Has anyone had their first baby in their 40s?

[Petal02]

I'm 41, and feeling a bit confused about babies. I've never really been broody, but I now realise I may be in Last Chance Saloon (if it's not too late already) and feel very unsure about whether to go for it (or not).

I admit to being a coward with a low pain threshold, I've got a bit of a phobia about being sick (so morning sickness is a terrifying thought) and comtemplating the actual delivery is, well, unthinkable.

I have thought quite seriously about adoption in the past, but am concerned that given I've never tried to conceieve, this may hinder our application.

Husband is a lovely guy, has two children (16 and 19) from his first marriage, and whilst he's not desperate for any more, would have a baby with me if I wanted one.

If I were 10 years younger I probably wouldn't be posting. But I gather I've a 30% chance of conceiving naturally, then a 50% chance of miscarriage ...... and surely a pregnancy in your 40s is very different to doing it at 22? Am I mad to even think about it?

Thoughts please!

Strumble is spot on. OP - just get on and do it.

My experience is that I didn't think I wanted kids, met partner at 35, realised I did want kids and we'd give it a go, found out that I had major fertility problems, suddenly really wanted children, ended up having first this year at 41. I was sick during pregnancy - but it was manageable - and went straight for an elective csection 'cos i'm scared of pain. I spent my previous decades as a club kid with a serious career and earning pots of dosh and now all i want to do is take care of my DD (though i still manage the odd clubbing night or gig and even took DD to Glastonbury at 5 months).

Today I found out I'm up the duff with number 2 - due when I'm 42. Which is why I'm back on the pregnancy threads....

Petal02, if you are squeamish about medical things in general then I can see how the whole 'making a baby thing' can put you off.

Have you heard of tokophobia? It is a recognised phobia of labour and childbirth. Counselling and CBT can be very helpful. As can being really well informed and feeling in control in regards to the decisions taken for your management.

I have known women who found going for a very NOT medical delivery ie home birth with independent midwives was the way forward for them.
Equally I have known others like some of the posters on this thread who found knowing from the get go that they were going to have an elective section was what made the whole thing seem more managable for them.

Maybe you could just stop using contraception and let nature make the decision for you ??

BTW, I saw a few day old tiny baby recently and very cute and yummy she was too, but all I could think was 'Thanks goodness, her mum and dad have to take her home, and NOT me' ...

And congratulations, Stangirl !

Im 41 and 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby,can I do this,how will I cope,am I too old 😪