what is your top tip for labour?

[eddy26]

Hello hello

Well, tomorrow I will be 40 wks with number one. I am so excited to get to finally meet DD (some time in the next two weeks) but I am also getting a little apprehensive now about getting her out.... Please can you let me know your top tip for the actual labour?

DD is an IVF baby, and so, as I had no choice about how she got in there I dont, to be honest, feel very strongly about how she comes out. It's true that I would love a natural drug free water birth blah de blah but am fully prepared that child birth is one of the most unpredictable not to mention painful things and that it could go any way on the actual day. But I would love to be able to look back on it as a happy occasion rather than with a shudder of horror - if that's at all possible - so any tips would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

My top tip...go into the pain and don't be afraid of it. With my first, I feared it, and it was hard work. With my second, I went with the flow and it was a much easier experience. Yes, I know he was my second, etc, etc, but I'm sure my attitude helped.

You sound like you're very open in your approach, and quite honestly this is probably the best attitude to have.

I hope everything goes well.

I second Ishtar 'the fear'makes it a whole lot worse. If you can concentrate on the pain as a wave that is going to peak then subside and not worry about how many contractions you've got left to go it makes it mentally much easier. With DS2 it was all quite sudden so I didn't really get scared and just went with the pain and it was much more manageable.

I felt a lot like you with my DD, had a home birth planned, pool was up etc etc. Felt very strongly that birth was a natural process and that I wanted to be in control as it were...with an open mind.

Well....my tip is keep that open mind. the labour you envisage is never the one you get. So long as you stay calm and be open to changes that may happen you'll do great.

And make sure that you have a really supportive birth partner. I only wanted my DH and I was adament no-one else. But in hindsight he perhaps wasnt as "coaching" as i probably needed so make sure you have someone really supportive and encouraging.

And good luck, i went 11 days over and I was desperate to meet my DD by then. Lovely time of anticipation.

Trust your body and your instincts.

Medical science has very successfully got women to the point where we no longer believe we can get through birth without the experts and their equipment. And in some cases when there is a problem, that is true.

But for the majority of women, their body will what it needs to do to get the baby out safely. Let your body do what it needs to, and if you feel you want to walk around, kneel, sing, shout, whatever, then do it :)

Good luck, you'll be fine :)

Make sure your birth partner knows your wishes and is prepared to speak up for you. You can retreat into yourself and not be able to vocalise your wishes.

And have some sweets/snacks and juice in cartons that partner can feed to you to keep you going.

You sound as if you are already very well prepared and open-minded. I was very open-minded during both my pregnancies. With my first (IVF twins) I ended up with a planned C-section because they were both breech and I had pre-eclampsia - it was a fantastic experience. With my second (natural conception) I had a quick, drug-free natural delivery - and that was a fantastic experience too. I was worried about being able to deliver naturally after the C-section but my consultant said in many cases childbirth is a case of 'mind over matter' and a positive attitude, along with supportive birth partners can take you a very long way.

A very practical tip would be to take a sports bottle and get your birth partner to keep it topped up with cold water. Labour rooms are often hot and drying, and you need something you can grap for a few sips to keep you hydrated.

Good luck!

grap? grab

You're going into it with the right attitude. That's always my tip. To accept that in the end it comes down to sheer luck. You can prepare and do what feels right and listen to your body etc etc but ultimately you will get the experience that fate deals you.

And that applies to everything. The way you experience pain, your need for drugs, all of it. You don't pass or fail at labour and delivery. You don't do what you 'should', you do what feels right, what happens, happens.

Congratulations. You'll be just fine. The baby at the end is brilliant.

eddy26 - it sounds as if you have just the right attitude already - no one can really know what kind of labour they are going to have, and going with the flow (whether that means you end up with intervention or not) is probably the best thing. I'm sure you'll make the right decisions at each stage, depending on what level of pain you are feeling and the advice you may be receiving from midwives or any other medical staff (I'm not saying they are always right, but hopefully they will be considerate of you and you'll be in a position to weigh up what they are saying).

I wanted a home water birth and got one, but I had my hospital bag packed too - I was not sure I would be able to take the pain (am a total wimp), but TENS was excellent and dd was in a good position, so I was lucky.

