Having a really bad day

[smaych]

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and for the whole first trimester I was practically bedridden with HG.

It's been getting a lot better lately and generally I've been so much more upbeat, but today I'm just having a total relapse and feeling sorry for myself.

I'm so fed up of all the "helpful" pregnancy/parenting advice that my family keep giving me, which is unasked for and unwanted and just makes me fed up with them.

I'm feeling really sick again, overwhelmed, anxious and scared, just generally having a really bad day.

Anyone else?

I'm feeling good today (am 38 weeks), but wanted to answer because I have had days where I have felt just the way you describe.

First of all, it is very normal - our hormones are all over the place and we are trying to adjust to such a major life change. Don't feel you have to be perfect, or appear perfectly happy all the time.

Be really, really nice to yourself. Have a bath, watch your favourite DVD, call a friend you haven't spoken to in a long while, eat some cake, have a nice dinner tonight... You deserve it. And you can always justify the pampering to yourself (not that I think it needs justifying!) by thinking you're making the most of your time alone before the baby arrives.

Thank you for this, CocoPops. Before I got pregnant I'd been planning and hoping and waiting for such a long time that I figured that nothing would stop me from being happy during the pregnancy.

Then the hyperemesis happened and, no kidding, I've never felt physically worse in my life. It was so awful. My husband had to help me to the bathroom because I couldn't even stand up unaided, and I was in hospital twice. It's been impossible to stay happy, even though I am happy to be pregnant. I think we get quite a rosy view of pregnancy sometimes, especially on tv/in films, where everyone seems to be glowing and having a really special time, and everything comes so naturally to them. When it didn't feel natural and wonderful for me, I felt like there was something wrong with me.

Ok, this turned into a bit of an essay! Basically I wanted to say thanks for the support, it means a lot to hear that it's nomal to be a bit all over the place emotionally x.

Hi Smaych I'm 17 weeks too and have also had sickness and nausea (nowhere near as bad as yours sounds) and not been sleeping well. I'm being treated for ante-natal depression and I'm positive the physical pregnancy problems get you so down that it affects your mood. Advice from well meaning people who haven't gone through how you are feeling just annoys you too - how many times have you been told to have a ginger biscuit??!!!
I just wanted to say that I suffered the same in my first pregnancy (this is definitely the last, can't do it ever again!)but as soon as my baby boy arrived it was all so worth it and I felt much better. A really lovely nurse told me yesterday to do eactly what CocoPops suggests, treat yourself. Be selfish, you are growing a human being. Don't do things to please everyone else, do things that make you (and therefore baby) feel better. I'm going to quote her frequently over the next few months!

That sounds like some really good advice GretnaGirl! And yes, my goodness, the ginger thing :) I know people mean well, but grr.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having pregnancy problems too. I hope you're feeling better soon!

Sorry you're feeling so crap. I think unsolicited yet well-meaning yet patronising advice goes with the territory of being pregnant. A friend of mine said that she would recite Shakespeare sonnets to herself each time her MIL told her that ginger would cure her HG.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte - Yeah, my MIL is the same. I know she means well, so it is a little easier to ignore than with FIL who is always very antagonistic towards me and just loves to say controversial things to try to get a rise out of me (he's like this with everyone, which is a little reassuring as I would worry if it was just me!).

Fortunately I don't have to see them all that often.

The sonnets advice is a good one, I'll definitely try that!

Smaych - I couldn't agree more. People always seem to be expecting me to gush about how happy I am to be pregnant. I am happy, but don't always want to start opening up to people I don't even know that well.

As for the 'helpful' advice, a polite smile and 'Oh that's interesting, thank you'. Every time.