In a dilemma - got placenta praevia - please advise

[Moomin]

I was diagnosed with my second lot of placenta praevia grade 4 last week. When I had it with dd1, I was admitted to hosp at 32 weeks and more or less stayed in there until I had an elec c-sect at 38 weeks. I had had no spotting or bleeding at all (which is rare with pp, I'm told), the birth went well, dd was fine and all was well.

I'm now 34 wks pg with dd2 and pp grade 4 was diagnosed last week. I was told I should have been admitted there and then but I begged not to as we had no-one to look after dd. The only reason I was allowed home was that we have my brother staying with us and he could take me to the hospital immediately if I had any bleeding. I've been told I have to be admitted anyway in about 10 days time until the c-sect at 38 wks and we have arranged all our childcare for this time: dd will go and stay with MIL & FIL as dh is at work.

However, my brother has been up all night with d&v and looks like he has a bug. I think he'll need to stay with my dad to be looked after, at least for a few days - he's not fit to look after me and I'm not fit to be running after him - I'm sposed to be practically on bedrest! I've had no spotting and I feel pretty well, but I am very aware just how dangerous pp can be and I know I shouldn't really be on my own at all. MIL is on holiday abroad now until a week on Sat and there is no-one who can look after dd for the afternoons this week if I go into hospital today. I don't want to risk anything with the pregnancy but I can't leave dd either. My dad is nearly 80 and can just about tend to my brother but would not cope with dd so I can't ask him.

I'm tempted to ring the ante-natal ward and speak to a midwife but I'm scared they'll just admit me. What would happen to dd? Is there any provision at hospitals for patients to have their children with them? What would anyone else do? Any advice?

You could ring the hospital, on their general number... don't give out any details but ask if they have creche facilities? I'm sure they'd be happy to tell you, and I bet they do have a creche... then you should call the ante natal ward!

Sending hugs what a crap time you're having don't over-do it!

They can't admit you over the phone, so give them a call and ask. It can't be the first time this has happened. How old is dd1?

She was 4 on saturday! She's at pre-school every morning this week and her childminder is having her today and tomorrow from 12 til 3.30 but then dh isn't back til about 6.45.

Is there any way DH could get compassionate leave? If not I'm sure the creche at the hospital will be a very friendly place..

Dh has just started a new job. He wasn't entitled to any paternity leave but they fixed it for him to have 3 weeks off as one of the negotiations when he got the job, so to take any more time off is just not possible. He works at a hospital as well and I would suggest he take dd with him as I'm pretty sure they'd have a creche, but like I said before, dd started pre-school last week and dh's hospital is 20 miles away so he can't pick her up in the middle of the day.

To top it all off, I haven't seen or heard anything from my dad and brother since they went to the doctor's at 8.30 this morning! I rang the surgery but they said all the patients were gone and no-one had been referred to hosp that morning. I've rung my dad's and db's moby but no reply from anyone. I wish I knew what was going on!

Aww moomin try not to stress, have a nice cup of tea... put your feet up... it'll be ok, you'll sort it all out!

B#ll#cks! DB has been admitted to hospital with another suspected abcess, this time behind his stomach. Poor him... and poor me, with no chaperone any more! I should ask them to get me a bed next to him then at least we'll be able to talk to one another...

ar$e

No friends of MNers who could help you out?

friends or MNers

Can childminder look after her a bit more until dh finishes work? - it is an emergency and everything.

moomin - huge sympathy - had pp with ds and v grateful not to with dd. my hospital let me stay at home until i had 2 bleeds, but it's scary and of course not nice for dd if she sees it. really don't know what to say.

Oh, what a difficult situation. Could the childminder take dd all day (taking her to preschool and collecting her) and dh collect her after work? He may have to leave work earlier than he'd like, but this is a crisis. I know he's in a new job but people have bereavements or accidents or all other sorts of emergencies, they don't stop for new jobs - and companies manage. My ex-boss turned up for two days before he disappeared off sick - turned out he had testicular cancer and was off for a few months. Thankfully he was fine after treatment, but my point is employers do have to deal with this stuff all the time.

You poor thing, having such a hard time...

I hope something's been worked out now and that you're resting and not worrying about people xx... your DB can look after himself, your DD isn't going to suffer from being in childcare, just try to concentrate on yourself and your baby, it's not a selfish thing to do! I can't wait to see your birth announcement, it'll feel so brill to be back at home with your new baby and your DD and DH... concentrate on what you have to look forward to! Sending good luck vibes

My mum was in hospital for a month before my brother was born and I was farmed out to various rellies because dad worked shifts. I turned out fine so don't worry about your dd.

Just keep yourself safe. If you are still around then let us know how you are - if you are in hospital then we will wait patiently for the birth announcement.

Thanks for all your lovely thoughts. Yes, I'm still here. Feel very tearful this morning though, think it's all getting to me a bit after trying to be brave and pragmatic about it all for a while.

