6 months in to pregnancy with second child and feel out of control already

[EmmyJo]

Just wondered if anyone else in similar situation or able to give me glimmer of hope. Feeling totally overwhelmed at prospect of being a Mum for the second time. My DS is nearly 2.5 and is tantruming like mad on a daily basis. He can be physically aggressive hitting me and sometimes biting. Everyday feels like a battle of wills between us. I feel I have been way too inconsistent with him - often letting him totally lead on things and takeover all my time and energy. I worry that the impact of his 3 days a week at nursery since 8m old plus my tense relationship with my husband (we are having a really tough time in our marriage and having counselling) are all taking their toll on my son. Also I have been physically exhausted and in discomfort for much of this pregnancy already and dreading the last trimester unless things improve. My confidence in my parenting ability is at a low and I feel hijacked and useless. My weekly routine already feels like a marathon run and I can't imagine what life will look like once the baby comes - although at least I won't be working for a good while! Has anyone been through something similar and come out the other side??

I was not the same but had terrible morning sickness with DS (second child). It was tough but I can tell you it is

SO MUCH EASIER HAVING A TODDLER AND A NEWBORN THAN A TODDLER AND BEING PREGNANT.

Sorry for the capitals, but it really is true. I can't believe how great it's been so far (DS 14 weeks). Hang on in there. It's going to get better.

Hey EmmyJo, I am in a very similar situation to you - 31 weeks, work 4 days a week, also with toddler who has suddenly started to tantrum etc. I also have SPD which means I am finding it hard to walk far. I feel very guilty on the days I have DD and I'm not able to walk to the park with her etc. I am also physically very tired and not sleeping now - so all in all, feeling pretty rubbish too!

I am hanging onto the hope that having newborn will be easier - at least physically. Saw a friend today who has 2 DC and said you forget how much newborns actually sleep. I am planning to keep DD in nursery a couple of sessions a week when my mat leave starts so I can rest and for after the baby comes.

In terms of the tanrtumming, I think it is probably your DS' age - I've read this is the phase they get more, erm, 'challenging'. Although I do think my DD has started feeling a bit threatened by the bump.

I have been looking into toddler and baby groups in my area so I can start to plan things we might do when the baby comes. There are more than I realised which is reassuring.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Be kind to yourself, and make sure your DH is supporting you and picking up some slack too (could discuss in counselling maybe?.

Thank you both - that is so reassuring. I feel better already. Really feel for you too Wholelottalove - not finding it easy to get around is so tough with a full on toddler. I know toddler groups can help but sometimes I get so self-concious about my DS' behaviour and my reaction to it that I come home from those sessions feeling worse than before!! Definitely worth perservering with though so I don't isolate. I'm planning on keeping my DS in nursery for two days too and I know that should really help us all. Thanks again.

When I find DD to much I exercise her like a dog. LO sleeps in pushchair or sling.

'Get out of the house' is a very good rule, but I don't always need to stick to it. I never thought I'd manage it but i'm even making a pretty good stab at toilet training dd.

Good for you!! I've been potty training DS for 2 months and it's just such slow progress. He still has many accidents and I can't picture what my washing pile will look like when DC no 2 arrives!! Can't seem to face idea of putting him fully back in nappies though having come this far.