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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

20wk scan tomorrow - shall we find out the sex?

18 replies

soppypreggyloon · 08/12/2010 12:52

i can't decide!

dh wanted to and so persuaded me (i didn't really want to) and i was ok with that.
however he now can't decide either and neither can i!

should we find out? did you? how did you decide?

FWIW with ds we didn't find out. but dc2 is so different isn't it! :)

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PureAsTheDrivenShow · 08/12/2010 12:54

It's up to you. Nobody can decide for you.

But another option is to ask them to write it down and put it in an envelope for you. Then you can decide later.

Or you might have a dc like I did who kept their legs firmly clamped shut at all times even though we'd decided to find out.

Some people find out, some don't. Depends what is right for you.

stargirl30 · 08/12/2010 12:54

don't forget that it's not 100%, it just gives you more of an idea. So you could still have a surprise!
we found out with dd and probably will with dc2 as well.
stargirl x

sam26oscar · 08/12/2010 12:58

hi,
i'm on pg#2 and we didn't find out with the first or this one!! Just wanted to have fun trying out all the old wives tales and keeping everyone guessing!! Also in my own opinion, i find it a little bit of an anti climax when baby is born if you know the sex, as its kind of yeah we knew it was going to be a girl/boy, its just the weight and date.. sometimes you even know that too!!! Don't get me wrong its still lovely news to hear a healthy baby has been born

PureAsTheDrivenShow · 08/12/2010 13:02

I don't understand how any part of having a baby can be an anti climax. The baby's gender is almost irrelevant to this scrunched up, screaming, tiny, beautiful child that arrives into the world and changes your life forever. Ditto the weight and date. All just words and numbers.

Deciding when to find out the gender is just a bit of fun for the most part and neither makes nor ruins surprises.

expectingno3 · 08/12/2010 13:06

Nooooo! Though if your sonographers are anything like mine, regardless of asking not to tell us, she was extremely keen to keep saying 'ohh its really displaying itself...' read into what you will, but as I need a few more scans I fully expect one of them to let it slip. Its so tempting but worth the surprise.

sh77 · 08/12/2010 13:06

I didn't find out the first time around and was convinced it would be a boy. It was a girl and I super delighted but felt guilty that I had imagined a boy along. This time, convinced I was having a girl but asked for gender this time - it is a boy!

It is lovely knowing as I think of the baby in real terms and not something I imagine it to be.

Original poster

soppypreggyloon · 08/12/2010 13:11

i'm leaning towards finding out as a friend who is about 30 weeks now found out at her scan and suddenly realised she had been bonding with the wrong gender - she just assumed it would be a girl like their first child. she admitted to feeling weird about it and although she's happy its not what she had imagined and i think it took her a little while to adjust to it.
i'm worried i'm assuming its a boy like ds and i'll have to do all that re-adjusting when dc2 arrives.

we're having an elcs (unless i meet an amazingly persuasive consultant at 36 weeks) so will know the date so if we found out we would lose some of that surprise bit.

oh i'm so indecisive when i'm pg!

OP posts:

Smiler80 · 08/12/2010 13:39

It's a personal choice - but personally I would be absolutely unable to wait for the birth to find out the sex if I could have found out 20 weeks earlier! I'm only 9+5 now but can't wait to to know whether it's a boy or a girl :)

FindingAManger · 08/12/2010 13:45

its my 20 week scan tomorrow with DC2 too - I didn't with DD, but was tempted this time for practical reasons (we're running our of space - do I need to ditch the girls stuff or not), but I've pretty much decided not to find out. I have no preference & think it's lovely to know on the day after all that hard work.

Whatever you decide, I hope the scan goes well

girlafraid · 08/12/2010 14:23

It's entirely up to you whether you want the surprise now or in 20 weeks time.

Personally I found giving birth pretty surprising in itself - was not at all disappointed that i already knew!

buttonmoon78 · 08/12/2010 14:23

I have not found out with any of my 3 and I won't with this one either. The curiosity is all consuming but that moment when you look and see for yourself what it is is truly amazing.

I'm another vote for no!

EweArghhBeeInkUnderbobble · 08/12/2010 15:53

Yes find out!

JoEW · 08/12/2010 16:01

I have just had my 20 week scan and didn't find out. I had always said I wouldn't but did have a bit of a waver. Stuck to plan A in the end and decided not to know. I like the idea of having a nice surprise after the pain of getting the baby out!

Natzer · 08/12/2010 17:40

I had my 20 week scan last week and we had decided to find out, however the DC decided that it would sit with its legs crossed and refuse to budge! At the time I was gutted, but now I am quite happy about it. I am a bit of a shopaholic and had I have known I would have a full wardrobe now in one colour or other, and its likely that the DC wouldnt wear most of it as it may not fit or will be for the wrong time of year etc.

So am nice and chilled about it now, just cant wait to go shopping once he/she is here in April.

rubybambini · 09/12/2010 00:15

We had the radiographer write it down inside an envelope, and it's still there, unopened, three weeks later! I think because 'we can', we're just not interested. Maybe have him / her write it down then open on Christmas Day as a compromise =)

phonix · 09/12/2010 00:39

Having the same dilemma with DC3 - scan is on Friday. Haven't found out with first two (which I don't regret) and DH is adamant we follow the tradition and do the same again. As we have one of each, for me it's tempting to do things differently this (last) time around. I quite like ruby's idea....might suggest it to DH.

Original poster

soppypreggyloon · 09/12/2010 08:39

eek! i think we're gonna find out!

IF dc2 is in a good position that is!

BUT i'm not telling anyone else if we do find out!

OP posts:

ChristianaCatesby · 09/12/2010 08:43

I found out with DD1 and NOT with DD2...

I have to say that I preferred NOT knowing, it was such a wonderful surprise (particularly as I had to have a caesarian because she was breech)

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