a baby to save your relationship

[jollyjollymom]

hey, we often read in celeb magazines "this is the baby who saved my relationship/marriage", "I was forced into having a new baby" etc. has anyone had such experience in real life? how many of you think your idea of not having more kids is just being ignored by your partner/husband??

I think that sometimes a baby who has arrived following a period of trouble is ok, depending on what the trouble was and if it's a let's make us stronger rather than let's do something to divert attention from the problem.

I don't think many women have been forced into having a baby as contraception is often the woman's 'job' to sort so we kind of have the upper hand there!

I don't like it though when slebs say that they're having a baby just after an affair or something. For it to make you stronger you need to address the issue. Which requires far more than a 5 minute apology.

Personally I don't believe a baby can ever solve a problem in a relationship. Only hide one for a while. I personally do not believe that having a baby is something two people can compromise on. You either both want it or you don't do it. It requires 100% commitment on both sides to make the relationship work with the baby. I accepted that when I mentioned having a baby my OH wasn't ready, pressuring him into it would have been a bad decision for the pair of us.

Oh yes, because no sleep, a lack of sex drive and a loathing for what your own body has morphed into is really going to turn you into a love machine, no?

that's right. stress and lack of sleep often puts women off, but some men I think, are very pushy to have another child or even for the sake of having a baby boy, just to kick a football with them..... is that right....??

My friend had a baby after she found out her husband had been seeing her friend behind her back for about 2 years. They are happy now, but I think thats due to her negotiating on the things hes 'allowed' to do now.

Its worked for them, but I wonder for how long.

Having a baby puts a huge strain on your relationship. If you were having problems anyway I think that a baby is more likely to add to them, than solve them. :(

Even if it seems to 'solve' things on the surface I think that the relationship is still likely to suffer in the long run, and is it fair to bring a child into that situation?