SPD caused by cake eating (according to my father...)

[RedZuleika]

My father rang me today, to see how I was - as my due date looms into view at the end of the week. I was grumping about the state of my pelvis: pain, unable to sleep properly, more pain, difficulty walking, lots more pain (you get the picture).

He asked me how much weight I'd put on. Why?? I pointed out that this had nothing to do with the pelvic problems. "It might do", he says.

I've put on two stone. He wants to know how much of that is likely to be baby. About 8lbs, I suggested. "Oh Christ", he says.

So - I really have my work cut out for me to save them the embarrassment of having a daughter who might have put on some weight whilst pregnant.

(Not sure I shouldn't have posted this in the relationship section... sniff...)

piglit lol at the dinner plate smashing notion. if ever a man deserved it...

ghosty - my mil says every time I see her -

goodness you're getting fat! when I was 9 months pregnant I weighed 8 1/2 stone!

when she comes this afternoon I might be waiting with a dinner plate in hand. no court in the land would convict me....

Two weeks ago as we were all leaving for the airport for our wedding my MIL said well you have not put too much weight on at the front but your arse is like the back of a bus!

I laughed and said actually I'm 6 mths now and have not put a pound on yet so mind you own bloody business. Just what I needed when I was concerned about looking nice in my wedding dress.

In fairness DP was upstairs and missed her comment had he heard it he would have gone mad!

My dads comment the first time he saw my bump was 'are you sure it isn't twins' .

Meanwhile since having dd, I have dropped a load of weight due to breastfeeding and my mum keeps asking if I am eating properly (think she thinks I have an eating disorder) .

Parents eh! Oooooh will we all turn out like that?!

My doctor - female, sadistic, you get the picture - told me in my first pregnancy 'the average woman only puts on a stone and half in pregnancy' and that as I'd put on a stone 'already' - by six months - I was clearly going to be a huge porky heifer who would never be able to fit through doors again. I went home and cried.

Irony I was I only did put on a stone and half. The cow.

God forbid!

Alas! My parents don't live anywhere near me. Generally, this is a good thing - until you want to break crockery over them...

The 'God forbid!' was directed at "Parents eh! Oooooh will we all turn out like that?!" btw.

I'm sure that's why the midwife is always positioned in a consulting room on the first floor of my GP's surgery - so that all those big porky heifers have to put in a bit of effort to get to her...

My dad is completey oblivious to my pregnancy and keeps asking me to go round and move his furniture around for him. When I tell him to ask one of my brothers instead he gets all Huffy and says theres nothing wrong with you doing it you are just lazy

I dread the thought that in thirty years my baby will be complaining about me like this.

Outrageous! Although my parents have picked next month to redecorate my old room at their house - and only yesterday my father (in the same conversation as his spd insights) was going on about our collecting my stuff or he'd bin it. I had a whole load of books there, which we collected a while ago (whilst I was pregnant) but since then my grandmother died, they've been away quite a bit, they were playing silly buggers and didn't invite us over, etc etc... We're taking the bookcases too, so we'll have to hire a van. I reiterate - my due date is this week. When exactly do they expect me to come down and do removals??

maybe you should ask them to move them as you are too busy beginning your diet/keep fit regime to ensure your svelte figure returns 48 hours after birth

My Mum is great she comes and helps me a lot and she is always shouting at my dad for being an Idiot even though they have been divorced for twenty years.

Good plan!

Don't get me started on my mother. A couple of weeks ago, in her last chance to speak to me before she went on holiday, she tried to emotionally blackmail me into giving up the home birth plan by saying that she'd just lost her mother, she didn't want to lose her daughter too... that 'everyone' was worried about me. etc etc.

Not a fact in sight. No insight into my clotting condition. No reasoned discussion - just pure knee-jerk reaction and 'doctor knows best'. Which considering the conflicting opinions I've received would be problematic to follow...

Ah the good old emotional blackmail always laid out when you are at your most vulnerable. And with the obvious medical degrees they get when being told they are going to be grandparents they are best qualified to advise you.

My consultant has told me I will need to have a C Section due to various previous surgeries and a fibroid problem I am due to see him next month to go over our plans.

MIL's opinion You should try to give birth naturally c sections are not normal (erm maybe not even possible)

Or at least go into labour for a day before section so you know what it feels like

I just told her I had seen enough video births to figure out that it hurts a lot and I was going to do what is best for the baby not me.

The woman knows all my medical history so I couldn't believe she could come out with such crap.

RedZuleika - it's our parents jobs to annoy the t8ts off us. Luckily our mammaries are larger than normal and fail to fall off.

