Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

I am in Limbo,having scan number 4 and cant cope

15 replies

Totallyfloaty35 · 25/10/2010 20:51

Hi all,i should be about 7wks 4.I have had several early scans due to a previous ectopic.
The first scan was quite distressing,she was very rough(it was more like she was clearing a drain than a scan)i had to stop her as it hurt so much.
1st scan i measured almost a wk less and only sac was visible.Was told to come back a wk later.Different sonographer said she could see yolk and fetal pole but no heart beat and i was still measuring a week less.
My hcg had doubled but although i had been queasy since my bfp( most unusual for me as with previous 3 dds i didnt get sick til 8wks) i had hardly any boob tenderness though at that point
I started spotting so DH took me off for a private scan,this time i was told i was measuring aprox 12 days to small and no yolk was seen or baby.
Sonographer told me to expect the worse,go to A & E when i start bleeding but to come back again for ANOTHER scan in a week if i dont bleed!
I'm so stressed,i cant stop crying.I don't know how to feel. I'm still feeling sick,my boobs have got more painful and gone up 2 cup sizes,i have had only tiny amounts of spotting and no pain. But i am being told i probably do not have a viable pregnancy.
I am constantly waiting to bleed,how much more waiting
can i have before i go mad? Sorry its so long

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

8rubberduckies · 25/10/2010 21:02

I have absolutely no advice to offer up totallyfloaty, but just some very un-Mnettish hugs. I cannot begin to imagine what you're going through - I had a 4 day wait during last pregnancy for a scan whilst bleeding and that was bad enough.

Be kind to yourself, seek out all of the love and time of your closest in RL that you can and I hope someone comes along on here who can offer you more practical support than I can soon.

PGWomble · 25/10/2010 21:23

You poor thing. I had an ectopic earlier this year and have found ectopic.org.uk/forums a godsend. There will be lots of ladies on there who have been through exactly the same situation as you are. Wishing you all the best x

sotough · 25/10/2010 21:26

hi there, i'm really sorry to hear you're going through this - it's absolutely horrible, isn't it? i had four miscarriages in a row over the last two years so i know exactly what the uncertainty is like.
First of all, i'm not a doctor, but from everything you describe, this is not a viable pregnancy. measuring 12 days too small at 7+4 just isn't a good sign, i'm afraid. usually they would be able to see a heartbeat from 6+4 - sometimes even earlier. If you are absolutely sure of your dates, it sounds like this sadly isn't going to end well. I am simply telling you this based on my own miserable experiences of "unviable" pregnancies.
please don't expect any great physical drama if/when you bleed - at only 7+4 with a pregnancy that has not apparently progressed it will most likely just be like a heavy period. from what you say there's no possibility this one is ectopic. I can't see why you would need to go to A+E, but obviously if you're in a lot of pain or losing what seems a frightening amount of blood that will be an option.
This is a terribly dark, painful thing to go through and you will probably feel pretty bleak for quite a while - please surround yourself with loved ones and all the support you need, and do whatever it takes to get through each day. slowly the cloud does lift, but it can take a lot longer than you might imagine. my best advice is take one day at a time, and just get through it.
you don't say what age you are, or if you have any children already, but one ectopic+one miscarriage, if that's what it turns out to be, is no reason to believe you won't go on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy - even though i know it must seem hopeless just now.
come and join us on the miscarriage board if you think that would help - you'll get plenty of support there.

lia66 · 25/10/2010 21:27

totally just want to send some hugs and positive vibes your way. We've been on threads together. I really really hope it works out for you.

So now you have to wait another week? Is that right? Surely they can see something at this point? how distressing for you. :(

ng1412 · 25/10/2010 21:28

So sorry to hear this totallyfloaty, I went through a massive scare when about 5/6 weeks and spent a fortune on private scans but had a great gyneacologist who kept me informed throughout it all. Any way you can get a private appointment, they may be able to offer you more info/advice? Regardless, I hope you have good news soon, my thoughts are with you.

sarahscot · 25/10/2010 21:40

No advice, but thinking of you. Although you need to be prepeared for the worst, don;t lose sight of the fact that it's possible you'll get a positive outcome too. I hope you get resolution soon - not knowing is so hard.

