Only pregnant person and feeling out of touch with my friends

[melwood]

Hi, I'm 30 and going through my first pregnancy. I've always put a lot of importance on socialising with my friends. However, none of them are pregnant/have children, in fact a lot of them are single. Now that I'm not drinking and I'm tired a lot, I'm suddenly feeling quite lonely. I do still get invited out but it's to bars/parties that involve lots of boozing, and I just don't fancy going along to drink a sparkling water while they get progressively louder and drunk.

I get the impression they think I've become boring, and I'm beginning to resent them a bit. To be honest I could just do with knowing some other pregnant women who would rather hang out and watch a film, go for a walk or catch up for dinner but I know no one locally. My poor husband is experiencing a new clingy side to me when he's used to a much more independent woman. Help! Has anyone else experienced this feeling?

When I was pg with DD 4 years ago, I could feel several of my close friends slipping away. I built stronger friendships with people who had previously been just acquaintances simply because they had children, were pg, or were TTC. But I really missed my old friends.

Well, 4 years later, and the closest friends are still around. We have different friendships now, and I've learnt what does and doesn't work with some of them (one in particular loves DD, wouldn't have one of her own, but just adores being around mine, whereas another really isn't comfortable around DD so when we meet up I go alone). There are some I hardly see anymore, their lives in London, which still match what mine was before, are now so far removed from my lifestyle that it proves impossible to meet up. But through email and FB we maintain regular contact, and I'm sure that, when things ease up, we'll pick up where we left off.

So don't lose hope for your existing friends. You are changing, and one of 2 other things will change - either they, in time, will make the same lifestyle choices you have, or your friendship with them will alter slightly. But as someone earlier said, you don't need to lose the connection to your old life with which they provide you.

Oh I feel so sad for you all!! I'm sending you and your lovely baby bumps big hugs!!

I know I've already posted about it, but if you use the event finder on the nct site it should come up with the coffee morning thing. whispers I don't think you have to be a member to go

And then there's here www.netmums.com/boards/Local_Meet_a_Mum.408/

And don't worry, about making friends afterwards, just go to loads of groups and don't be shy about starting conversations - most mums have been in your position!!!

And if anyone's in brighton I'm happy to go for a coffee :)

I'm 28, first baby (due Feb the day after my 29th b-day) and also in SW London...! Already feed up of everyone getting pissed on cocktails..On Friday nights, my friends are having one-night stands and i'm going home earlier to read baby books with a hot choc..! Feel so un-rock and roll..

Would love to meet other young mums...a bit worried that I'll be the youngest at NCT. At the hospital everyone is about 7 years older than me...!!!

Wow, thank you all so much for your replies, I'm genuinely overwhelmed by the warm response I've had from each of you!

OK so I'm definitely going to start pregnancy yoga and look into NCT stuff ahead of the coruse starting in Feb.

It seems a lot of you are in London which isn't suprising given how different life can seem here, everyone seems to start families so much later down this way!

I'm in North London if anyone fancies catching up xx

P.S. Off to a crazy house party with about 40 other mostly single drunk people tonight, wish me luck!

I'm kind of feeling the same. I'm pregnant with my third, and although I have lots of friends who have children, they've finished having children after 2 so I know no-one who is pregnant. I'm particulary feeling it in the run up to Christmas with all the parties and nights out. I've even investigated refresher courses with the NCT but the ones around here are running at a time when I cannot get childcare for my other children.

Reading this while at debauched house party in country. I am upstairs in bed, can hear 19 drunk friends dancing downstairs...

PipPipPip - haha! Hope it went well. My house party went OK in the end, hung around until a very drunk large man held my husband's face and told him he looks like Brad Pitt and thought "OK time to go!!"

PipPipPip ohhhh debauched house parties...how I miss them At least you can be smug this morning!

Mel so does your DH look like Brad Pitt??

SnowMummy Do your DC know you are having another baby?? I think doing a refresher course is a really good idea. If for nothing else to meet some new mums. Also with having 2 already I can see you becoming the Alpha Mummy...which might be quite nice??!!!

Dreading this afternoon, off to Sunday Lunch's at a friends house, She's 29, never to my knowledge had a boyfriend, gagging to get hitched and would love to have a baby. When I speak to her, all she keeps saying is 'when the baby arrives I wait the first cuddle...! and it will be a boy'( we don't know want we are having) Driving me nuts, but at least she's interested. Unlike my other friends. She's an amazing cook so that should smooth the blow with DH..!

Highlandgirl - Yes, my other 2 have known from very early on. I'm 29 weeks now and rather large. I would really like to do the refresher course, but the NCT do not allow you to take siblings!

Snowmummy but surely the whole point of a refresher course is that you can dump leave the kids in a next door room for a few hours to play and make new friends which you're 'refreshing'...I think NCT are missing a trick. No doubt due to some silly health and safety madness.

Completely agree highlandgirl!

Haha he has the look of him if that makes sense, blonde hair, blue eyes, handsome features. I'm a lucky lady but he definitely gets more attention than I do!!!