Big tip for a long labour: there were two points in my fairly long labour where I began to feel if not exactly scared then certainly not sure how much longer I could go on. At each point I changed what I was doing to snap myself out of it. The first time I was probably about three centimetres, but it took quite a while to get there - I put on some music and had a bit of a jig around, and it got me out of my dip. The second time I'd been in the pool for about three hours, and it was lovely, but then I was close to transition, and it all got a bit much, so I got out and found that just being on dry land helped change my mindset.

I ended up with a long pushing stage (over two hours) and an episiotomy, but I look back on all of it with a happy glow. What I mean is it doesn't have to be either quick or entirely intervention free to be a positive experience. I know people who wax lyrical about their elective caesarians and others who loved the drugs, so each to their own.

Wishing you a very happy birth. x

Sorry - bit of an epic there - think I must be a bit of you about to experience it all.

Yes, I would second, or third the letting go of fear. It is 'only' pain, and it will end - so don't be scared of it. I think this type of attitude got me through my first birth. Remember there are (usually) gaps in between the pain, enough for you to catch your breath at least. And, each contraction is one step closer to meeting your lovely girl!

And, as sinking points out, a supportive birth partner is worth their weight in gold. DH is scared of all matters medical, but when push came to shove , he was fantastically encouraging.

And the openmindedness is a great tip, too. Do not assume that you will be able to birth in a certain way - be open to all types of pain relief.

And, if it at all helps, I didn't find birth half as bad as I had imagined (although it was a trouble-free delivery; it was only afterwards that the problems started!). In all probability, and with a little luck, you will do great, too. Good luck

And your baby hasn't read the book. Remember that too.

So if you don't have a pain free gap between contractions or the contractions last only 40 seconds or 3 minutes or your waters break early or don't break at all or only leak every now and then etc, it's all normal. There's average birth and then there's the degrees from which most women deviate in it in one way or another.

Definately bath early stages.
I agree with the go with the pain approach; I find myself visualising a wave or sometimes a hill I am climbing with each contraction when they get strong & it sees me through them. And after each one ends remember you are one step nearer the end. It can help if you deal with one contraction at a time as it avoids that "how much longer can this go on for?!" panic.
Finally I like to walk around a lot even if it does mean I am pacing up & down the delivery suite like a caged tiger.
Good luck, it sounds like you have a very sensible attitude towards labour so I'm sure you will cope well.

I found that counting during a contraction really helped - I never got to 20 ever! Also, my DH could count and if I tailed off he would pick it up and it focussed the mind and made me realise that the pain didn't last forever.

The other thing I would say is focus on the moment and not expect it to get any worse/go on for hours - I kept thinking if this pain goes on and gets worse for another X hours I can't cope... whereas in actual fact, my contractions kicked in quickly but never got any worse pain wise...

Also, never be disappointed by your birth at the end. As long as you are okay and your baby is healthy then thats all that counts - you can never tell which position your baby is going to be in/what your body is going to do...

gillykins i tried counting too, didnt you ever get those contractions though where you were like "16, 17, 18, 19...its not sssssstopppping yeowwwwwww. Oh no okay its stopped now"

Oh yeah and another tip...be prepared for the beastial type noises you may make. I really thought I was going to labour like a calmly and demurely and I was just mooing uncontrollably. Even in the street walking to the car. I couldnt believe it, the noises just came from no-where moooooooooooooooooooooooo.

mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Its a real picture isnt it

lol at counting - I got to 'many' and 'lots' when I was nearly there with DD's birth! Well over 20, for sure. It was helpful though. THere are contraction counter things on the interweb too, I liked them in the early stages.

You have a great start with your attitude, as others have said.

I found that in the earlier stages, recording the contractions gave me a focus. Feeling what was happening, doing what I needed to do to cope, and checking the time...

Later on I used TENS and gas & air with success, and got through several hours just being "within myself" and trying to perfect the right order of

• it's coming, ready on the TENS button
• when is the right time to take the G&A to get the effect when I need it?
• OK can stop sucking G&A like a madwoman now before I pass out
• TENS button - back to low level
• Gimme some water please
• Oh yeah, I could actually open my eyes now

And then a rest before the next one. DH was nearby but had to do very little - just make sure the water was topped up and Be There.