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 25/10/2010 21:46

Thankyou, I am due to have my 4th scan on Thursday.
I just wish my body would get on with it,i so want this baby but if its not going to happen i want it to be over so i can try again.
I bounce between praying for my baby to suddenly grow and a heartbeat to appear.To ranting at my poor DH "if its not viable why dont i bleed,why do the bloody hospital keep me hanging on week after week?'
Poor DH he was so convinced that going private would suddenly mean good news,he looked like a kicked puppy when we were told to prepare for the worse. But then with nothing happening and being told to go for another scan he is getting his hopes up again for a miracle.
I know i am lucky, i already have 3 wonderful DDs.
But im 40 and i feel like my time is running out. My DDs dont know whats going on,they think mums a bit moody.
I have to keep leaving the room to cry or claiming i have just read something sad if they catch me crying.
This waiting is killing me.

OP posts:

lilly13 · 26/10/2010 08:21

Totally, I am so sorry to hear about your experiences. Try to think positively. I know it is difficult to do so, but try... Maybe it will be a reassurance to see an experienced fetal medicine specialist who does scans on his own (rather than a sonographer)? I paid privately for my 1st scan at 8 weeks and was worried that it would be internal and I would bleed, but it was external (the doctor had a new high resolution machine and could see everything clearly). It did cost gbp200 and included a consultation with obstetritian / fetal medicine specialist, and totally gave a peace of mind. I thought it was the best spent money.
If you are in London, I would recommend doing a scan at Portland hospital with Prof Eric Jauniaux or at MyScan with Dr Dimitrios Economides or at Women's Wellness Center with Dr Keith Duncan. I really hope things go well for you. Keep your chin up!

sotough · 26/10/2010 09:36

hi, speaking as someone who has been through this too many times, i personally think being encouraged to hope against all the odds is not good advice - it just makes things so much worse. i know other posters may find this blunt and i don't mean to be hurtful at all. i'm just reflecting on the devastating experience with my own four miscarriages, and think it's best to be very realistic. there was one in particular, where a sonographer encouraged us to think there might be some hope, when an obstetrician was able to say the second he saw the sonographer's report that it was not viable. i spent a week before seeing the obs in limbo, thinking things might possibly turn out okay. it simply prolonged the agony. totally unfortunately it's very common for the body to take quite a while to cotton on to the fact that the pregnancy isn't working. you could wait two or three weeks or even more for any bleeding - it doesn't mean the pregnancy is progressing. Once they are sure it has failed you'll be offered an ERPC.
once again i'm sorry to sound so negative - please know that my message comes from the heart and that all i'm trying to do is spare you more pain. false hope is a terrible thing and from everything you've said i cannot see how this pregnancy can progress, though of course i'm just a mum, not an expert. if it does turn out to be okay, then that will be absolutely amazing and wonderful.

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 28/10/2010 12:46

Sotough, i dont find your opinion hurtful.In fact i know deep down something is not right(and had done for weeks) i just hated the constant watch and wait.
Well had final scan.I am now booked in for ERPC.But DH away at work so cant have it done for 10days til he back.Things may happen naturally before then though.
I am feeling very sad.

OP posts:

digitalgirl · 28/10/2010 12:54

So so sorry to hear it didn't work out Totally. But at least you can move on.
I remember reading this thread earlier this week, and now I'm in exactly the same position. Had my third scan on Tuesday after a loss of symptoms - baby only measured 6+3 when it should have been 7+2 and very very low heartbeat. Have my fourth scan booked next Tuesday, but started cramping painfully yesterday and have expelled some brown blood. Waiting for it to turn red or I imagine I'll be booked in for an ERPC too.

Good luck with everything, take care of yourself.

sh77 · 28/10/2010 12:56

So sorry Totally for your loss. I know how hellish the wait is between scans. Hope your recovery will be quick.

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 28/10/2010 13:45

Thankyou...and Digital, i am sorry you are having a rough time , thinking of you.

OP posts:

lilly13 · 28/10/2010 13:49

Totally, i am so sorry about your loss and wishing you soonest recovery both physical and emotional!

ng1412 · 28/10/2010 15:15

Sorry to hear this, look after yourself xx

Flip