pregnant with donor eggs

[ninnybanks]

Hi all,

I was wondering if I could get any words of support..feel like I am going mad! My wonderful husband and I have been trying to conceiev for 5-6 years ...made it our mission in fact. Finally and with a lot of thought we chose the donor egg route (spanish clinic) and second time round I have fallen pregnant.

I expected this to make me the happiest women on the planet but since getting my positive result I have felt sick with worry, depressed, stressed, nervous and full of doubt that I have done the right thing. I guess I dont think I ever really expected it to work. I cant help worrying about the donor element and whether the baby will feel like mine. I have wanted this for so long and am so disappointed by my reaction. Added to this there is a lot of pressure for me to feel happy because everyone knows how much I have wanted this and for how long. I am just massively scared and want so much to feel excited...

If I am honest the whole idea of being a mum has suddenly lost its appeal as I worry about what is going to happen to my life now..I know its normal to have these fears but coupled with the stress of the donor element I feel like I am losing my mind!

Help me please? Anyone? x

I think your feelings about being pregnant are actually quite normal, especially after trying for so long and then it finally happening and you having to deal with the reality of it all. Friends of mine have worried a great deal about whether they would bond with their bio babies so that is normal too. I know three people with donor babies and they are all totally bonded and very happy (and all 5 of the babies are wonderful too). I read some interesting info. on (think it's called) epigenetics about how donor egg mothers still influence the baby's genes in the womb... it is more complicated than you just 'carrying' an egg. Your baby will be yours too and gradually your fears will pass.

I havent been in your situations but first of all many congratulations you are going to be a mummy. I guess it must be a very strange feeling but very soon that little egg will be growing because he/she is being looked after and fed by you their mummy.

I think it is a natural feeling to be all over the place when you first get pregnant everyone has doubts, worries ect. Trust me though as soon as that little person starts kicking you will fall in love.

You have travelled along this winding road and you are very nearly at the end and trust me the end will be the very best feeling in the world. You and dh are going to be blessed with a little baby who you have carried around fed and cared for what more could a little baby want.

All the best foryor future family x

gosh excuse the mistakes

Remember - the egg is a donation, the baby is all your doing, YOU will grow and nurture YOUR baby.

And yes, feeling scared and doubtful about parenthood is normal, your life is about to take a very different turn, but a positive one.

My first pregnancy was a complete shock to us, unplanned and at a point in our lives when we were not even thinking about being parents and I felt just like you described. It wasn't until I had my first scan that it hit me - I was carrying a baby, I was going to be a mother to this baby I could see on a screen but not yet feel.

Stop pressuring yourself, you have come a long way and part of your mind must be exhausted by thinking about it.

Good luck going forwards with your pregnancy.