Horrible dr vent! Sorry this is a huge post!

[Chucklecheeks]

I went to see my consultant on tuesday and it did not go as i had imagined. I am thirty six weeks and have epilepsy so have to have regular visits. the last time i went I saw a junior doctor (RN1 - can anyone explain the grading?).

I have severe SPD so am really worrying about the birth, I am on crutches now and worry that i might not be able to cope. I broached this with the doctor at my last appointment and she completely disregarded me and said it was too early to talk about this now and anyway i could always have an epidural if it hurt too much.

That was all she would say about it and moved on. My husband was livid after the appointment saying it is another place to tell her what and when i should worry about it.

I went on tuesday hoping i would be seeing the proper consultant but it was the junior doctor again. she was really brusqe and then asked if i had any questions. i mentioned that i was still worried about the birth and that i was concerned that al the medical professionals keep telling me different things about the birth.

All the midwifes i have seen have told me the wort thing to have is an epidural or a c section. She said that was not true. I said i feel like i know everything about it but am still not able to decide as i am getting conflicting info. At this point i can only describe her behaviour as sulking! I told her that i was left in stirrups last birth for hours, i remember it as seven hours.

She checked my notes and said it was only three and half hours, then proceeded to tell me i had an epidural, I didn't! The midwife who dealt with the birth forgot to phone the dr and he got there to late. She actually apologised to me because of it so i know i am correct.

The junior Dr took offence that i had said this and said i had come in and told her i know more than her about the SPD and i was telling everyone that i had been left in stirrups for seven hours. It was like she was offended i had said it was not a good experience. she then stopped speaking to me (it was like dealing with my 3 yr DC) and pointed at the chair i sit in to have blood pressure. i thought i had just better get on with it and hobbled across the room and she took the blood pressure, after she rolled her eyes at me in the mirror not realising that if she could see me i could see her.

She took my pressure and never told me what it was (I suffer from ow pressure and have to monitor it), then said to me do you feel better now. I said no she had made me feel stupid and she had disregarded my fears. At this point she walked out. I thought we had finished so was getting up to leave when i heard her in the corridor telling my consultant i was being hysterical. I was not shouting, getting angry, i was trying to stop myself crying but was calm and quiet.

He came in and asked my what was wrong, i told him i was worried about the birth and he explained his views, again they contradict the midwife. I felt better but am still worried. He then left and i thought i should talk to the junior Dr as i might have to see her again so i tried to apologise if she thought i had offended her, she shouted that she had told me the same as the dr and walked out again!

Is this normal? i felt awful, as though i had told a dr i knew more than her. i tried to explain that i meant everyone is telling me different but she would not listen. She would not even address me! Is it me, did i sound like i was wrong.

Do you think i should tell my midwife as the junior doctor mentioned she will be talking to the team of midwifes to tell them the correct info and i am worried they will think i have complained about them? I actually trust my midwife more than the doctors and her views tie in with peoples who have actually experienced SPD.

If you have got to the end of this massive post, thank you. What would you do?

Chucklecheeks x

Good luck. x

You really should take this further if you have the energy as you have every right to. Hope you have a better time of it in the future! At least your midwife seems nice. x

I agree with the other posters who say you should take it further if you feel up to it. I think you should also make it clear you do not want any more appointments with this woman.

As far as I know an RN1 is not a doctor, but a registered nurse - could be wrong but I work in mental health and we have RNs in the hospital.
Best of luck with whatever you decide and with the rest of your pregnancy.

Glad you have it sorted, but I would definitely make a complaint.

I had a similar experience that I ended up seeing the "lacky" instead of the consultant, who dismissed everything I said, rolled her eyes and had zero people/patient skills!

By my next midwife appointment (ok I had already been signed off sick with exhaustion) I just burst into tears about how awful the "lacky" was and she ammended my notes to make sure I only ever saw the consultant again.