Looks like db will be in hospital for a little while while they drain the new abcess and do more tests. While he's in, my dad has said he will come round every morning just to read his paper and be around if I need him. My lovely next door neighbour has said she will make sure she's around every afternoon in case I need her too, so I'm ok for now. Dh will be off one day each week (Friday this week) and I have a friend coming round on Thursday, so this week looks as if it will be ok.

I had a long chat with my dad about db yesterday when he was taken in to hospital and my dad agrees that I can't have db staying here anymore as it's just too mouch. I feel really guilty, but I have found it quite stressful having him here at this time, even when he's been feeling better. When he's been feeling poorly he just simply is not a good patient (like most men) and I've found it draining emotionally. My dad has said at least he can turn his hearing aid off when my brother starts moaning! He's such a star (my dad that is!)

The thing that has worried me today is that dd has woekn several times in the night, crying and imagining things like birds in her room. I'm sure she's feeling anxious with all the changes and is also reacting to her uncle being in hospital after being used to having him here for the last 4 weeks. She knows I'll be going in soon although we haven't talked about it too much so that might be worrying her a bit too. I just write a note to her pre-school teacher to ask her to look out for dd; I'll go in for a longer chat later this week. It's made me feel very weepy.
Sorry for the long post...

Aww moomin it's understandable that you feel weepy! I feel tearful loads and I'm just pregnant nevermind anything else! Your dd will be fine, it's going to be a weird time for her anyway but dd's are very resilient creatures you know ... and it was too much to expect you to have your brother staying! I'm glad you've got people to look out for you now, just hope you get the chance to relax!

Yes, if it comes to it your dhs's work has to understand that his wife has a life-threatening condition - because that is what PP is. If you'd been run over or had cancer they'd 'let'him have time off, surely. It's not really like paternity leave. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know - ie that you could bleed to death with this condition (though that is so rare as to be pretty much discounted) because I had it myself and the strange thing is you feel totally well and fine, but you know something horrific could happen at any moment and it is stressful. I do know how you feel, only I didnt' have the added stress of a child at home.

What a lot of stress Moomin. Your brother must be desparate to be back in hospital again after he was only just feeling better. Your dad must be worried about you both. And you are worrying about everyone.

Sending virtual ((hugs))

I had this too. They told me to carry on at home (taking it as easy as you can with a 2.9mo around). They said if I started bleeding and didn't have anyone to hand dd over to, she would come to hospital with me in the ambulance and they'd figure it out from there.

In the event, I bled in the middle of the night (at 34.5 wks) and went to hospital in an ambulance. Apparently the majority of pp bleeds do happen at night for some reason they haven't figured out yet. Dh followed in the car once he'd got a friend over to stay with dd. As it turned out I had ds by cs the next day and we didn't come home for 2 weeks. Dh's mum came to stay with dd. Dd was fine all the while I was gone, but slept quite badly for while when I got home. Had to keep reassuring her that I wouldn't be disappearing in the night any more. But she is fine now.

If I were you I'd hang on at home. Have you any friends who'd have your dd round to play a lot? Let her watch loads of Cbeebies while you put your feet up. But be prepared - have a bag packed for you and one for dd.

The chances are fairly good that you'll get through the next 10 days aren't they? Hang in there!

I had two bleeds at home and was glad to have someone with me. I could have dialled 999 for an ambulance though. I dont' think any minicab would have taken me!

I feel awful though, because I've kind of shut myself up from feeling anything about db's condition and his state of mind. I feel like I can't afford to be empathising or sympathising with him too much because it was all dragging me down too much. I know it sounds horrible but I actually feel relieved that he's not here today and that he's being looked after elsewhere. I don't even have to visit as my dad has agreed it's much easier for him to do, which is great. I just feel like being totally selfish and wrapped up in just me, the bump, dd and dh, although it makes me cringe to acknowledge it (esp as I'm on here offloading my woes and getting lots of support).

Thanks for the words of wisdom, aloha, it's good knowing someone else knows how I feel at the moment. I know that if push came to shove, dh's work would have to accommodate an absence - we just don't want to push it. That's the funny thing with PP, like you said, you feel fine but you have this potential crisis hanging over your head the whole time.

posts crossed - thanks fruitful as well.

I feel so much for you. I have also had pp Grade 4 twice and it is so frightening. If in any doubt diall 999 and they will take your daughter as well if there is nowhere to leave her. Good luck and try not to worry. Thinking of you.
Penny

Thanks CC (liking what you've done with your name, btw!)
What happened with your PPs? Did you bleed at all? At what stage did you have your babies?

Moomin, I really think that the fact you've had no bleeding is a very good sign. I had pp but not Grade iv and was spotting on and off from 24 weeks before I had the "big bleed" at 32 weeks. If it comes to it , the hospital will have to deal with your dd if she comes with you. Your neighbour sounds lovely too, surely she wouldn't let you down?