Can't cope today, I've just had enough!

[Rocklover]

I'm 25+6 and I have had enough, I cannot cope today and I am sat here crying my eyes out.

I have to drive my dd 3 1/2 hours up to my parents tonight for half term so that she can visit her grandparents then her dad in the middle of the week.

I still have horrible pregnancy nausea, low iron which is making me exhausted and to top it off I have the start of my DP's heavy cold which I thought I'd managed to avoid.

I have a midwife appt at 4pm, so cannot leave on this horrible drive until after that. I am dreading it, the last time I did the journey about 3 weeks ago I felt awful and panicked most of the way (although my driving was not affected). I just cannot face it.

I have looking into train fares and it is just too expensive for dd and I (£107), plus all the trains seem to be weird tonight with at LEAST 3 changes on the journey. There are also time issues with getting back via train as I need to get DD back home for Halloween lunchtime to go to her friend's house.

I cannot bring her home earlier as her Dad has made a fuss about it, so I am bloody stuck.

Sorry about the rambling on here, it probably doesn't make much sense, but I just need to vent. I just want to go to bed and let someone else deal with it all, but there isn't anyone else! God it's shit being an adult. :(

Rocklover you poor thing! Is there any possibility of your parents coming to pick up DD/ meeting you half way to minimise the driving?

I don't have any proper advice but you will manage to get through today! You will get to have some sleep tonight and you will feel a bit better tomorrow.

They probably would, but my dad is still recovering from a heart attack he had earlier this year and he gets stressed by long journies at the moment.

I think it's the fact that I know I have to do it, that all the responsibility is on me and there is no other way. Dp doesn't drive (and is almost phobic of cars), so he can't help.

I'm just being silly and feeling sorry for myself.

Oh no rocklover - still feeling rubbish? You deserve a good day by now surely! A good vent always helps I find. I don't really think I can say anything that will help, as I imagine if there was another way of doing it you would have thought of it by now (all I can think is to cancel mw appointment and leave earlier or go to mw appointment but then not leave until tomorrow morning). I do hope the drive goes well and I hope you start feeling better soon. I've had a bit of a rubbish week this week if it's any consolation - constant heartburn for a few days (now on/off), feeling pg nausea still (think I'm doing too much - today I've had to dash to dr surgery to drop off a swab for testing, make 2 christmas cakes and then clear up and very messy kitchen, change bed sheets and cook mac cheese for lunch. I'm absolutely shattered and feel terrible now - but pre-pg this would be nothing - I could do it all in an hour or so and have plenty of energy left!), bad back ache and I'm also fighting off a cold which sucks and really drags you down.

I shall think of you tonight driving and I hope all goes well and am sending wishful thoughts to all the roads to make them super clear for you [hwink]

Positive thinking - it WILL be OK and you WILL cope...

Is there anything you can think of to make your journey better?? I suffered from ante-natal depression and used this technique to make things bearable (also had an older dd to try to keep entertained through the tears) maybe find some really old good music that you haven't listened to for a while and buy some of your and dd( don't know how old she is!) favourite sweets am sing and eat your way through the journey, maybe even stop half way for something to at with your dd for a treat and a break.
Hope it goes ok for you, as really appreciate how difficult every day things can become xx

Sweetie I really don't think that cancelling your mw appointment would be a wise choice. Did you have a cold last week or were you just worn down? I think you should speak to the mw about how you are feeling generally or maybe your GP. Just in case you may be suffering with depression.

I'm going to be blunt about this, I think you need to be putting your needs ahead of other peoples for a while. Do you have to take your DD tonight? Can't it wait till the morning? You are going to be fighting half term traffic. As for her dad making a fuss, he should stop being a selfish arse! Your DD wants to be back for lunchtime so would he rather force her to spend time with him rather than allowing her to do what she wants? Would he really do that to her? Isn't that just a tad petty and pathetic. The train is an expensive option but it might be less stressful if you can cover the cost.

I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself!

I'm not sure Wallababy, the only places I stop are at service stations for a wee and dd hates this lol. We're going up the M5, so not a very interesting journey.

I won't give dd sweets in the car as she threw up the last time that happened, but I do buy her a sandwich and crisps, which she loves. I think I will try stopping for longer and see if that helps.

Thanks angels, sorry you're having a bad week, I'm sure it will improve when you rest. You do far more than I do, I have turned into a complete lazy cow!

I actually managed washing up, laundry, hoovering the lounge and a quick trip to the Christmas shop with dd yesterday. And later on I walked to the local shop at about 9pm to get bread and milk for today; I was seriously impressed with myself!!

Thanks Catherine, I'm definitely not cancelling my mw appt as I need another blood test for my iron levels. I don't have depression, but I am suffering from anxiety (which I have had previously to the pregnancy and it was severe enough to stop me working for a year, although I recovered well) and I know this is all wrapped up in feeling so poorly all the time.

DD's dad will not budge as he has bought her a ticket for a football match and he wants her to go (which had been purchased before dd had been invited to her friend's house last week). So I cannot pick her up until 7pm on Sat night, to add to the complication, she will be in London whilst I stay with my parents in Oxfordshire.

I would justify the expense of going on the train (even though we are strapped for cash), but there are problems with the journies this weekend and next in that I will have to make at least 3 changes instead of the usual 1 and I would be unable to get dd back in time for Sunday lunchtime.

My cold has only just come on today, I caught it from dp and his took at least a week to come out fully and now he has a chesty cough. I am hoping mine won't be as bad.

very impressive work yesterday rocklover [hgrin] . I'm now stuck on the sofa (probably for the rest of the day) watching a DVD. I'm too tired (and back hurts too much) to move other than for a food or loo break! [hwink] .

I actually wanted to say well said by catherine. If you took out the anxiety or the car journey would you feel better? If yes, then is the stress worth it? Would DD's Dad help you out with rail costs? Thinking about it my point of possibly cancelling mw is probably bad advice - it's actually probably a good thing to see her when you feel really bad and down so she can see what you're going through and may eb able to offer a different judgement/point of view on where you are at present in yourself and your pg - just make sure she realises how rubbish you've been - I know from experience it's really easy to breeze in and pretend like it's all fine, or to make light or it, or to not draw attention to any problems/issues, but it really is best if she knows just how much you are struggling.
xx

No, DD's dad would not offer to help. She already missed her last visit as I was just too skint to drive her to him. I offered to do it the weekend after, but he was too busy going to the pub with his mates to rearrange (despite saying previously that changing the weekend would be ok).

The anxiety and the nausea definitely feed off each other, if the anxiety was lower with I may well feel better. Not doing the car journey will not make the anxiety go away, it will just lessen it. This is all because of the nausea I am sure, you know how difficult emetophobia can make things Angels, so there is not much I can do I don't think.

no, I do sympathise. I've now given up work all together for similar reason (it was making me really anxious which was making nausea worse and when I felt sick I got more anxious). I have to say that in myself I feel happier and more content because of not having the pressure of work now. I think you're so incredibly good to manage the car journeys - you're really not stopping the anxiety rule your life whereas I feel a bit like I've just given into anxiety for an easier life (or at least perceived easier). You are go strong to manage to do all these things I couldn'[t dream of managing and I'm so inspired that you will manage the car journey despite how you feel.

I would be tempted to tell your DDs Dad that your MW has said you can't drive the journey and put the problem onto him to solve - as others have said you need to put yourself first