Am i the only person feeling like this?

[Tibbo81]

Hi,
I would just like a few words of advice and an ear to bend!!

I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant, which i'm really pleased about but i'm suffering terribly with my emotions and hormones.

The past week all i seem to have done is either loss my temper or cry (which i'm currently doing). DH and i had a largeish row last night whereby i was told i was being lazy,over emotional and doing nothing round the house which is completly untrue!

I'm getting just as sick of it as he is, i'm stressing out over the simplest of things and its making me feel awful.

I understand that my body is going through some major changes, just as our life will when baby arrives and i know it will take time to get used to the idea of becoming a mother, but what do i do till then?

Has anyone else felt like this or is it just me?
Any advice welcome.
Tibbo xx

Hi Tibbo

I am v similar although I'm fortunate that when I scream at DH he keeps out the way a bit and then hugs me when I cry. In my more rational moments I tell him that I'm stressed (work isn't going well) and over emotional and he really understands because it's not like I was like it pre-pg.

I have loads of sympathy for you. I think you could try calmly telling him that you're finding the emotional and physical changes hard work and you appreciate that you might be hard to live with at times but please can he be patient and supportive. Sometimes guys just need it spelling out for them.

My DH is proposing changing both our cars. For some reason every conversation turns in to me shouting and then crying at him. We've now agreed that it's too much of a trigger point so we won't change the cars or even talk about it until after we have DC and I say we're ready.

Make time to hug him and positively reinforce the good behaviour. Thanking him, buying little treats etc. See it as practice for parenting a toddler! Learn to forgive yourself too, you weren't like this before you were pg and won't be like this forever.

For what its worth I've found having a bath helps if I'm feeling stressed. I also need loads more sleep and I'm a lot worse if I don't get it.

DH having a go at you, especially when what he says isn't true, doesn't help. It may be that he feels a bit left out and struggling to cope with all the change too. By 18 wks I was feeling baby move a bit and encouraged DH to try to feel baby kick, it helped us both to sit quietly, have a hug and focus on us becoming parents. It was another month before he felt anything but that wasn't the point.

Sorry for the mammoth post, it's just I could have written your message six weeks ago and it is so much better now I've got a few techniques for dealing with it.

BTW, I also once sat at his feet and cried that I'd got this bump and it keeps kicking me and it's going to turn in to a baby and I'm scared about being huge and giving birth and night feeds and being tired all the time and...and..and

He said later it really helped to know I was scared too and could see that all those things plus trying to keep normal life and work going is v hard.

Sorry, will stop rambling now!

Hi Tibbo,

Don't worry, it's completely natural to be feeling this way. I am 21 weeks pregnant at the moment and definitely have days when I'm fine and other days when I'm feeling dreadful. Hormones are surging through your body, and you are bound to be feeling very emotional and scared! You're DH is also probably feeling anxious and emotional with your newborn on the way. He might also be doubting his ability as a new daddy, these are scary times.

Try to go with your feelings and don't beat yourself up about things. Just accept that these next few months will have their ups and their downs. We are all in the same boat, I am constantly bickering with my DH about silly things. Just make sure you have some cuddles after, and try and talk about your insecurities and anxietes..it will make you feel a whole load better.

Best wishes, Leila

Thank you so much ladies, i've started welling up just reading those posts.

We've also got a few other things going on at the moment which just arn't helping, so hopefully i'll start to feel better over the next week or so.

Thank you again
Tibbo xx