When to spread the news...?

[Smiler80]

Hi everyone,

I am only 7 weeks pregnant - can't wait to get the next 5 weeks over with and having my first scan done!

We want to wait until we know everything is OK before spreading the news (other than to my parents). My combined NT + blood scan is scheduled on the 23rd of December, so I've been imagining telling everyone around Christmas time (am I getting ahead of myself here? )

However, I am starting to realise it may take a while for results to come back after the test. I wonder what all of you out there who are a bit further along have done? Do you crack open the champagne and tell everyone when you've seen the baby wriggling about on screen? Or do you wait for results - and if so how long does that take? I imagine with Christmas & New Year's in the way that might be an unbearably long time to keep my mouth shut (and not show anyone I'm not drinking!).

I am just 7 weeks too, but there's no way I would be able to keep it a secret during the Christmas party season. My friends would smell a rat the instant I switched to lemonade!

So I have already told my parents, DH's parents, all our siblings and about 5 close friends.

I have stressed to everyone that it's early days and I'll be waiting until after we get the scan/blood results until we think about telling anyone else.

I think the results usually take around 2 weeks, but I'm sure it'll be longer over the holidays. It's gonna be a long few weeks of waiting for us both!

I couldn't wait. Most people I was close to knew quite early on for various reasons e.g. had holiday booked with friends at 9 weeks and couldn't explain not drinking, mum got excited and has big gob etc, so in the end everyone found out. Didn't tell work/official poeple til after results back etc.

Way I saw it was that all the people I told were people who I wouldn't mind knowing if (god forbid) I had a miscarriage. After all, that is what the whole point of waiting is, so that if you do have an early miscarriage you don't have to tell people(?) Personally, most of the poeple who knew were people I wouldn't hide this from. I'm sure like me, that everything will be fine. It is a matter of personal preference who you tell and when. Don't feel too bound by convention. x

I am 16 weeks tomorrow, and I have only told my parents and one friend thus far. I told my yoga teachers out of necessity as I do yoga 5-6 times per week. We haven't even told my MIL or SIL yet, as DH wants to surprise them over X-mas! Luckly, I have only gined 3 pounds and do not show yet. I am very supersticious though and prefer to not tell people until I get my 19 week scan out of the way (will probably show by then :))...

I know it's very hard to wait! I am personally a bit in two minds about telling people close to me, but what clinches it for me is that we don't want to tell DH's young daughter until it's about as sure as it can be, yet we do not want her to be last to know, or god forbid find out from anyone else!

Sounds like I may need to compromise though and just wait for the scan itself. The more I think about it the less likely it looks I can keep my mouth shut over the festive season :)

When we found out, we only told our families and 2 very close friends. Now I'm 16 weeks, but we're still not telling everybody, but that has mainly to do with the fact that I'm trying to get a job at the moment - I work in science, which is a very small world, so I'd rather be the one who informs prospective employers than them hearing it through the grapevine.
But we've started telling more of our friends now, gradually.
Once I've had my 20-week scan and everything looks good, I'm fine with everyone knowing.

But I know what you mean - I found it so difficult to keep quiet!

I told a close friend and then spilt the beans to the family at around 17 weeks.

We had the NT scan with combined bloods and got results straight away. We had to go private because it's not covered on the NHS so don't know if that makes a difference when you get the results.

The clinic sent me a blood form which I took to the doc's for a sample to be taken the week before the scan. I posted the sample off to a clinic in London. When I then went for my scan they had my blood results which they combined with the scan measurements, age, weight etc. They then printed off my results there and then.

Just to note also that it took a couple of goes to get the scan measurements as baby was in a difficult position. They managed to get it on the third go (after walking round a bit, drinking water etc) but I nearly had to rebook the appointment and I think this is quite common.

Had the NT scan with DS1 (privately) and like jcp123 got the results straight away, so hopefully you would be able to tell people for Xmas.
Agree with previous posters though, by all means tell family and close friends if you would not mind them knowing you had a miscarriage if the worst happened.
And congratulations!

Bloody hell!! Some of you have the patience of Gods. The very instant we saw our bub on the screen at 12 weeks I was sending out a mass text message to friends (parents, siblings and two best friends already knew). I personally think 3 months is long enough to wait and I found it very hard. Also I agree with some of the other posters when they say there's no harm in telling people who you don't mind knowing if something was to go wrong. I do think that the moment you pee on the stick is too quick to take to Facebook with the good news though.

I'm currently 10 weeks. I told my sister straight away on the basis that she (having done this 3 times before) would be an invaluable source of information over the coming weeks.

We told our parents and remaining siblings between 9-10 weeks after we had our first (private) scan.

