12 week scan tomorrow and absolutely TERRIFIED

[mslucy]

Hello there.

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow and am absolutely TERRIFIED.

I keep imagining the worst and it's keeping me awake at nights.

I'm 40 and this baby was conceived immediately after a mc at the beginning of Aug - about 2 days after my 40th birthday if I'm not very much mistaken. This was a real shock as I had to have IUI for DS2.

I assumed I'd lose it but it's still there and pretty sure I can feel it move - I'm very small and this is my 3rd pregnancy (5th if you count mcs).

I am particularly scared of the scan because I had a scare with the last pregancy - high risk for Downs - and had to have a CVS. Obviously it was fine and I have DS2 (my special pet) but I can't face the stress and the result might not be positive this time.

Statistically I know it will probably be ok but the bowel clenching fear is something else. I have only told a couple of people apart from DH (had told no one other than him until a couple of days ago).

Have been lurking constantly on MN but feel it would be tempting fate to join in any ante natal threads etc.

I'm a right misery at the moment - just needed to rant.

I didn't want to read and run. I know how you are feeling. I had a partial molar pregnancy found at a scan and since then even sitting in the waiting room fills me with absolute dread. Don't really know what else to say, apart from I hope it all goes well.

thank you.
My rational side keeps telling me to stop being such a neurotic cow but I'm not feeling very rational at the moment.

I've had 2 very early scans which were fine, just scared they will discover an abnormality - risks are much higher at my age.

also worried about how much this pg will impact on our finances - will cope obviously, but the prospect doesn't exactly fill me with excitement!!!

just wanted to say good luck. Think that the penetrating fear is probably par for the course in circumstances.

You've only got til tomorrow. What's one more sleepless night?

Are you taking someone with you?

yep DH.
He has been great but I think he is getting worn down by my endless negativity.
I am not very proud of myself

You can't help it, and it is much healthier for you to feel like you can voice how you are feeling. It's not fair to expect you to be scared on your own.

I was afraid something was wrong, on a lot of the preg threads people are afraid, it's a big deal to be getting worried about!

The finances thing is just you trying to deflect your worry onto something 'sensible'. Just get through tomorrow, and then see what you have got to worry about.

I think part of the problem has been that I never really got over the mc and also that I am shocked that I became pg so easily after previous problems.

I am a very anxious person and find pregnancy a bit of a nightmare if I'm honest!

There is far too much not knowing during pregnancy. It is scary. A massively important thing is happening inside you but you don't know what is actually going on. I get more and more anxious up to each scan (and I had 6 last pregnancy!) Then if things go ok, have a day or two to catch up on sleep and apologise to everyone for being a bitch beforehand. But then as the next scan approaches I get more anxious again.

But I think it is almost a better state of affairs than how I was before my first ever scan. I went into that room thinking "how wonderful, I'm going to see my baby for the first time. What a wonderful day this is going to be." How wrong I was! At least now I go into scans knowing what they are there for.

Mslucy, you sound exactly like me, I have been through similar in the last year and am the same age. I am now 11+6 and have my nuchal scan next Thursday, so now petrifed. Never has time passed so slowly. I don't really want to talk about with my DH as he will just think I am being over neurotic as usual!

Good luck with your scan today, hope all goes well.

Hi - just wanted to wish you well for your scan today.

Just wanted to say i'm thinking of you today. Keep us posted. x

thank you all so much for your kind words - what would we do without mn?

Scan at 3:20 - still dreading it but looking forward to it all being over so I can move on to the next stage (whatever that is).

ng1412 - good luck for your scan next week too.

hope all went well,thinking of you today.

Hello everybody.
After all that stress, scan went well and the dreaded nuchal measurement that caused me so much anxiety with dc2 was absolutely fine - 2.3 (anything up to about 3 is fine).

Obviously now worries about bloods, next scan, etc etc, but this stage of the journey is over and done with.

Thank you for all your help and support.

Excellent news, so glad to hear that. Thanks for posting an update, I have been thinking about you all day!