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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

How to conceal not drinking over christmas with work colleagues??

35 replies

EllaA · 28/11/2010 11:24

Hi, I've just found out that I am about 7 weeks pregnant (first one), am incredibly happy as ttc for 18 months. i'm really worried about how to keep it a secret from people over the next month. I work in the City in quite a masculine (and boozy) environment and i know there was a lot of speculation behind my back when i got married 2 years ago that i would be getting pregnant and leaving the job which made me really furious. I have at least 3 formal work dinners/lunches over the next 3 weeks which will be sit-down affairs (champagne at the door, wine all through meal, pub drinks afterwards). I don't want to skip them as they are important work events and I don't want to generate any speculation at all about not drinking given how misogynist they are! I also have a bunch of social events that i can't refuse (brother's birthday etc). I was out with DH and friends last night and felt really guilty just drinking a half pint of weak bitter. What should i do?? I read older threads on the usual excuses - antibiotics (rather obvious), driving (doesn't apply), dieting (very unlike me), recovering from hangover (will only work once)....so it seems deception is the only way forward. Anyone got any cunning ideas about how to do it at a sit-down meal though??! Thx xxx

OP posts:
yellowflowers · 29/11/2010 13:22

I agree with toothache and the antibiotic you are not allowed to drink with (they give it to alcoholics so they get sick if they drink).

Can you start moaning about toothache beforehand and perhaps take a cheeky day off (go on, you deserve it!) and pretend to go to the dentist too. That way it seems real.

cowboylover · 29/11/2010 19:05

Its not easy but I work for a brewery and as you can imagine Beer everywhere!!

I made them feel guily for questioning my not drinking when they should be supporting promoting sensible drinking!

Most people know now that the antibyotics thing is crap as it was even on QI that you can on 90%

TransatlanticCityGirl · 29/11/2010 19:36

It's a lot easier to get caught out than I ever expected - I was astounded the first 3 times I went out how quickly people started guessing that I was preggers. Here's a few tricks that have proven quite successful since:

The Desperate Housewives Manuevre
(inspired by Lynette & Tom Scavo's business dinner outing, but much more expertly executed)

I told a close and very discreet colleague the truth, and she has been my partner in crime ever since. When we go out for work drinks, we always order the same drink. She drinks quite quickly, and I sip super duper slowly. I put my drink on the bar, she puts her drink on the bar, and when she reaches for another sip, oops! She takes the wrong glass, leaving me with a 1/4 to 1/2 full glass.

It's my round
This can get expensive but sometimes it's worth buying the round, then you can order yourself a mocktail or tonic water with lime and no one will be the wiser.

Toilet Break
I sometimes take my full glass of wine to the toilet with me and miraculously emerge with a 1/2 empty glass. Sometimes I keep a bottle of water in my handbag (sparkling is better if possible) and make myself a nice light spritzer while I'm there.

I think the trick is, never say no to at least 1 glass. If you can convince people you've had 1-2, it's a lot easier to "slow down" than if don't drink at all. The antibiotics trick will work once, but you'll need to prove yourself a proper alcoholic the next time you're out so use with caution. The "already hungover" excuse does work too. Finally, it's always good if you can behave as though slighly drunk already (requires decent acting skills).

Good luck!!!

EllaA · 29/11/2010 20:01

Ladies thanks so much for your helpful - and hilarious replies! I am almost definitely being too paranoid about what people will notice but when I already found out they speculated about my private life behind my back it's easy to think they do it all the time!! Makes me feel a lot better to hear all your advice...I have cancelled the least important dinner, will have DH (who has been coached TWICE about what to do) with me the second one, and then the third one I will battle through with some sleight of hand etcetera....will let you know how i get on. xx

OP posts:
oggybags · 29/11/2010 21:06

understanding your environment I would take all the drinks offered and loose them, i became very good at clinging to a single glass of fizz, being the one to do the top ups and not myself etc etc 4 drinks in theryre pissed and wont have a clue!
for those who say 'just say no' if you like to drink usually, esp in a certain business environment its just odd!

sue101 · 30/11/2010 18:59

Loving some of these ideas. I only have 2 more days until 12 week scan & will start to tell people so wish I'd had some of these tactics sooner! I found the "ooh you're pregnant aren't you" comments and nudges in the past really annoying (when I wasn't even pregnant, just didn't fancy drinking!)and have ended up avoiding a lot of events just so I don't have to make excuses. One tactic that hubby and I devised at a boat party with hard-core drinking relatives worked quite well though. In front of everyone I would ask hubby to order me a gin and tonic from the bar and he'd come back with tonic water. Doesn't taste great but looks convincing. I also threw in some silly 'drunken' dancing moves later in the evening. Good luck for the xmas season!

SandStorm · 30/11/2010 19:06

When I was expecting my first I was working in London. Christmas was looming with the big works do. I was lucky in that one of my colleagues wife fell pregnant at the same time. I trusted him and he very kindly kept 'picking up the wrong glass' at dinner. I was seen to be accepting drinks and the level in my glass was consistently going down.

Of course that only works if you have a colleague you can a) trust and b) has a great capacity for alcohol as he continued to drink his own at normal rate!

Blu · 30/11/2010 19:08

I was well known for being in our cafe holding a beer bottle - so that's what I did. Bought one bottle, poured half down the toilet, walked round with a half full bottle, occasionally being seen to 'drink' from it.

lapislazuli · 06/12/2010 20:36

Glad I found this thread, was going to start a new one but I knew this old chestnut would have come up before.
Ella, I am in a similar situation to you, got a sit-down do this week and am stressing myself silly about what to say! Mine is only a small do, so it means it'll be a lot more obvious if I start making excuses, so think I'm going to just accept a drink and hope no one notices (but no chance to take it to the loo or swap glasses!). I might even have a few sips but will see how the evening flows.
Have even thought about just telling my boss this week my news just so I can get it out there and over and done with, because I am such a rubbish liar.
I agree though it's sad in this country you can't just say "not for me" without raising a few eyebrows and sparking gossip. Abroad no one would give a damn.

MumNWLondon · 06/12/2010 20:40

I always took drink and then just had little sips / or managed to tip it away.

Actually at the moment I am on a diet (to loose baby weight!) and said no to all drinks because of calories.

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