I saw him last week, they got him out of surgery to see me and he was fantastic (i think i am secretly in love with him ) and has told me to go away and get on with being pregnant, he doesn't need to see me again but it was good to have a proper real life conversation about the pregnancy rather than being talked at like a child!

It definitely needs to be resolved, they can't have staff making patients left feeling like that

I think it is awful how the junior doctor has dealt with you and the fact that she was basically backed up by the consultant. To make sure you don't get her at birth, you might want to consider if you could get a private consultant who guarantees to be there at birth whatever time or day. I only found out after delivery, that many NHS consultants also take private patients, so you can have them in NHS hospital but pay a fee. No idea how much they charge but at least it might give you peace of mind, you don't want an incompetent doctor doing your birth (and yes I have seen a lot of incompetent doctors both with me and dd and they have caused so much harm and agony totally unnecessary).

Many people in authority tend to see those with doubts and opinions as threats, or insubordinates. It's to do with their own levels of confidence, unfortunately, so it's difficult to control and very easy to put backs up and cause offence. This in turn is likely to make them defensive and consequently drive them to lash out. It takes a very mature and enlightened individual to take other's opinions on board, not to see doubts as criticisms and to admit the untrained individual may be right (or at least have a point!).

What these people often overlook is how well you know yourself- you are an expert on you, and that is the expertise you bring to the situation. This should mean that collaboration is likely to bring about the best outcome, but sadly collaboration feels too disempowering for many authority figures.

I have learnt to be careful where complaints are concerned. It would be great if you complained, your complaint was upheld and this woman received the slap on the wrist she so richly deserves. There is however the likelyhood that those who work with her may close ranks against you in support of their colleague and this could be more unpleasant and distressing for you.

I recently had to change midwife as she was rude and ignorant, and decided on balance that it would be best if I cited 'personal differences and general incompatibility' as my reason. No one can argue with that or take you to task. I would ask not to deal with this vile woman on those grounds. Then, later, when you no longer have to deal with any of them, write a letter of complaint so that no other woman has to deal with her rudeness and insensitivity if you still feel as strongly.

I know that's a bit rambly, but I hope it's some use :)

I agree - it sounds like this woman has her own issues. She obviously felt threatened which is why she complained when she maintained she had told you the same thing as the doctor! She just needs a lesson in empathy and to not be so defensive.

I had a similar situation with a woman in the job centre. She was so rude and condescending and as I had unexpectedly found myself unemployed during pregnancy I needed a bit of understanding! She reduced me to tears right in front of her and still carried on being rude. But I decided not to complain as there was nothing I could actually quote her saying that was all that bad or untrue - it was just her whole manner! I just comforted myself with the thought that she's probably just a bitter and twisted old spinster with nothing better to do than get kicks out of upsetting people!You have to pity these poeple and wonder what's going on in their lives to make them so vile and poisonous!

Deffo complain!! Who the hell does she think she is? You cant go talking to patients like that! You should talk to your midwives and ask if they have ever delt with her also PALS is a good way to go. Ask for your cons to be changed and that you cant talk to the current one as she has shouted at you! Its out of order. I have worked in the NHS as Im sure loads of people on here have sometimes you come across people who you would love to tell to shove off but you cant. Who knows maybe she has had other complaints? Good luck.

You mentioned waiting until after the birth before you write a letter of complaint. I'd say do it now. You'll forget after the birth, there'll be so much else going on. Plus the anger is fresh right now, whereas in a few weeks/months, you'll start to wonder if you imagined it all, or were just being 'hormonal and pregnant'. Maybe you are more sensitive than usual right now, but you have every right to be, and a qualified medical professional should adapt their behaviour to this.

I have many friends who've gone through the medical training, one who is now a paediatrician (and a bloody awesome one, if I do say so!) and others who recognised early on that their specialism was not their people skills, so they've gone into surgery or anaesthetics, or any other field that involves unconscious patients! Sounds like she could do with a gentle nudge by a superior to perhaps start looking at one of those fields.