Waters have broken at 28 weeks - we're in America!

[Southsearocks]

I've come over to the US for a two week holiday to my partner's family. No problems at all in this pregnancy (my first). Then yesterday morning the waters broke! I've been admitted to a local hospital and although me and baby are fine we'll be here for the duration. It's likely to be three months! Baby could come any time between now and full term so we're keeping everything crossed (including my legs of course) it stays in as long as possible. Either way we're not able to fly home for a looong time...

Our baby will be coming back to the UK an American citizen - how about that?

Pray the insurance works out for us!!

Well done Southsea for getting this far and remaining sane! Glad baby is still staying put.

In answer to your question - it's a risk-balancing exercise. Risk of infection doesn't magically increase suddenly at 34 weeks. Risk of infection remains as long as your waters have broken (may gradually increase with time, I'm not sure, but this would seem logical). But the risks to baby of being outside your womb decrease steadily as time passes. At some point (roughly at 34 weeks) those risks will cross over, and the risk of baby staying in will exceed the risk of being out. At that point, they would recommend delivering.

Of course, if you started showing actual signs of infection at any point, the balance of risks would alter again, and delivery would most likely occur sooner.

Thats a little reassuring about the insurance Southsea, seeing as one department is at least saying you are covered. Hope you are sleeping/resting peacefully and baby is staying happily put.

How's things this weekend southsea?

Hi Southsearocks

I've been following your thread, but haven't posted on it before. I want to say that I have got my fingers crossed for you and the little one. I'm pleased for you that your ipad arrived!

I'm really surprised at Direct Travel Insurance threatening to be difficult. When I lived in the UK we used them because they were a Which best buy. But then again, the real test of any insurance company if when you actually have to make a claim. It's worth fighting these things. I would hope that now one department is saying you are covered they are starting to see sense and it is taking time for that message to filter to all the other people looking at your claim.

One aspect of your story that is impacting me is that I am going on holiday at 24/25 weeks to Hong Kong soon. I wouldn't have intended to take a holiday there while pregnant, but it was booked before we even started TTC! I will check again with the travel insurance company (Columbus Direct) that we are covered. I told them I was pregnant when I took out the policy. The policy schedule names me and DH as insured persons, but it also says in the important notes section on the same page 'dependent children aged under 19 are cover to 50% of the stated benefits'. I would like to think that would cover treatment for a baby born unexpectedly early on holiday. But I will call and double check.

Anyway, hope you are finding that the time is passing faster now you have your ipad to play with! :)

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. Hope your weekend is going well and you are enjoying the iPad! Any word from the consulate? It is insane that they have been so bad at getting back to you. It makes them seem a bit pointless!?!

I seem to remember you saying that there were visa issues for you dp - have they been sorted?

Hope mini southsea is having a good weekend too.

Hi Southsea, just found your thread and read the whole thing aloud to my DH...

You seem to be doing brilliantly despite insurance companies doing their best to get you down! You should definitely talk to some journalists... Shame the insurance company into speeding up helping you!!

I hope baby southsea stays in a bit longer and you don't go crazy with boredom... Get twitter on your iPad and follow a load of celebrities, sort of like reading heat magazine as it happens lol xxxx

In terms of insurance and travelling, when I looked into this last year, travelling before 28 weeks seemed to be lower risk:

• covered by all insurance companies
• no need for letters from health professionals

After 28 weeks need to look around harder for insurance AND need letter from doctor.

Arrrgh, we don't have Wi-Fi where we're staying currently so for the next week I'll only be able to check in occasionally from the nearby Starbucks. Hang in there, southsea, and southseababy, you stay put if that's the best thing for you!! xxJM

Hello! Still here and 31 weeks tomorrow! I'm amazed.

I've just realised that the insurance company is Club Direct T I. I'm not going to say any more about it just yet until all is sorted but will let you know the outcome.

I didn't leave a post yesterday because I was feeling really low and homesick again. I spent a lot of the day sniffling. I'm starting to struggle even though I know each day is an achievement and the best possible thing for the baby. I guess it will pass and I'll perk up but I do miss my friends and family and my own bed

The hospital staff are really pleased with our progress and with how baby southsea is looking and sometimes I think I forget that that is who this is all about, so perhaps time to buck up a bit and find a bit more stiff-upper-lipness!

We haven't got any further forward with the consulate yet or immigration. We have all that to do still. I'm finding a bit hard to concentrate tonight so will sign off now but want to say thank you for all your lovely messages! My family are all reading now too and have said how lovely it is that you have taken such an interest in us and how supportive you are. I feel very fortunate and would like to send you all a big bunch of virtual flowers X

Hang in there southsea it must be awful so boring and so far from home but 31 weeks is fab (that's when my sister held on til) and when you hold that little one in your arms it will be all worth it.

It's raining here anyway you're not missing much

Hi Southsea, I have been lurking but not posted before but I just wanted to say how well I think you are doing and you're so brave! well done for hanging on so far and I'm sure you'll go a lot longer. Every minute counts! Keep your chin up and I'll be thinking of you and have everything crossed. Good luck xx

(oh, and it sounds like you need a big hug at the mo so here you go (((( ))))

Good to hear from you and glad to hear you are still hanging on! Sounds like you had one of those bad days yesterday - I remember those, there were quite a few of them to put it mildly. I just wanted to take a break from everything and just feel sorry for myself.

Guess what - you're allowed to, in fact you are supposed to! :) Yes, it is all about the little one, but heck, you've been seriously unlucky, you're miles from home in a different culture and you miss your family and friends. You've also got a ton to worry about besides little one's health and he is doing just grand where he is at the moment so you're the one you need to think about at the moment. So yep, wallow in it. Because if you repress it you'll crash even harder! Trust me on that..

