feeling blue!!! preg with third (accident) frightened

[julantal]

i'm a mother of two and was finally feeling that things in my life were getting back to normal i'm not the greatest mom and at times i feel like screaming which i do so the idea of having a third is horrific at best i was totally in shock when i realized i might be prego and of course to my dismay iam!!! i hate this and cant seem to find a peaceful mind i dont want this third one i dont want to mess up what i already have i hate that every waking moment is filled with dread i hate that i feel this way and cant handle the all consuming mind of what the hell am i going to do? anyone out there? help calm my fears? tell me what to do? help help help

Oh god you poor thing. I can't tell you what to do but am here if you want to talk.
Can you say more about your home life? What are your options? How old are you? Do you have family support?

I was in your position Dec 2008. My youngest was 5months old. We had a contraceptive failure.

I had bad pregnancies, always sick, pre-eclampsia with dd1. More symptoms with dd2, but not actually PE, thankfully. I have constant sickness/headaches. But I did have SPD, awful carpal tunnel that still remains. My body doesn't like being pregnant.

And I have had 2 sections.

Baby #3 not planned/wanted. So I did what I had to. In January 2009 I had a termination. For the above & other reasons.

And, almost 2 years on I feel that I did the right thing. I would not have coped with my now 2yr old & a 1yr old. I feel nothing but relief that I took the choice I did.

You don't have to have this baby, just because it happened.

I have 3 dc and the third has fitted in so easily. She has def been good for the boys. I have just had a miscarriage aafter an unplanned preg at 10 weeks. I would give the world to be preg now. I too considered my options but came to the decision that i could not terminate my baby. However, it is up to you and only you. Just dont do something which you will later regret, either way.

You sound so panicky you can't possibly make a decision at the moment. You need to talk to someone to work through your feelings and only then will you be able to come to a decision that you are happy with. Can you contact your GP to get some help?

Take care x

i have an appointment on the 27th to see the GP (obgyn) i have a feeling he doenst swing this way of "options" so it may fall on deaf ears when i think of people to confide in i know that no one i know can hold a secret i'm mean really hold it i feel so lost. i'm married and he does know i'm about 6 weeks out he of course is "well it happened and it's a belssing we will make it work" yeah when you work ten hour days and leave every morning with glee (this is my glee going out the door because i wish it was me). i really dont like being a mom i dont like the whole part of feeling pulled in all directions-- i like it when i drop them off for daycare. It's better some days and that is waht i mean by the light of feeling it's getting better.

i pray for a miscarriage i have even looked on how to make this happen myself it's awfullllllll

if i go the way of termination i fell as though karma may come and get me i'm catholic and not toooo involved but of course you know the deal with catholic quilt!!!

ohhhh please i just wish it could take care of itself!!!

thanks for your thoughts

I think you need to talk to someone before the 27th, you sound like you might be in danger of hurting yourself if you are looking at ways to make you miscarry. Please please get help, you really need to talk to someone now. Why not try the British Pregnancy Advisory Service on 08457 30 40 30.

Please take care of yourself xx

Hi Julantal,

Have you considered finding out if your antenatal unit has a mental health team. Mine has a team called PRAMS i can't remember what it stands for but essentially they assess you and will help you come to terms with issues you are experiencing.

Alternatively ask your GP to help you, he/she should refer you to someone you can talk to It sounds like you may already be suffering with anxiety/depression and you need help straight away before you hurt yourself.

Good luck whatever you decide but please get some help.