was a bit narked at the time but now I am strangely proud of that moment!

Bodies never look the same after childbirth - it's normal, but not neccesarily "bad" . Anyone (usually celeb mags or twatty men) who say otherwise should be slapped over the head

Sorry for the huge ramble, this issue is one of my passionate topics! There is a site/blog called "the shape of a mother" will is quite good.

Good Luck with your pregnancies .

xxx

*which is quite good

and

I don't mind flabby sticky out tummy enough to be bothered doing sit ups etc

Should go to bed!

I snapped back after ds1. Was a size 8 with a flat tum just a few months later. The only difference I noticed was that my breasts were a lot softer and the slightly crepey lower stomach skin texture that someone else mentioned. People are often surprised to hear that I've had a baby if they don't know. BUT am now 6 weeks pregnant with no 2 and feel flabby already and selfishly terrified that my body won't recover as well a second time! I'm following the advice that you don't need to eat for two until quite late in the pregnancy when you actually need extra calories and I'm also eating far, far better than usual (no takeaways, fizzy drinks e.t.c.) to make sure the baby gets all the right nutrients, which I think is what made all the difference to how easily I lost the weight last time - usually I am the king of junk food!

And for the record, having a baby changes enough of your life and identity, you need to keep something back for yourself! A healthy weight and a positive body image are important in general and having a baby doesn't mean you should abandon any notion of ever looking good again! If you were not happy with your body to start with then it's understandable that you wouldn't appreciate how uncomfortable these changes are to a lot of women.

Ijust wanted to crash in here.. DD is now 7 months, i am an ex anorexic,having to gain a stone just to start ovulating and having put on about 2 and a half stone in pregnancy ( no stretchies!)
you might think i was also a bit worried... but I had a little word with myself when i started to freak out at 20weeks pg. I looked at myself full length and took it all in. It is pretty wonderful actually that our bodies can change and create and nourish anothe human. I actually havent looked back since, apart from feeling a bit bloated from pigging out sometimes ( she has been the healing of me- so says my mum)

I am still about 7lbs over what i was before pg, stopping bf very soon and trying to concieve again.

Here's hoping you get a chance to love the body you have for more than its appearance.
x

thegauntlet great post. 'had a little word' is exactly the sort of thing I meant when I was talking about accepting the changes. Good luck trying for DC2!

lovely post from alienzombie

:)

Yes, there are some lovely, encouraging and supportive posts :)

I had my first baby 13 months ago (aged 32) and was paranoid about getting stretchmarks - was convinced I would and rubbed bio oil into my bump and thighs every morning and evening. Was very impressed when it worked and I got none , until my mum informed me that she had none (after four children), and neither did either of my sisters (one three births, other two) so I think it is hereditary and there's not much you can do about it - not that it isn't worth rubbing in something just for the psychological benefits of actually doing something to help though!

I'm still BFing my daughter at least morning and before bed (sometimes during the day too if I'm there and she wants it) and haven't done any dieting at all. I am now 10lb lighter than I was when I first found out I was pregnant and my body is exactly the same as before - although my nipples are now extremely stretchy much to my dh's amusement . I didn't really weigh myself during the pregnancy despite planning to (and I didn't take enough bump photos looking back, but I am 5'8" and I'm now 10 stone and very happy with my body and what it's accomplished. If anything I think I feel more confident about myself physically than I ever did before.

And everyone I've spoken to with a small baby in the past year has said they missed their bump to start with, even if they didn't really enjoy being pregnant at the time.

I consider my post-pg body story to be a positive one.

I have a 16 month DD and am 36 weeks pg with DC2. Prior to DD, I did have a bikini body: I was a size 12 with perky boobs, washboard abs, very toned legs and arms. I gained 2 and a half stones and enjoyed mainly hot chocolates and pains au chocolat. Two weeks post-delivery, I had lost 20 pounds through forgetting/having no time to eat and I didn't breastfeed at all. By the time DD was 4 months, I had lost the final 15 pounds and then did some exercises to tone up as I was hitting the beach a month later.

I can say that I went back to the body I had pre-pregancy EXCEPT boobs have never been as perky. Shame! This pregancy, I have gained the same amount as I did with DD and still have no stretchmarks, although one of my friends got them in her last two weeks so never say never!!

"Bodies never look the same after childbirth"

I would adjust that to say "often" rather than "never".

I had DD at 41 and pinged back into shape. I couldn't eat much while pregnant so didn't put much weight on. I didn't diet at all - in fact I ate far more while breastfeeding than while pregnant, BUT I did my stomach exercises religiously. At 52 I can still wear a bikini and can honestly say that you can't tell from looking at me that I have ever been pregnant - no stretchmarks or saggy boobs.