Antenatal depression help (Oxford)

[CaringForPod]

Hi,

Has/does anyone else suffered/suffer from antenatal depression? I'm finding this pregnancy really hard mentally and am on a waiting list for counselling with the NHS, but don't hold up much hope getting anywhere soon. So, I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for counselling services they have used in relation to this.

I had the 20 week scan the other day, and all was well. I was happy and relaxed for the rest of the day, but since then I've slipped back into my old thinking patterns. I've suffered from depression and anxiety for god knows how many years and both myself and husband think it's best I talk to someone. All my GP says is that 'everyone feels nervous', but I'm in tears an awful lot, just fearing the worst. I've filled in the form she gave me, but like I said, doubt I'll get an appointment with anyone on the NHS for a while. Baby is due end of April and I really don't think I can cope without talking to someone for all that time.

It's made worse by the fact that I still can't feel the baby (almost 22 weeks now. I have a high anterior placenta, which I understand means the movements might be muffled, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to cope with. The rational me understands, but the irrational me is freaking out.

Sorry for rambling on, but if anyone has any recommendations, we'd really appreciate them.

Thanks x

Hi There,

Antenatal depression (AND) and anxiety is a tricky thing because its not very well understood. People expect you to just be happy and excited with a little bit of worry and don't understand how all consuming the anxiety can be.

I have been really lucky my area has a specialist team which treats mums to be with anxiety and depression and will monitor you up until baby is one - i think the intention is to reduce PND by treating AND and getting to know mums to keep an eye on the signs.

I go to a group every tuesday 1.5 hrs which my manager treated as an antenatal appointment. It was so helpful and where i had considered medication i found this helped me cope that i didn't need to go down that route although many in my group were also on antidepressants which were safe in pregnancy.

The group was discussion based and used Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help you rationalise your fears.

Ask your midwife or your doctor, your area might have something similar, mine wasn't that well publicised.

Good luck there is help out there x

Yes there is help out there, but I had to kick off to get any in my area.

My GP was useless, she offered to put me on waiting list for CBT - I didn't need CBT (had it before to no effect)- I wanted support specific to the issues I was facing in this pregnancy. So I self-referred to the mental health services at the hospital, via the Supervisor of Midwives.

They were a bit crap at first (saw a psychiatrist at 20 weeks who offered me anti ds and said 'we can't monitor every depressed woman').

At 33 weeks things had degenerated so badly I was having suicidal thoughts, and told the obs so at my next appointment - that was enough to get them interested, I have had weekly appointments with a specialist mental health midwife since then, and been referred to a different psychiatrist, who has also managed to bump me up the list for counselling on the NHS for after the birth.

It might be worth phoning your head of midwives and asking if anything is available in your area. Good luck - I know how horrible it is, especially when everyone expects you to be excited and looking forward to baby.

I am very surprised you have not been offered more support. I was on fluoxetine when I found out I was pregnant. I had been prescribed it for a previous depressive episode and tbh it had been resolved but until then I hadn't seen any reason to risk coming off the anti-ds. I decided to come off them then under the supervision of my GP and I have had no recurrence of the depression since I have been pg. BUT I have been asked about my depression at every antenatal appointment and was even out under consultant led care because of it. I have been contacted by the local mental health team as well. it has almost been a bit annoying tbh as I am completely better and I have to keep explaining this all the time! But at least I know the help is there if I do start to feel depressed again. My impression was AND is something that they take very seriously and are keen to treat straight away. What a shame your GP was rubbish. Speak to your midwife or even try to contact your local anxiety/depression service directly if you can - they told me to contact them directly if I need to.x

Thanks everyone, you've been really kind. Depression is something that's been with me for a fair few years now (linked in with an eating disorder, joy), so pregnancy is turning out to be a bit of a mixed blessing. I really, really want this child, but just find it so difficult. Add body image issues to the worry and anxiety, and you've just got a big mess.

I'm on a mix of antidepressants already (some for mood, others to help me sleep), so would really like to avoid more tablets.

My GP was nice, but didn't really seem to know what to do. Ditto the locum midwife. Usual midwife is in tomorrow, so will try and give her a call. Highly doubt I'll be able to get an appointment. Not the best of surgeries. Sigh.

Anyway, thanks for your support and I'll do some digging and see what I can find in my area.

x

Thanks so much for those links, they look really useful. Will see if I can get an appointment with the GP/midwife and get a referral to IPPS. Thanks again, that's just what I needed :)

Hi all,

Just to let you know that I just had a very constructive appointment with the midwife, who has referred me for further support - big thanks to TarkaLiotta for bringing the OBMH Infant Parent Perinatal Service to my attention. I'm feeling more confident that there is help out there and fingers crossed for the future.

x

Hi

I have found all the discussions very interesting and useful. My wife has most of the same issues, she is 18 weeks with our 2nd child and absolutely hates pregnancy as she did during our first. I have tried to be supportive but I just seem to end up being the focus of her moods and aggression. Although she is depressed a lot of the time I haven't been overly concerned until recently. She has been getting more and more down and started to say she doesn't want the baby or she wishes she was dead. Our three and a half year old isn't helping as he has a defiant streak.
I have spoken to her about trying to get some help but she dosen't think it will do any good.
How do I persuade her otherwise?
Any suggestions as to what I should do help her? She doesn't want comforting, doesn't want to be ignored but criticises any suggestions I make.
Help. Xx

Hi Charles1694,

My advice, as my husband's is, is please go to see your midwife and GP about this. Drag her there if necessary. Does she have a history of mental illness? I know when I reach tipping point and need help - until then I'm like your wife and just try to pretend it isn't happening.

But please, please, please get her to the midwife. Even if she doesn't think it'll do any good, he/she needs to be aware of your wife's feelings. She'll be having the 20 week scan soon, so also mention it to the sonographer. Your wife may not thank you for it, but you play an important role in this pregnancy too and it's your right to be concerned. But if possible, get her to talk to someone before then. Chances are she is longing for help inside, but isn't ready to admit it yet.

Did she get any support during her first pregnancy? Also, what area are you in? It seems there are a lot of very knowledgeable mums out there and chances are someone in your area will know of some more specialist help.

I know these are all just words, but I hope they have been of some help. Do let us know how you and your wife get on. And feel free to PM me if you'd like.

x