Have an elective c-section. I did and it was brilliant. Baby and I both relaxed and happy at birth. I plan to do the same this time round too.

Thank you all!!! This is great advice. I have printed it out and have sent a link to DH so he can remind me of all this when I am in the thick of it

eddy26 also, the other thing I learnt following a relatively easy labour and then the dreaded ventouse was during the pushing stage you have to push [like you are doing a poo] several times during each contraction. Its not enough to either blow out candles [which apparently you do if you want to slow things down!] or do a general puff and lie back and cry which is what I thought I had to do.

I pushed [well gently puffed and got more and more obnoxious!] for over 2.5 hours, they took the gas and air from me, got me out of the pool and then ended up with the ventous as DS started getting distressed so my learning is push as hard as you can, and as many times as you can during a contraction and don't worry about pooing yourself! Gross I know but it bothered me alot..... and eventually meant a medical intervention which I think I could have avoided!!!

Great thread! I'm in the same frame of mind as you Eddy as my little IVF miracle is due Friday.

My first choice is a water-birth, but I am completely trying to keep an open mind about everything, as you can plan so far but it seems that a lot of it comes down to chance... and I haven't got a clue about my pain thresh hold!

At the end of the day as long as my DD is safe and healthy that's whats the most important to me.

Good luck let us know how you get on.

Do the breathing thing - in through the nose for a slow count of 3, out through the mouth for a slow count of 5. Really helps diffuse the pain (possibly just because you are focussed on the counting ).

During a contraction, try and keep your limbs very relaxed. I think that if you tense your arms and legs as the contraction builds, you may feel the pain more intensely than if you can let go. I imagined the pain ebbing out from my fingertips and it did help.

Have a realistic birth plan, include some stuff you would like to happen, some stuff that can happen almost regardless of the birth (DH being first to hold baby; skin to skin contact with either self or DH depending on cirncumstances etc.) and some useful medical info for the MWs if necessary. That way you will feel that you had some positive input and control over the process - even if things don't turn out to be your absolute ideal eperience.

Good luck and enjoy yourself (in a weird kind of way).

I talked my 2nd baby out! Mostly in my head towards the end but I was calling him by the name I'd chosen - I must have instinctively known he was a boy - and kept on willing him out. I also 'accepted' every contraction and welcomed it because every one I had meant it was one less! Also, just when I had no energy left and I thought I couldn't go on my midwife stuck a spoonful of honey in my mouth and I could feel it surging through me restoring my energy ... all this and I'm not even a hippy!

It really was the most incredible expirience of my life made all the better for being at home. My first labour was horrendous, over medically managed 26 hours of me being petrified of everything and everyone around me. But by accepting the pain and stages of the labour next time around I feel I totally conquered it.

Good luck! very exciting times ahead x

On a more light=hearted note.....

JELLYBABIES

seriously! Instant sugar rush to keep you going. Easy to swallow. Fat free [!]. And, of course, the irony.

Great advice here on embracing the pain (that works too).

The Very Best of Luck!

Sounds like you're going into it with a great outlook - what a lucky baby to have such a sensible mummy!

3 tips from me (all garnered from mumsnet before I had dd!):

*take sports cap botles of lucozade (can be drunk at any angle and keeps your energy levels up);

• get your partner to give you firm massage at the bottom of your spine in a Y shape where the V part of the Y goes either side of your cocycx iyswim - the counterpressure really helps and the smell of the oil is nicer than that hospitally smell *practice different labouring positions with your partner before labour starts (if nothing else the laughter may send you in to labour!)and say to him that you will need him to help you move. My mw very wisely said that labouring women often say they're uncomfortable (yeah I know ) but won't actually move so it's down to your partner to help you get into a more comfy position when necessary.

Oh and have a nappy, vest, babygro and hat ready in a separate bag within your hospital bag for your partner to pass to the midwife to dress your baby in. Saves ferreting about and him going "and this one?" when all you want to do is lie back, drink tea and have a smug moment about producing a lovely baby

Good luck!