Hi all - wasnt sure where to post this thread but thought i would plonk it here and see what happens.
Ok - some of you will already know my background - im 31, married with dd who is nearly 3, 9 weeks pregnant with number 2.
Basically, the last 2 weeks i have started to feel quite low. I had pnd after having dd and am very aware of my moods. I am overly anxious about most simple things but my main problems at the moment are:
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DH is a teacher and rarely around when i need him. Even if he is physically near me, he is always busy working and we rarely spend an evening together. I have put up with this for 3 years and am fed up. I've tried talking to him countless times but nothing really changes. He is a wonderful dad to our dd but i just really need him as a husband atm. Im feeling very vulnerable, scared (of getting pnd again) and lonely. I have few friends who i could talk to.
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Work - i started a part time job in July and i hate it. I only work 2 days one week and 3 days the next - its an admin job. I feel extremely inadequate when with other women, even tho we are all the same age i resort back to being an awkward, giggly, nervous teenager type figure who has no confidence and who agrees with everyone just so as not to get any attention. I hate myself being this way but i cant help it. I work with 7 other women who are all (on the outside) confident, professional, intelligent women. I am not anything like them. The nature of the job itself is very intense and i am finding it very hard trying to learn it as well as settle in with the office side of things. I have joked about this on the Employment Issues thread but i am seriously hating it and since i found out i was pregnant i have lost all interest in it (not that i had much to start with). I want to work and have done since dd was 4 months old but i just cannot stand this job.
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DH has recently found out that his father is quite ill. MY dad died 4 years ago and my FIL has been like a dad to me - i am very upset about this but dont really feel that i can show this as he's not MY dad. I am trying to be as supportive as I can to DH (who is a very senstive person at the best of times) and dont want to make matters worse for him by getting upset myself.
Sorry ive gone on too much - basically not really writing this to get replies, just wanted to get it all out of my head and onto a thread where i can just read it and make sense of it.
I am a very lucky person and am extremely grateful to have one gorgoues dd and another baby on the way - i realise that i have no real reason to complain but im just having a bad day and wanted to have a rant so thanks to those of you who have taken the time to read this! XX