V sorry: medical or surgical? Wd be grateful for any advice

[missgrey]

Firstly, I am so very sorry if this causes distress to anyone. I could not see anywhere else to post this thread.

I am 30, just over 6 weeks pregnant and have to have a termination. I feel wretched about it but the decision has been made.

I realise to some this may be academic but I need to choose the method. I am pretty upset about it and the surrounding circumstances and I can't make a decision, and somehow the method has become crucial.

With regard to timing there is no delay for either method and both are done at Marie Stopes, my local NHS Trust's provider.

Originally I was opposed to the medical method for the lack of medical support and the pain and its duration that I have heard about.
An anaesthetic/sedation seems preferable, and I think I would prefer to be in a clinical setting with a doctor. I just wonder if it would be better to be at home instead.

Does anyone have any experience of either which would help me? Of anything, whether at Marie Stopes or anywhere.

So sorry again if this is upsetting to anyone.

If anyone has any experience they are able to share I would be very grateful.
Thank you.

I had a natural miscarriage at 6 weeks and although it was unpleasant (an traumatic as it was a much wanted pregnancy) it wasn't too bad physically. OTC painkillers helped a lot.

I had a missed miscarriage which was discovered at 12 week scan - I opted for the medical (tablet) route and to be honest it was excruciatingly painful; the worst pain I have ever experienced. One of my friends had a termination using the tablet about 8 years ago and she also said it was very painful and she felt that this hadn't been explained to her; we were both told it would be similar to period pains but it really wasn't.

The contractions were horrendous as there's very little there for the uterus to contract around (I think this is what the nurse told me - but to be honest, I was given gas and air and also morphine at one point and it's a bit of a blur!)

However, maybe I had a reaction or something? As I can't imagine that level of pain not being mentioned as matter of course if it was that common.

Whatever you decide, I'm sorry you're going through this - nobody chooses termination lightly.

I had a medical termination at 9 weeks about 2.5 years ago. I wish that I had gone for surgical. The bleeding I experienced on the day was so much more than the 'heavy period bleed' they had described. 4 days later I was admitted to hospital because of a haemorrhage caused by the process having been 'incomplete' and my cervix still being open (sorry if TMI). 4 days after that I was back in with an infection and it was another 6 weeks of constant bleeding and regular cramping before they finally accepted that my body wasn't going to complete the process by itself and booked me in for surgery. The op itself was quick and went fine and it only took a couple of days to completely recover.

I think there can potentially be problems with both approaches, but its very common to have complications with medical terminations the closer you get to 9 weeks. The earlier its done the better. I was only told this afterwards unfortunately.

Emotionally the fact that it was all drawn out for more than 8 weeks made a difficult situation even more challenging.

Mine was by no means a typical outcome, but I hope this helps.

I've had a surgical after a MMC. Horrific day (emotionally wise) but you feel physically okay the next day. It helped me to get better emotionally as I wasn't worried about anything else. You are only asleep for about 30 mins so don't feel any pain and painkillers help when you wake up. Sorry and hope this helps.

Thank you all so much for your replies, japhrimel, BitEmbarrassed75, emmah194, RayeB - thank you.

I'm sorry for the pain each of you must have endured - I'm really grateful for you responding to me, it was pretty humbling to read.

On balance it seems the surgery would be better.

emmah194, that is interesting (not quite right word, but...) to hear about the probability of complications with medical terminations increasing later on. I've heard that too. By the traditional method of first day of last period, I am 7.5 weeks, but because I know when conception took place it is less than that as a scan testified. Either way, to have the experience you had must have been truly awful.

BitEmbarrassed, you are right: I am definitely not choosing it lightly, but it is what it is, I suppose. As horrific as it feels it is also not the worst thing to endure, of this kind or anything else, I'm well aware - just trying to focus on this and get through it.

If anyone has any advice on the aftermath of the surgery and so on, I would be grateful.

Thank you again x

I work for a company that carries out NHS terminations, both medically and surgically as a health care assistant for extra income. I can honestly say that if it was me id have a surgical procedure just becasue then it is over and done with, no waiting around for bleeding etc.
It is very quick - you are under for around 3 to 5 mins and then when youve been awake for about ten minutes you are up, dressed and in the supervised waiting area having tea and biscuits.
This is totally your decision and no-one has the right to judge you and this is the attitude you will find in these centres, if you want to talk thats fine and if you dont want to thats fine too.
I wish you the very best x

Just to give you a different perspective on the medical option.

I had a medical termination in 1997, I was probably around 7 weeks. When I went for the initial appointment I was fully expecting that surgery was the only option, but was strongly persuaded to go down the medical route - they mentioned potential complications from surgery but in retrospect they probably prefer the medical route as it avoids the need for a theatre, anaesthetist etc.

Anyway, I went with that and it was totally straightforward. Went in a couple of days beforehand to take the tablets, then went to the day procedures ward on the day and they give you something to open the cervix.

Pain was manageable with pain killers, like bad period pains but no worse. I just spent the time lying down reading, after a few hours got up to go to the loo and felt everything "move" (sorry, a bit graphic but totally unforgettable feeling) and that was it really. They checked that everything had come out, kept me in for a couple more hours to monitor bleeding, then I went home.

