31+4 and bump constantly tight

[anne74]

I'm after a bit of advice. As the title says, I'm 31+4 and feel like my bump is in a constant state of contraction. It's not painful but can be uncomfortable.

I am under a fair bit of stress as my father passed away on Tuesday after a week in hospital and I was spending 12-13 hrs with him each day. I'm pretty sure I'm not as well hydrated as I could be and I'm exhausted.

Is it normal for the bump to feel absolutely rock hard at this stage?

My other question is about starting mat leave early. I'm due to finish on 23rd December and am obviously off at the moment. I'm planning to go back next week but then will need 2-3 days off the following week (13-15) for my fathers funeral. I live in London and this is all going on in York. I'm quite tempted to ask to finish on 16/17 December so a week early. I would go back for one last day after the funeral. I feel like it will be hard to really get much done when I'm only there for a couple of days here and there and that it might be better to take the time and rest.

I'd be really grateful on your thoughts about these two issues.

Thanks x

Bump

Not a fountain of knowledge I'm afraid, but just to say I have had the same thing since about 28 weeks. Perhaps someone with more experience will be along soon.

Sorry to hear about your father. Make sure you look after yourself.

Being dehydrated will make it tight. Not sure about the other stuff - sorry.

And sorry to hear about your father. Sounds like you've been having a testing time. Please try and take care of your health.

So sorry for your loss, sounds like you're going through such a lot at the moment. I'm afraid I don't know about the bump tightness, but I'm sure your midwife won't mind one bit if you call and ask. I think you should try and be as kind to yourself as possible, so goign on maternity leave earlier sounds very sensible. Maybe your employers would give you compasionate leave so you don't have to rush back from York after the funeral.

I really hope you get through next week OK. Take care of yourself x

I don't think your bump should be permanently tight. I think it is common during or after exercise (and could be a sign that you are over doing things).

I would suggest that you listen to your body and decide if you really need to slow down and rest. If you can get compassionate leave, I would take it and see how things go. I am really sorry about your loss. My father died when I was in the early weeks of pregnancy. It is a very difficult time.

You probably know what you need to do. In terms of the tightening, I agree about checking it out with the MW, but you need to look at it also in the context of the broader life stressors you are experiencing.

Sounds like you might need to take things easy. All the best

Thanks for your support. I was supposed to have seen the midwife 10 days ago but had to cancel the appointment because of rushing up to York. I will ring her on Monday to see when she can fit me in so I can check everything out. I'm sure that I was overdoing it while Dad was in hospital but I didn't really have a choice. He was admitted on 23rd and they didn't expect him to survive the first night. Every day was expected to be his last and on Saturday (27th) they started him on a palliative care pathway. They were still amazed that he survived as long as he did. A total fighter apparently. It meant though that I had to spend as much time as I could there as we never knew when he would go. Thankfully my husband came up to York and made sure that I went to bed each night and also took a break in the afternoon. It was all very full on though.

I now feel so totally exhausted and the idea of going back to work at all is very uninspiring. It will only really be to make sure things are in a position for someone else to take over (if and when they find someone to cover me). I'll be in college on Monday to finish off a course I'm doing then in work for 2 days. I've then got to go to a funeral with my husband on Thursday next week with Friday off to rest. Saturday is our first NCT class which is all day and then we've got to work out whether to drive up to York that night or the following morning ready for the funeral which is all day Monday. I've told my mum that she will need to make sure there is somewhere I can go and rest during the day. The issue may be making myself make use of it. We'll then come back to London the following day and I'll take Wednesday off to recover going in to work the following day just for closure and to say goodbye. That's my plan though if my boss will agree to it. When I put it on 'paper' it looks totally hectic and exhausting but I don't know how I can do it any differently.

All the time I have taken so far will be classed as compassionate leave so that's not too much of a problem. I've agreed this with my boss and I'm expecting the time taken around the funeral to be the same.

I'm quite sure this will be taking it's toll on the pregnancy but I don't know what to do differently. I feel so sad at the moment with regards losing my Dad and just want to curl up in a corner for a bit but I know I have to keep going and not 'go under'. It's hard though.

You poor thing my heart goes out to you. I can see how it might seem there's no option but attend work, nct and the Thursday funeral but if you want to just curl up in a corner for a bit, just do it. For example The nct teacher would, I'm sure, be very understanding and give you the handouts etc at a future session. I'm near the end of my nct course and the pace of it is very slow you won't miss loads, it's nothing you can't catch up with. I'm sure your doctor would sign you off sick for a couple of days so you could rest on Tuesday and Wednesday. Even if it doesn't feel like it's possible there's always options, please consider putting you first, your welfare is much more important than work, the course, or nct. Pregnancy is exhausting enough and you have so much on your plate. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers x

Just thought I'd say that I was assessed on labour ward today. I've missed my 31 week appointment due to being with my dad and one of the midwives I sometimes see suggested that I go to the maternity assessment unit and just get checked over there. So after 2 hours waiting to be seen, they sent me up to labour ward as she felt I would need to be reviewed by a doctor due to these tightenings.

Anyway, they put me on the monitor for 30 minutes and there were loads of contractions being picked up. The heartbeat trace was described as perfect which is reassuring. The doctor had a look at the trace and checked out my cervix and was happy that it's all just braxton hicks. I questioned the frequency of them but they said this can be quite normal.

The midwives were absolutely lovely and I even got a sneak preview of the birth centre which was quite exciting.

They just said that I need to take it easy as much as I can and to go back if there's any bleeding, or pain which isn't resolved by paracetamol, or if I think my waters might have gone.

In terms of starting my mat leave early, I just have to hope that my boss is sympathetic. Our policy states that I'm supposed to give 28 days notice if I want to change the date of my mat leave but ultimately I guess i can always go off sick if they don't agree to it. To be honest, I would happily not go back at all.

I can't not go to the NCT class this weekend as we're doing a 2 day course only so I will miss half of the course if I don't go.

I'm going to try and do some relaxation each day and really try to put this baby first. It's hard though as I feel like there's so much still to do before this baby arrives but when I stop to think about it I realise that actually, the baby will be in our room to start with so if the nursery isn't ready it won't be the end of the world.

Thanks for all your support xx