went to parentcraft class alone

[Expecting06112010]

I had my first Parentcraft class last night at the local hospital, my mum is my birthing partner and she was poorly last night so i rang the hospital to ask if a could attend alone, she was really nice and said yes thats fine. She told me they didnt really do the sitting down in a circle breathing thing, so i attended alone, there was around 9 couples and a girl with her mum, but i tried to make the best of it! i came out of the class feeling quite deflated i had to leave early as i was given the wrong times and had someone to pick me up waiting outside. The other couples were nice but as im 20 i was the youngest there, but i thought id make the most of it so in the groups we were in i took the lead, but i felt like a spare part at a wedding, as i was alone i felt like i had to make the point that it dosent make them better parents then me, i wasnt told anything i didnt know although the lady taking the class was very nice. do you think i was being judged? or am i just getting myself in a flap for nothing! i do feel proud for going on my own, i normally am independent but in that environment i didnt like it, i also found it a little pointless as i knew all the information! anyone else had a not very nice experience at an antenatal session?

I think you are feeling self-conscious which is normal and understandable.

I went to my first NCT class alone as my husband was late back from work. One other lady was also alone that evening so it made it a bit better, but no one judged or at least no one seemed to.

One lady in my class was unmarried and had her mum as her birthing partner too and she is lovely and is as much part of the group as any of the other ladies. She is also the youngest but that does not make a scrap of difference.

It was only your first class so give it time! Yes, you will know much of the information they discuss but there will be some things you don't know and this is why classes are so important. It isn't all about learning but about bonding with other mothers to be and creating a support network so you have someone to ring when you need help or company or advice etc.

I subsequently went to a couple of other classes on my own too due to DH being at work, but he came to a few when he could and I made sure he was there for the day session which involved pain relief and massage etc. These are the things I need him to know about as my birthing partner!

Try not to be self-conscious. Everyone is far too busy worrying about themselves and their unborn babies to worry too much about your situation. I am sure they will all be friendly if you just give them a go. You probably won't get on with everyone, but hopefully you will meet a couple of people that you want to stay in touch with.

And don't think that you know it all already and that there is no point!

yes you were probably being judged and they would have all judged you to be very brave and a great parent. Keep going as you're sure to learn something but let's hope your mum can go with you next time,or just take a friend.Surestart does sessions for younger mums in some areas,you could ask your MW if there's anything in your area. Once your baby is born you won't feel so alone at baby groups as only the mums go.

thank you, i think i am worrying about nothing, i will continue to go as what is coming up in the classes will be a lot of help to me, and take my mum next time, or a friend, i just didnt know what to expect there. i will be a single mum, but a very confident and well suported single mum i think it was more to do with the fact that in the group there was teachers and other professionals, people just so different from me although like i said they did seem very nice and friendly. Once the baby is born i will be trying to involve myself in baby classes such as swimming and massage classes, and i just didnt want this to put me off taking part.

Don't worry about it expecting, I went to Parentcraft classes with my 1st and everyone else was much posher than me . I did learn from them and in the end was glad I went. I had to go to a scan on my own and it was a bit weird, good luck

Hi poor you I remember the feeling. I went to the first class alone as DH was working, and there were 15 other women there, all with their partner/mother/friend. I was one of the first to arrive and my heart sank each time another couple arrived in a pair. But the next class I went to, some of those people came on their own, which made me realise they probably weren't judging me at all, and that most of the people in the room would realise its not always possible for your birth partner to make it too.

do keep going to the classes, I found people got a friendlier as they went on. Like you, I already knew all the information, but found them quite useful for just feeling like part of a group learning about it, and for getting a sense of the midwives views on things. Some of the classes contained useful tips / background about the specific hospital, which I couldn't have picked up from a book.