To three or not to three?

[pinkfeathers]

We are incredibly lucky to have two healthy children conceived by IVF after many attempts. We also have three frozen embryos which are in good condition. I am tempted to try for a third child, and my partner is happy to, though he thinks financially it would be easier to stick at two. We could afford it with some lifestyle adjustments. However, I am in my mid 40's which can cause pregnancy and birth complications. Should we leave well enough alone and be thankful for our two healthy kids, or go for another little person?

Don't think anyone can answer that question for you, I'm pregnant with no 3 at the moment, and although I know I absolutely want this baby I am still worried about how difficult it will be, financially and juggling 3 of them and dealing with 3 under 5..........fun!!

Only you can decide. My opnion would only be a personal one based on how I think I would feel. If it were me I would leave well alone. Your age is the deciding factor. I had DD at 41 and the lack of sleep was absolute torture to me. The thought of being mid 40s with a baby and two other children makes me want to lie down in a darkened room.

As others have said, that's the kind of decision only you can make. I guess when I have a difficult decision I make, I plot out what is the best and worst that would happen which each decision, and weigh them against each other. E.g if the worst that could happen by trying for a 3rd are complications resulting in loss of baby, how would that feel versus not knowing the extra love and happiness you might derive from a 3rd little one? So you need to find your own tolerance point.... hope that makes sense.

3 is more than just an extra child. it means "family" holidays become complicated (most places count a family as 2 adults 2 children), your car needs to fit 3 car seats across the back (and luggage in the boot for UK hols) and you only have 2 hands .....

You also need to know in yourself will you be complete without a third or will you always be wondering?

Thanks so much for your replies. I know it's our call, but it's really helpful to hear other people's views. I hadn't thought about about 'family' holiday often meaning 2 adults 2 children, DanceOnTheDarkSide. niamh29, I'm sure you'll cope - don't worry. I'll post a reply when we've decided - hopefully in a few weeks - such a difficult joint decision!