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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

To all expecting mothers - particularly the first timers - I urge you...

17 replies

PacificDogwood · 06/10/2010 21:41

...if you do nothing else in preperation for your babies, DO read:

What Mothers do, especially when it looks like nothing

and

The politics of breastfeeding.

I am sorry if I come across as a raving lunatic wanting to put pressure on anybody, particulary about the feeding issue - soooo emotive.
However, I wish I had read or even heard of either book before I had DS1 7 years ago. I would have been less unprepared for the experience of motherhood, I would have enjoyed my babies more and I would have had a far, far easier time understanding why I found BFing so absurdly hard (and didn't manage until DS3..) and what I could do to make it easy/successful/fun.

As you were.

But really, no other baby book will do as much for you as these 2. Honest.

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lucy101 · 06/10/2010 22:08

I am with you - those are definitely the best two books I have read!

MrsMogwai · 06/10/2010 22:47

I'm currently reading What Mother's Do. Haven't heard of the other one, but will keep an eye out for it.

Can I add www.thefoodoflove.org/ to the list? Excellent book about breastfeeding with fabulously funny cartoons depicting motherhood!

hellymelly · 06/10/2010 22:54

I've read them both too.I was already bfing a toddler when I read "the politics of breastfeeding" but it changed the way I think about breastfeeding,it is a really good book.

Tabi86 · 07/10/2010 08:06

thanks ladies, have just ordered them both, first baby due very soon so always looking for tips that have helped other mums,

keep them coming

Tabi86 · 07/10/2010 08:07

thanks ladies, have just ordered them both, first baby due very soon so always looking for tips that have helped other mums,

keep them coming

lilly13 · 07/10/2010 08:18

thank you very much for your kindness! will definitely order these books

OmicronPersei8 · 07/10/2010 08:19

I remember reading What Mothers Do when DD was a baby, I cried because I recognised everything described, it was so good to see that me being tired, snappy as well as a little overwhelmed was a) normal and b) meant I was doing what I should be (ie being a mother). I lent my copy to a tearful mum last week - I think it's the most wonderful, positive reassurance you could get.

I read the politics of breastfeeding last year, it too changed how I saw breastfeeding (and I too was breastfeeding a toddler at the time). It just gives such a good context for this history of breastfeeding in the UK as well as the politics now.

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 07/10/2010 10:03

I am so relieved that so far nobody has expressed outrage at my trying to tell them what to do, or summat similar .

I was, and am, just so moved by both books because they described exactly the kind of things that I struggle with during early motherhood, to the point were I was beginning to wonder whether the authors had been spying on me... .

I think other parenting books have their place as long as one picks and choses the tidbits of advice that suit ones baby, but these two are just so much more comprehensive and designed to make you fell better, rather than tell you all the things you are Doing Wrong and Must Do Better .

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japhrimel · 07/10/2010 10:07

Thanks for the recommendation. I had thought I'd not bother getting Politics as I'm so determined to bf anyway, but it may give me more support/ammunition.

thell · 07/10/2010 12:13

I can recommend The Wonder Weeks, but it's not necessary to buy it unless you're particularly interested in the INS and outs.

The basics of it are that two Dutch doctors have been studying the development of babies in their first year, and found that they tend to have growth spurts at around the same times...but crucially, the developmental growth spurts (as opposed to physical growth spurts) are usually accompanied by the baby becoming very grouchy, crying, clinging and needy for a short time while they readjust to their new perspective on the world.

It saved my sanity when I had no idea what was wrong with DD.

OmicronPersei8 · 07/10/2010 14:43

thell, I remember years ago one of my friends telling me something about this, she had some kind of chart these moments were marked on. I loved the idea of having that little bit more understanding of what was happening for the baby (unfortunately my friend had lost hers so I never got to see it!).

passionberry · 07/10/2010 16:00

Have meaning to get these for ages having heard a lot about them on here - have now clicked and ordered finally! Thanks PacificDogwood!

BrigitteBardot · 07/10/2010 16:02

The politics of breastfeeding is a brilliant book.

tassisssss · 07/10/2010 16:06

Given that i'll probably not breastfeed again [sob] but have done for almost of the past seven years...would someone like to summarise the politics of BFing for me?

Whitethorn · 07/10/2010 16:18

I am a big believer in no books - that is after i bought them all and then threw them in the bin.

I found the What Mothers Do one a bit depressing. I had an ok baby experience (apart from my feeding nightmares) so I couldnt really relate and found it a bit of a downer. Also I didnt really care if all i did all day was care for my baby, stare at my baby and watch mad men box sets. Its such a special time I didnt put any pressure on myself

MiniMarmite · 07/10/2010 16:28

Thanks PDW, always great to have recommendations.

This will be my second child and I'm currently reading TPOB but will take a look at the other.

I bf DS1 for 16 months and plan to do the same again.

I'm not all that far through TPOB yet and I am finding it interesting but I do get frustrated by some of the sweeping statements that are made without references in some places and yet substantial references in other (this may be my scientific background getting the better of me though). I think I had high expectations due to the reputation of the book and the title and I suppose I feel a bit sad that the message might be damaged a bit because of the slightly non-scientific approach.

I suppose I'm also one for routine and I'm not sure I agree that routine is so damaging (but can appreciate the point that is being made).

Anyway, reserving judgement until I have finished reading it!

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 07/10/2010 20:28

Oh, the Wonder Weeks sounds interesting, thanks!

Mini, I agree with you about the scientificky (is that a word even??) bit in TPOB, but find myself ignoring its shortfalls in favour of the overall message .

Whitethorn, I don't disagree with you: I was all set up to enjoy my first DS and do nothing but gaze at him. I just had not expected this angry, yelling, outraged little person who I was totally and utterly unable to please. It would have helped me if somebody had said that sometimes there is no answer IYKWIM and that sometimes you do feel helpless and useless and bored and stressed all at the same time. AND YET you are still being good at the mothering lark because you ARE holding your little monster darling and looking after him and loving him. BTW, DS1 is now 7 1/2 years and still a complete drama queen .

And I now know that a lot of my feeding problems where to do with rubbish information and no BFing role models and absolutely no confidence in my own body's ability to feed my children - I still lack that confidence now - 4 children later ....

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