I can't remember anything at all about the aftermath but am assuming it was fairly uneventful, otherwise I probably would remember.

Hope that helps. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

I've had a surgical termination at 8 weeks and it was fine - very little pain. Was in and out within a few hours and just rested for a day after.

I was also slightly pushed into the medical route but my mum really put me off (I was only 16 at the time). I'm glad she did, I've known a couple of people go that route and bleed a lot. They also both said they found it hard to deal with emotionally becasue they were more aware of what was going on if that makes sense.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I opted for surgical at 9 weeks after waiting 2 weeks for a natural loss. The emotional burden was too much and so surgery was best option. I was v paranoid about scarred uterus, but thankfully I never had any problems. It was quick and very few side effects afterwards. Felt like closure when it was done.

I had the odd sharp pain which freaked me out.

The reason I opted for surgical over medical is because of the many experiences I read about re labour type pains, v heavy bleeding, and risk of retained tissue.

It took 9 weeks for my period to return though and that really worried me.

I had a surgical one under local anesthetic 9 years ago in Holland.

I researched before I chose and didn't much like the idea of the medial approach because of risk of complications (i.e. too much bleeding and no-one to really assess). So I opted for the surgical one as they monitor you so that they are sure, before you go home, that you have not lost too much blood. They did give antibiotics against possible infections (your uterus is open, after all) and said not to go in a bath for two weeks (also because uterus is open, obviously). They said also to go to the doctor at the slightest sign of fever as that can be an indication of infection which can lead to infertility.

Other than that... I think the local anesthetic had worn off and the pain was excruciating by the time two hours had elapsed, I think. Literally the worst I have ever experienced. I did take paracetamol, but after two I didn't dare to take anymore. I cannot remember anything from that evening apart from pain which got slightly manageable when lying on my belly with my legs bent up from the knees.
I suppose, with some good painkillers and not flimsy paracetamol, it should be fine, though. Next day it was finished though and have never had pain again, apart from three days later when I was just too enthuesiastic dancing... I quickly got the message.

Oh, yes, forgot to mention that, even under local anesthetic, you don't really feel anything apart from putting in the tube (sorry to be so graphic) and maybe a little pain in your belly when the sucking is going on. Nothing excruciating or dramatic. Then it all ends and you lie down on a bed waiting to be assessed and then you get up and go, or that is how it went with me.

i had a medical one and had no (physical) problems whatsoever. The guidlines advised me that it would potentially take up to 24 hrs (because i was so far along due to my doctors f* up) but i was done within 6. Yes that is considerably longer than a surgical procedure but it follows a more natural progress. despite my addled scared mind at the time i was worried that a surgial procedure would scar me, not that i was really given a choice.

The nurses were fantastic too, esp after my doc had f up everything else

Wow - thank you, all. I'm sorry to hear what you have been through but your advice and shared experience has really helped me in my current circumstances.

baby1ahhh - it's somehow especially good to hear from someone on the inside - thank you. It's very reassuring, especially as I sit here late at night/early in the morning thinking and thinking again.

kikibo, I did like your mention of premature dancing. Like you, I have researched both and come to the same conclusion more or less, I think.

Thank you - you are all making a bit of a rotten time a bit easier.

x

I had a surgical one 5 years ago, aged 21. I couldn't face being aware while the medical one was going on, if you see what I mean. Mine was done under general anaesthetic, I was on the ward for a couple of hours until I woke up properly, and then sat there wondering when I could go home. I got a nurse's attention and she said "as soon as you've been to the toilet", so I did and was fine, and they let me go home almost straight away afterwards. I did carry on bleeding for at least a week afterwards (can't really remember now), but it wasn't very painful. I had some paracetamol and ibuprofen but after the first day I didn't really need them.

I did have a horrible scare about 3 days later when a large bloody lump came out when I was on the toilet...I panicked and thought it might be the foetus. I asked a doctor friend of my sister's, and she said under no circumstances would it be that, and that it was probably just a blood clot. I've been fine since and am now in the middle of a normal, non-complicated pregnancy, so I think all is well. Best wishes for you, no matter which route you choose!

No probs, if you want any more info just PM me x

I had a medical termination 2 years ago at a Marie Stopes Clinic, when I was about 7 weeks gone.

I was in no way prepared for the pain. I walked from the Marie Stopes clinic to the train station, and vomited on the train. Repeatedly. I had to get off the train and into a black cab. I was practically curled on a ball on the floor in tears, the pain was so excrutiating. Painkillers did not help. I felt 'it' passing out of me too, and the emotional pain of that wasn't nice either. The pain was over, however, within about 4/6hours, and I could curl up in my bed the whole time, which I suppose was a plus.

I had a surgical one about 5 years ago when I was around 8 weeks for medical reasons. They definitely tried to steer me in the medical direction but I was pretty upset anyway and just wanted it to be over quickly.

It was over in a morning, I went home and had minimal bleeding or pain.

It was definitely less traumatic than the medical option sounds.