OMG at your mum RedZ.
My first labour and birth was so smooth and lovely (at home) I invited my mum to come along and be there to help out with number 2. I thought it would be a bonding experience.

What was I thinking? Very big mistake.

She was more selfish than I thought was possible. My labour had a long, slow painful build up (probably because she was there in retrospect) and she said to my dh 'Why can't she just get on with it. I didn't have all this fuss and bother'.

Can I take this opportunity to wish you all the very best with your birth. Have you got your drinking straws in? It's thirsty work.

Yes - that's the problem with bonding experiences. You think it will be lovely - and then they just have to go and ruin it...

Thanks for the best wishes, Spidermama - just sitting around waiting for the off now. (With a whole box of drinking straws on hand.)

I got sacro-iliac pain at 15 weeks both pregnancies with this one had not put on a pound when I got it, it's about hormones relaxing your pelvic ligaments not how much you eat.

As for my mother and pregnancy related experiences, last pregnancy I saw my mother was at 23 weeks where she very nicely said I had put it on all round and was very big (had put on a stone at that point) she keeps telling anyone who would listen who big I was. The day I had DD the midwife said what a neat little bump I had. I put on 2 stone throughout my pregnancy lost this after about 6 weeks and then another stone on top of that (I did absolutely nothing to lose it) she then said "that I had better watch I was fading away - as if!) cannot win springs to mind!

LOL..! Does he not realise that along with baby is all other kinds of crap that needs to be there to feed baby etc!!??? Everyone puts on different amounts of weight which sometimes is beyond anyones control. I'm sure if men had to carry & make babies they wouldn't be so concerned about their weight. LOL they probably wouldn't even be concerned about their appearance once pregnant, probably just wander around in under pants as usual ..or is just my dh .. Sadly society being how it is makes us women so soncerned with our weight before during & after baby.!

Ahh - i think you'll find its because they didnt have SPD or any of these new fangled ideas in "their day".

My mum reckons id've been better off smoking in my pregnancies so that my babies werent so big.

Oh - and apparently i clearly have a low pain threshold because i had an epidural with my 1st.

I had nothing but gas and air with my 2nd - i dont go too far to prove a point do i?????

My step MIL is a retired Midwife who spent half her long career doing midwifery, the other half teaching student midwives. She refuses to acknowledge that SPD actually exists, reckons it's just normal aches and pains of pregnancy and can't understand why I am unable to walk towards the end of my pregnancies and am on crutches. She thinks I'm just making a fuss and being silly . Thank god the woman is retired. BTW, she has never had children of her own. . .Meanwhile, FIL keeps rabbiting on about women in the poor countries working in the fields until they drop and then going back to work immediately afterwards with their baby's strapped to their backs.

Yep - im pretty sure my parents first thought my SPD was down to my "inability to cope with pain".

Turns out, after it didnt get much better after DD was born that the SPD was caused/made worse by the fact that i have a malformed sacro iliac joint - its split into three, and ive had it since birth apparently.

On hearing this news my mother quipped "I suppose thats my fault too is it?" Gotta love the parental sympathy dontcha!

Only read bits of this, but wanted to say (in response to RosiePosie's last post) - don't you just love the way that women working in fields, having babies and carrying on is thrown up in so many pregnancy related subjects... SPD, hyperemesis, crippling afterpains (which were clearly not coping with pain, and not the huge pile of retained placenta that my friend had!).

I always want to scream, BUT WE'RE NOT IN FIELDS! Those with the extreme pain are probably banned from the village to either get over it or die quietly.

at all unsympathetic people!

Indeed flamebat! Its against the law for us to work 2 weeks after childbirth FOR A START!

Secondly, the Health visitor would have social services contacted the instant you started going to work in a field with a baby on your back.

Should you want to do that of course.........

Thirdly, in these countries where they do this, they also b/feed their children sometimes up to the age of 7 or 8 years old. I suppose that this is reasonable to expect of us too? (Cant see them suggesting that particular one myself).

This field working malarky is against the law/bounds of reasonability in this country so is such an invalid point! Grrrr

I got massive both times, but never got so much as a twinge of spd, so that's that theory out of the window eh?
Stupid man. Stupid, stupid man. YOu need Willow's two bricks (to bang together wherever the need is greatest). Aaargh.

ooh I've had the women in fields one too - fortunately in relation to me not thinking that the Edinburgh festival was suitable for a 5 month old baby rather than any physical pain.

Many sympathies to all those with unsympathetic "expert" relatives.