I've also told 4 close friends. They are key players in some of my elaborate schemes to make people think I'm still an alcoholic ;)

However we've asked everyone to keep quiet until at least Christmas. By then we'll have had our 12 week NT scan.

If I can get away with not telling work until the new year I will do, but will play it by ear.

Wow jcp123 and brizzagirl - great you got the results immediately. I'm having the combined test on the NHS so they may not be as well organised, although they've been great so far.

I've got my booking appointment about 2 weeks before the scan, so perhaps they will take the blood samples then? Come to think of it I don't see why they wouldn't, but perhaps that is too much sense to ask for :)

We told people after the 12 weeks scan but before the NT results. I had told my mum when I was about 7 weeks but that's because I've had 3 miscarriages and some people need to be there to support you through the good and bad. After the scan we told everyone in order of importance so our 3 year old DD was next on the list.

Our hospital tells you the results of the NT scan and blood test in 1 - 2 weeks by post, however they say they will phone you if you get high risk results within 3 working days.

Like Smiler80 our decision is being affected by the feelings of another small person. DD is 3 1/2 and desperate for a baby brother (have no idea how we're going to let her down if it turns out she's going to have a sister!). I'm currently 7 weeks, starting to show, suffering chronic nausea, and having to make excuses for not drinking. But she needs to be one of the first to be told, and I don't want to say too early as I'm not sure how we would then explain to her if anything went wrong.

Other half is still peed off with me for having told my closest friend. And I'm still peed off with myself for having walked into his cleverly laid trap and revealed that I'd told her!

This time around I told PIL day I got +ve test and told DH & DS. I told my parents the following week (they live further away and I was going to visit them anyway so waited so I could do it face to face). I'm not having scans or screening tests so theres no results to wait for before telling everyone and am happy telling everyone close to me straight away.

If things don't work out and I lose the baby I'd much rather have the support of friends and family than go through it on my own. I've done the same with all my pregnancies (3 previous - 2 m/c and my DS). Each m/c it was hard breaking the news to people, but the hugs and kind words I got really helped.

We told everyone after the 12 week scan (didn't wait for the blood test results) but if that's important you should get some idea of the risk from the nuchal fold measurement at the scan anyway.

I'd already told my mum and sister as soon as I found out as like many people if something had gone wrong they are the people that would be best able to support me.

Now we've had the 20 week scan (yesterday) I've mentioned the sex on facebook as I'm happy for a wider group of people to know. I know some people think it's crass to do it on facebook but there you go!

Yes Smiler80 the NT results did come straight away and we were really happy with them so it was a big relief.

You are lucky you can get the test done on the NHS. We had to pay £200 so I expected some specialist scanner or something (hoped to see a bit more detail of buba) but no, it was the same as in the NHS hospital.

It's a shame you have to wait for results though because if it's less favourable(and I really hope yours is not), you need to discuss the options with someone.

Wow £200 is a lot considering that you are supposed to be offered these tests on the NHS in the first place! Lucky us :)

Lucielooo I don't see anything wrong with putting it on Facebook. It can be hard to talk to everyone individually! And I'm sure you'd tell the people you really want to share it with first anyway.

I told my immediate family and friends as soon as I knew I was pregnant, because if the worst happened, these same people would be expected to give me support through the sad times.

Everyone else was after 12 weeks - I was starting to show by that point anyway so if I hadn't have told them then they would have guessed.

Couldn't help telling people - was throwing up so often most people had guessed by 6 weeks at work - decided not to bother trying to hide it but have said "it might not stick though" etc... I like having the support there if things go wrong as I tend to have rather dramatic miscarriages - which work mates know about from last time - so they are there for me.
Didn't tell my mother until the viability scan, but told PIL fairly quickly as DP needed their support after/during last miscarriage - I was out of it on a drip and morphine so it was his call!

I am also 7 weeks and most of my friends know, also my Mum and my sister. I had to tell friends as I asked them to mind my other DC during early scans.

We haven't yet told MIL, FIL or BIL. Mainly as I am at fairly high risk of miscarriage (although we have seen a heartbeat on the scan) and I miscarried last time and MIL was extremely upset. They live abroad and won't find out from anyone else. We will probably tell them after our 12 week scan, although due to a late loss earlier this year I am sadly all too aware that things can go wrong at any time. I just think they'd be upset if we waited any longer than 12 weeks.

I'm 16 weeks and only hubby knows. Only got results of Downs test few days ago (low risk) - took lot longer than i thought to come back so wouldn't have told before then anyway. To be honest i could probably keep it to myself for another 3 or 4 weeks - not desperate to tell anyone despite being excited about it and it being a planned pregnancy. I was the same with daughter - was nearly 19 weeks when told family/friends - had a mc last year and only told 2 close friends not family - guess up to individual