And then you'll get the good days too, where the sausages and maple syrup for breakfast (seriously - have they served you this yet? it is WEIRD!) will make you laugh instead of cry. Make the most of 'em!

31 weeks is excellent!! The chances are brilliant at this point of a completely healthy baby long term.

Did they ever find an explanation for your waters just breaking like that, out of interest? There's not always answers unfortunately.

Keep on being institutionalised! Your routine will be flying out the window soon enough

Well done for getting to 31 weeks - that's amazing Southsea - you rock!

Well done Southsea. I'm having a wee cheer for BabySouthSea reaching 31 weeks all the way down here in NZ.

my DD loves the Ipad. Play with it now cos we can't get ours back off her.

Hi southsea. Also been lurking/reading avidly up till now but just wanted to say well done too - 31 weeks tomorrow is fab. Take care and good luck.

hi, another lurker here. and, also, when i lived in the uk, friends of ours had been a pregnancy where the mum just didn't produce any fluids - no waters broke, so not the risk of infection, but just no fluid. apparently, when she was pregnant there was a hard, lumpy bump that stuck out, where you could see the elbows etc though her skin!! anyway, she didn't even go on bed rest (as not leaking) & was induced around 36 weeks. absolutely no probs with the baby at all.

i know other people's stories don't affect your situation, but hoping that they give you some encouragement.

personally, i would hate to be on bed rest. that, by itself would be enough to send me into demented harpy land. with all the other worries you have, i think i'd need to be sedated.

you're not being selfish when you get upset - it would be selfish not to, being upset/down shows that you care. you are doing the very best for you & baby, so be proud of yourself for enduring so much.

Club Travel Direct! God, pregnancy brain! That's absolutely the right one this time. Apologies to the other companies if they exist.

So, 31 weeks today!! Or, 21 days! Or, three weeks! However you look at it it is a long time in baby development so those little lungs will be coming on and s/he will be putting on weight and getting ready for life on the outside. It feels great.

It's also a time tinged with disappointment and regret because of the things we're missing out on, like going to Mothercare to get our baby things, packing a bag for hospital, getting excited about the last couple of months, showing off the growing bump, going to anti natal classes... All of those things you get excited about and anticipate and look forward to in the build up to the new arrival have been by-passed and in my case for no discernible reason other than the waters broke too early. The doctors don't know why it happened so just 'one of those things'.

I know I should count my blessings, and really I do! I'm so happy to be having this baby with my lovely, lovely DP - we are over the moon about it and looking forward to our lives together as a family. It's happened later in life for me than for most people so even more reason to be thankful, because for a long time I never thought it would happen at all. And on the whole this is what I think - I am very, very fortunate.

I also have this little tiny bit of . But, you know, once Baby S is here I think that will all be forgotten.

You've sent me so many helpful messages I'm going to go back and read them today to see what I've missed!
It's Martin Luther King Day here in the US so a bank holiday for most. DP should be here soon so am looking forward to coffee from the shop downstairs. I am really living the life here!

Xxx

Another lurker here that just wanted to say how incredibly brave you have been throughout this - I am 24 weeks and have regular days where I just cry to my DH for no apparent reason..I am not sure how you are staying so strong but you are doing an amazing job!

On the plus side, you are still going to get all the baby things when babysouthsea arrives - you just get to do it with a little more knowledge! You could do some Internet snooping to plan exactly what you will get which you can order when you get back (much less stressful than traipsing round shops with huge bump getting tired) and bear in mind that baby clothes in the US seem to be much cuter and cheaper than the UK! You could get them delivered to your DH's family...

Also in your message you cpuld substitute 'terrified' for 'excited'..You don't have to worry about the birth plan and all the scary things they tell you in ante natal classes, you won't have to be worrying about babysouthsea being in the right position and worry when it's not and suffer when babysouthsea decides it doesn't want to come out for at least 10 days after it's supposed to.. And you will have the most amazing story to tell your baby that you can tell at it's 18th birthday party!

Big Hugs you are doing so well, and yes you are entitled to feel blue too. I spotted you on the older mums thread. My sis was 40 when she had her DS, after emigrating to OZ and having given up, 3 mths later they were preg. He is nearly 3 now, she had her fair share of problems enroute in the preg but got there on the other side of the world. When this is all over and you are back home with your lovely healthy baby you will look back on this experience and think wow we got through that and it will make you stronger.

It easy to say make the most of having your feet up now but its very tough doing it, you have lots of support on here we are all giving you a virtual hug. Have some tears it might make you feel better then think about all the positive things that have happened in gettting this far. 31 weeks is FAB!

while everyone envisages & hopes for the 'perfect pregnancy', particularly first time round, i think it's fair to say that a lot of that doesn't really happen, it's one of those 'hallmark moments' that exists in adverts, but real life doesn't always end up like that.

so don't feel you're missing out on something that everyone else has. it's like those christmas ads - you don't live the life the adverts tell you to, you live the life you have & create your own moments. raise a glass of bubbly to 31 weeks - even if it's bubbly water in a plastic cup.

Another lurker! Well done on getting so far!

In terms of getting your baby a British passport if you were born in the UK and are British there is absolutely no problem :) Have you tried contacting the embassy directly rather than the nearest consulate for help with other things?

I've been following you because we're off to SA in 3 days and I'm 27 weeks... You inspired me to check the small print fir our insurance cover so thank you! Turns out labour, delivery and consequences aren't covered, so I'm guessing baby isn't. I'm very annoyed because that was something we specifically asked when we took the insurance.

Yay, 31 weeks, fantastic! Thinking of you, and hope your insurers pull themselves together soon!! xxx

Congratulations! I don't know how I would cope in such a situation so you are now my new superhero. DH and I (and pusscats) thinking of you!