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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you have sex during pregnancy?

43 replies

sonnyday · 01/11/2010 20:22

Me and DH haven't since I found out, he doesn't feel comfortable with it and to be honest nor do I, is this unusual?

OP posts:

niamh29 · 01/11/2010 21:55

Oh my gosh, before reading this I would have said that no one would go a whole 9 months with no sex but I have been proven wrong. After about 5-6 months I do find it awkward and hard to climax as the positions don't suit me but I always make an effort because I would miss the closeness with my DH, I usually have sex right up to the end and start again about 3-4 weeks after having the baby (this is my third pregnancy)

1Catherine1 · 01/11/2010 23:47

First pregnancy here and we stopped having sex from the time I found out I was pregnant until about 14 weeks. Simply because I always felt so sick - nothing like constant movement to make it worse. After that though I missed it and I missed the closeness to my DP. Our sex life isn't the same as pre-pregnancy now but that's because I often go to bed before he finishes work or I wait up for him while I read a book just to have a 5 minute chat (nothing else as I'm usually way to tired) before I go to sleep.

sux2bu · 02/11/2010 00:04

Not unusual. But nor is it harmful (unless you've been advised not to due to mc or premature labour).

Had a fun time first trimester. Second trimester less so due to amnio then being knackered then having acid reflux then having sciatica then having visitors etc...

Now with 5 weeks to go and just too darned big.
Plus keep worrying that oxytocin will bring on labour but doubtful.

I would love DH to get plenty before baby murders sleep/my poor vagina gets traumatised again. But he is mr. reasonable.

As long as you and your husband are fine then it's quality not quantity and there are plenty of things you can do that don't require penetration.... x

Violet5 · 02/11/2010 07:07

niamh29 like you i am totally that some people go 9 months without. I wouldn't have believed it without reading these replies. I can understand if it's due to a previous mc or if you're in a lot of pain but otherwise , 9 days seems like a long time for me ...but then i am having baby number 6

tegan · 02/11/2010 07:15

with dd1 we didn't from day of finding out we were pg

dd2 did a couple of time in early pg but then didn't feel comfy nor did dh

ds tried a couple of time but really didn't want to so we did it once from finding out we were pg then gave it up as a bad job

nunnie · 02/11/2010 07:38

Lots in both.

chandellina · 02/11/2010 08:19

just for the record, it does not increase the risk of miscarriage. it's only a POSSIBLE risk if you have previously had bleeding after sex and/or miscarriage.

And that is only in the first trimester, I believe.

I can't imagine going 9 months without (plus time on the other end) and still having a thriving romantic relationship.

midori1999 · 02/11/2010 09:18

I did in my other pregnancies, (not after my waters broke at 14+5 in my last) but we won't be in this one. It's possible my waters broke due to infection, they just aren't sure and I don't want to do anything to risk introducing infection at all and if they think a sterlie speculum exam can introduce infection, I'm pretty sure having sex might do the same, so DH and I have agreed to abstain.

We both want to though, so might later on when the risk from my waters breaking is less.

planner26 · 02/11/2010 09:31

Not as much throughout (usually 2-3 times a week, it's slowly progressed down to 2-3 times a month and only once the past month). We didn't do it at all first 12 weeks either as I had spotting/cramping.

tbh I think that the problems we had in first 12 weeks put DP off a lot and he thinks he is going to hurt me! I would be up for it a lot more (despite feeling like a whale just recently my libido seems to have increased at 36w!) but think DP is a bit freaked out by big, moving baby now!

Hoping for not too traumatic birth, am looking forward to things being more 'normal' now in that department(though not expecting pre-preggo!) in a couple/ few months!

Madhouse41 · 02/11/2010 09:46

Have always enjoyed it more during pregnancy than any other time!!! I am now 39 weeks with DC4 and incredibly uncomfortable but still finding ways!!!

Giddyup · 02/11/2010 11:09

Yep loads... DP got a bit funny at 30+ weeks but then got over it. He needs a bit of persuasion again now but I am 40+1 and a complete whale.

I didn't much in my first pregnancy but that was down to a steadily growing loathing and revulsion for Ex!

vmcd28 · 02/11/2010 11:34

NEVER, and I'm 37 weeks

I had two MCs last year, so was too scared to till 15w of this pg, just in case, as I had spotting.

THEN, it wasnt long till I felt the baby moving, which meant we both felt a bit weird about it - as if there was someone else with us!

And since then, I've had backache, mild SPD and a very very very active baby, so it still all feels a bit weird and creepy almost!!

SummerHeightsHigh · 02/11/2010 12:42

For those of you about going without for 9 months, its really not that bad and its totally possible to have a thriving romantic relationship without it.

Due to medical reasons we have had periods of up to 6 months without sex before we had kids (before we were married too) and you just work out different ways to keep the romance alive.

I think it can be damaging if one of you wants it and the other doesn't and one party feels they are being badly treated but if its discussed openly and both agree then its really not a problem (apart from being a little frustrated!).

FWIW its not like we just have low sex drives, we used to work really close to each other in town and we used to meet up on our lunch hour to nip home for a quickie!!

clarabellarocks · 02/11/2010 12:49

Think you either go one of two ways - lots or barely at all. I'm the latter. Beginning I was just too exhausted and sick and now it's just so hard to get comfy in these later stages. Thankfully I have an understanding husband!

domeafavour · 02/11/2010 13:09

yes, DH was a bit funny about it at first, but soon got over that!
Had a couple of miscarriages since, so not sure how I would feel now, would definitely be cautious early on, but cannot imagine going without for any length of time.
And was very keen to get back into it after the birth as well, which surprised both me and DH!!

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird · 02/11/2010 21:24

Nope. Hardly at all. DH feels too weird about it. Frustrating for me, but he is totally wonderful in all other ways and he has tried, so think I just have to let it go. Very envious of all you smug shagging people and your faces!

scgd · 02/11/2010 21:36

We didn't at all since we found out we were pregnant back in January, me totally just never felt comfortable with it. Husband very very patient because ds is now 10 weeks and still haven't, I had stitches and now feel like I'll break although of course I know I won't I know it's all psychological but can't help feeling that way

TheEvilDead2 · 02/11/2010 22:27

NOt in the first trimester. Was so scared, and mentally didn't like the idea of anyone touching me there(weird I know. DH was scared shitless to touch me. We had a long ttc journey.

Now I'd say we were back to normal but I'm third trimester and starting to have trouble getting comfortable.

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