How do I tell my boss?!

[Pootletrinket]

I'm 14 weeks pregnant with 2nd child. For months, I've known that my Company is trying to sell-off the branch of the business that I work in; my boss has told me she wants me to stay with the main business and there's a new job she wanted me to go for (and has indicated strongly she thinks I'll get). This was first mentioned to me in May, but for budget reasons delayed advertising until early September. There was a short turn around with the advert and she wanted to interview quickly - should have been about 4 weeks ago.

But for business reasons, it wasn't and now I'll be 15 weeks by the time of interview.

I don't see my boss very often and she's quite an old school type (not very warm and fuzzy, very business like and is more mature!) and she can be very hard to get hold of - via email and phone, she's quite aggressive and often misses the point, so if I do get the job (fingers crossed as I'm likely to be made redundant by whoever buys the branch if not!) I want to tell her in person.

I'll be seeing her 2 days after the interview but in a mixed crowd.

I already feel a bit bad, I know I don't have to tell work until 25 weeks, but I would, in normal circumstances, have told them by now. I trust my boss, but not hers, so didn't want to tell them before the interview for obvious reasons (even though I know my rights; it'd be hard to prove not getting the job due to pregnancy!).

So I feel bad for not already telling them; but instead waiting for outcome of the interview - how will I break the news?

My friend reckons I should wait a couple of weeks after finding out interview outcomes, but that would take me closer to 20 weeks and I think that's a bit too late.

The job is a new one; there's loads to be done and I can imagine that they really won't be pleased about appointing someone who's only going to do it for 5 ish months before going on mat leave.

Am beginning to get quite anxious - do I spin a tail about not knowing for long? Exaggerate (we were trying for over a year and were beginning to think I wasn't ovulating from test results)? Or am I blowing it out of proportion in my hormonal mind and sleepless periods in the middle of the night!?!

Sorry for long post/ramble!!!!

Dont beat yourself up, you need to look after number one at the end of the day.

I told my employers i was preg when they offered me better job with more money- i had an attack of morals, i got treated like a second class citizen from that second!

Believe it or not your just a number to them.

The law is there for a very good reason.

hope you work it out.

You're doing the right thing. Don't feel guilty - you say yourself there's a chance you'll be made redundant, so they're clearly not feeling guilty about you.

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about reactions as in fact people at work generally expect you to look after yourself. Who else is going to?

Sorry - meant to add you don't have to explain yourself. You're having a baby. People do. Don't apologise for it!

I wouldn't apologise (although timing from their perspective could be better!!) - but thought most people tell work by now; so why haven't I?!?!

And would you do it straight away (if successful) or wait a bit?! And then what if they ask why I didn't say before?!!

If you feel that there is a risk that you won't get the job if they know, then why should you feel bad? An employer who does this does not have your best interests at heart, so why should you have theirs?

I agree with the other comments. Sadly, if you tell work they will most likely take it into consideration even though they shouldn't! i would keep schtum until after the interview, then play it by ear. Tell your boss at the first opportunity which feels right - make sure you have an opportunity to tell her in person.

Then I would have a couple of plans for dealing with it. If your boss is being understanding and happy for you (and the job is confirmed - and you've signed the contract) then why not tell her the truth. If in your opinion she is being difficult / funny with you, then I would stretch the truth a little and say that although you had your suspicions you were not sure! I wouldn't out and out right lie and say you didn't know though (well I can't lie very well anyway).

Good luck

S

Keep quiet - I'm not telling til I have to.

There's nothing they can do if you don't tell them until the limit!

The same things happened to a friend of mine, she keep schtum too, and when asked why she didn't mention it earlier. She just said the first scan highlighted some issues and she wanted to wait until these had been resolved first in case there were any problems.

Nothing was wrong but she just wanted to prove the point you don't have to tell them at 12/13 weeks.

Good luck with the interview!

:) xxx

Have thought about this, but didn't want to jinx it in case (superstition) my white lie creates a problem!

Thanks - interview first hurdle, then get in writing an offer - anything else I suppose I can plan afterwards (but maybe won't have much time to do so!)

I wouldn't tell them before the interview and decision as you'll never really know whether any outcome was related to the pregnancy if you do.

If you'll move quickly into the new role, I'd wait until you start the new job and tell them during the early days of establishing what your role/responsibilities are. You can then work constructively with them to set clear objectives for your remaining months and plan for handing over to someone else. They may also be able to capitalise on the interviews they've just done by offering your maternity cover to the second place candidate.

If you won't move to the new role quickly, then I think you have a bigger dilemma. Personally I'd feel vulnerable telling them before moving roles in case they suddenly decide to restructure the main office team and don't need someone from the branch all of a sudden .....

Hope the interview goes well, you get the job, and all goes smoothly with telling them about your pregnancy

Funnily enough, I'm in almost the exact same situation.

The job I think I'm likely to be offered in the next couple of weeks is with very good work friends (just a different dept at my company), which makes it all the more tricky - any other time, I'd tell them my news. And the job has a product that will launch in April - exactly when I'm due.

I've ummed and ahhed over it, but have decided to proceed without saying anything - should they even offer it to me of course.

This is for two reasons: I don't have to legally, and, should the job suddenly not be offered, I'd never know if was my pg that changed their minds or not. I'd actually hate to put them in the situation of factoring my pg against my ability to do the job, too. The timing is terrible!

Good luck whatever you decide to do =)

Thanks again! Ruby - am due at the same time. Thing is, if I got the job and then told them immediately (unlikely I'd move straight into it as I'm pivotal in "shutting the branch down") and they then decided they didn't need the role, I'd be in a strong position because it's a new role and they've had the budget approved - and on the upside, I can barely afford any mat. leave at all, so maybe they'll just let me have 3 months (and give me a bit extra money for it ;)!

Decisions, decisions - let's see if I get it first!

Thanks for your responses!